My Brand of Heroin
by blinding-rainbows
Summary: AU/All Human. Bella has spent the past three months in rehab for her cocaine addiction. What happens when troubled Edward Cullen is committed to the same center? --EXB
1. With a Little Help From My Friends

**A/N: 'Ze song is 'With A Little Help From My Friends' (obv.) by the Beatles. But I actually like the Joe Anderson version better so… go with that one. I'm going to try to make all chaps song names (that is, if I keep writing. Not sure if I will). But anyway, I just thought this fit with Bella and Alice. Carry on. So here she is. I'm really nervous to be posting this, but I just had to because the idea wouldn't stop bugging me. I hope it's not too terrible and if even one person likes it and reviews, it'll make my day. Seriously. **

**BPOV**

"Well Isabella, I believe me made some excellent progress today! I'll see you same time tomorrow afternoon. Take care," Doctor Reid said. I briefly smiled to him and rushed out of the office, breathing a sigh of relief.

I knew for a fact that we actually had made no progress because he would say that every meeting and if I had made as much progress as he seemed to think I made, I would not be here still. Here being Phoenix Rehabilitation Center for Teens where I had been fighting my cocaine addiction for the past three months; though I couldn't really say I was trying too hard to stop. It was simple. I liked the stuff, so why stop? I couldn't even wrap my mind around why I was even here. Most teens that come here aren't forced here until they overdosed or were too much for anyone to handle. Neither of those things happened to me. I would never use so much that I would OD and in my opinion, I was a pretty well behaved daughter. However, my mother found out about my addiction and as soon as the doctor suggested rehab, she happily agreed.

At this thought I sighed and sat down in the waiting area. Usually I would go straight back to my room here but today I was allowed to go home and visit said mother for a few hours. This didn't happen often so I figured I'd go even if it meant spending the whole time being pitied and getting worried glances from her. So there I sat waiting for my mother, Renee, to pick me up. She was late but it didn't surprise me at this point. She had recently been remarried to a man named Phil which I had hoped would settle her down a bit but it didn't. She has always been the ultimate free spirit and always will be. Not that there's anything wrong with it, but growing up with her, a lot of the time I felt that I was playing the role of adult and her the child. My real father, Charlie, lived in Forks, Washington. I missed him sometimes and I often wondered… if I had gone to live with him, would I be in the situation I'm in now?

I suddenly realized I was not the only one in the waiting area. Five chairs down sitting in the row facing me was a boy with messy, bronze hair. I immediately wondered why he was here. I obviously knew he was here for help because no one was here unless they had an addiction to something or had attempted suicide…but it just didn't seem like he should be here in this dreary place. He seemed too perfect. Save for the dark bruises underneath his gorgeous green eyes-_wait wait, __gorgeous__ green eyes?! Snap out of it, Bella! _He was staring at a spot on the floor off to the corner with his right hand cupping his cheek. _He has to be new here; I've never seen him before._

It wasn't until then that I realized he was sitting with too other people who I could only assume were his parents. The father appeared to be off in his own world while the mother was surprisingly looking at me with almost a knowing smile on her face but at the same time it was full of sadness. I quickly looked away blushing, embarrassed that the boy's mother caught me basically ogling her son. But sadly, I couldn't keep my eyes away for very long, so when I thought it was safe to look back I did just that. The boy looked to be lost in thought so I knew I was safe to continue staring at-_no, observing_- this beautiful being. _That's it, I've lost it._ In all honesty, he looked like someone straight out of the Greek era. I was leaning more towards a Greek god, however. Yes, even with the heavy bags under his eyes and slouched position I couldn't help but believe I was sitting in the presence of Adonis. I was snapped out of my reverie when Dr. Reid's office door opened.

"Edward Cullen?" Dr. Reid asked.

_So, his name is Edward. Hm, it suits him._ Edward's eyes darted off the spot he had been staring at to look at the doctor but not before stopping on me. I could feel my cheeks burning from blushing but couldn't find the power in me to look away. I was trapped in his green-eyed gaze. He continued to stare at me-I wasn't even sure if he realized he was doing it-until his mother interrupted—

"Edward, sweetie, come on." Edward finally broke the staring contest and looked up at his mother and father who were now standing. He nodded once and walked quickly into the office, followed by his parents, but not before Edward's mother gave me another smile, causing me to blush again.

Not seconds later my mother came rushing in out of breath with her hair in complete disarray, "-Gasp- I'm so sorry, sweetheart, -gasp- I completely lost track of time! Come now; let's get you out of here, honey." Renee held her hand out to me and I reluctantly took it. As much I loved her, I did not want to go. Ever since Renee had found out about my addiction, I received nothing more than a pity-fest from her. She blames herself one hundred per cent and for some reason thinks it best to treat me like a seven year old. It's immensely aggravating but I can't be mad at her.

"Oh, I can't wait for you to see what I've done to the kitchen! The new paint job has made it much more bright and cheery!" This was Renee's way of beating around the bush, staying away from the "dangerous topic". I simply nodded and smiled, continuing to stare out of the passenger side of the windshield.

We pulled up to the bright blue two-story house of Phil and Renee Dwyer, as she quickly ushered me in.

When we walked into the kitchen Renee asked, "Don't you love it, dear?"

"Hmm…yeah!" I really could see no difference but I thought I'd save time and just play along. Renee seemed pleased enough with my answer and started shuffling around the kitchen starting dinner.

The silence was starting to irritate me, which was saying something. "Umm, where's Phil?" –my last resort for small talk. Renee slowly looked up from the cookbook she was reading from, "Hm? Oh, I'm afraid he won't be joining us tonight. I'm sorry, sweetie, but he had an emergency meeting with the team." I suppose she thought this would break my heart but it didn't. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind Phil, he's a nice enough guy; but he's not much of a loss at the dinner table as far as conversation goes. Phil doesn't talk much.

And so the evening drew on, all the while Renee asking me meaningless questions here and there. I could feel myself getting restless and took this as my cue to subtly sneak off for another dose of cocaine. When I got back Renee suddenly realized it was time to leave. "Gosh! Look at the time! We have to get you back to…the Center," as Renee slightly pouted. She refused to call it anything but the "the Center". I quickly stood up from my seat in the living room and headed to the front door.

The ride back to the Center was relatively quiet and I could tell Renee's good mood had dropped. This, at least, was a sign that she wasn't totally fine about leaving me by myself at PRC. Though, I wasn't really alone there. As much as I can be completely anti-social I did manage to make two friends so far during my stay. I'm quite proud of that fact.

"Goodbye sweetie, I love you. I'll see you…later," Renee said as she didn't really know when she would be seeing me next. I mumbled a goodbye, hopped out of the car and walked back through the doors of the Center.

"Ah, Ms. Swan, you're back! Please sign in here," the receptionist greeted me. I did what she asked and headed down the corridor to the room I shared with my roommate.

"Bella!" a small blur came bounding towards me, tackling me to the wall with a hug, as soon as I walked through the door. "I missed you! How is your mother? Did she—" "Alice, Alice, I was only gone for a few hours," I chuckled. "Renee's fine. My visit was slightly awkward but what's new?" My best friend Alice giggled and nodded. I felt a tinge of guilt for a moment as I remembered that Alice had no one to visit. PRC was really her home, in a sense. I also knew that in her eyes, I was her family, and I felt proud with that fact. I felt the same for her, as we were basically sisters.

Alice had come here a week after myself, after attempting suicide. Her adoptive father had treated her brutally which led to her trying to kill herself. Since staying here, she has made excellent progress and has even met someone, Jasper. I know they both deeply love each other, they just haven't admitted yet. Jasper was the other good friend I had here. We were a great trio even though I felt like the third wheel half the time, as they'd go off into their own "Alice and Jasper" world sometimes.

"So, what've I missed around here, since I've _apparently_ been gone for such a long time," I teased. Alice laughed, "Oh! I've heard that someone new arrived today, a boy!" Alice smiled slyly to me. She knew I was the odd woman out sometimes and had always pestered for me to "find myself a man", as Alice puts it.

"Stop right there, Alice. I can practically see the cogs turning in that evil mind of yours. I beg of you, please, do not do anything," I pleaded. I knew what Alice could do. I was about to get down on my knees to beg further when she complied with a slight pout, "Fine, I won't do anything. Gosh, you can be so stubborn sometimes. If you'd just put yourself out there more, maybe—"

"Okay, okay, I get you. Like I've gotten you the other million times you've told me the "put yourself out there, Bella" speech. I'm sorry, it's just not happening. I'm perfectly happy with the two great friends I have now," I told her while smiling, as I patted her spiky black-haired head. Alice narrowed her eyes at me for a second until she finally smiled at me. She knew I'm not the outgoing person like she is and she accepted me for it. I've never been able to strike up a conversation with anyone before Alice and Jasper came along…then again no one ever really ever tried to talk to me. I was always the weird kid.

Breathing a sigh of relief that Alice was not going to continue her rant, we settled down into our beds and started talking about small, meaningless topics. Our Room Adviser, Beth, always had to come in at least a couple times a night to remind us to go to bed, but we never learned. We always wondered when they would finally realize that separating us would be the only way. Alice and I hoped it would never come to that.

Alice had just told me something funny one of the patients did today at dinner when Beth opened our door for the third time, "Girls, PLEASE! Go to bed." She had resorted to begging. We said our apologies and promised we'd go to sleep.

"Good night, Bella," Alice half yawned to me, still giggling.

"'Night, Alice," I replied.

As I was falling asleep, I couldn't help but wonder how long I'd have to stay here. In a way, I didn't even want to. I didn't completely hate this place but it'd still be nice to return home. I also knew I couldn't leave Alice. She needed me and I needed her as well. She was the first real friend I had ever had in my seventeen years of existence. I sighed and snuggled deeper into my pillow, waiting for sleep to take over.

**A/N: You know you want to review ;) … maybe? Please remember I'm not a pro fanfiction writer like all of you out there. So go easy on me! Thank ya's.**


	2. Welcome to Paradise

**Yes, 'Welcome to Paradise' by Green Day, ah course. Haha, seemed to sort of fit. It was this…or a Depeche Mode song… which actually seemed to fit as well when i looked at the lyrics but i picked this instead…I'm weird like that. I can see the lyrics near the end of the green day song as…foreshadowing maybe? Oooo, mysterious Emily.**

**AN: Might I just say THANK YOU to the people who reviewed. I nearly died. The fact that I even got ONE blew my mind. I went berserk, I'm sure I looked pretty ridiculous to an onlooker. ANYWAY! I hope my first chapter didn't like, set the bar too high or anything. To be honest, I really only had that at the time…I mean, don't worry, I have an idea of what I'll do now for the story but we'll see if it works out. For this chapter, I've attempted Edward's POV. Scary business. I probably shouldn't have attempted it…but I did. (By the way, I know nothing about rehab places or like… people on drugs for that matter… so I'm really just winging it… hope no one minds. Okay, I'm done I'm done, sheesh.)**

**Disclaimer: Apparently I don't own the Twilight books and I'm not Stephenie Meyer… what's up with that?**

_Stupid, stupid Edward. You've wound up in rehab. I hope you're happy. _The biggest mistake of my life was trying a hit of heroin. Scratch that. The biggest mistake of my life was ever making a friend like Tyler Crowley, for he was the one who gave me said hit of heroin. The way he talked about it made the drug sound so…_alluring_. I had always been pressured to get excellent grades in school. Being the captain of the school basketball team didn't help matters either. So when I tried the heroin all the pressure just…disappeared. It was sweet bliss, the times I was on the drug. The only turn off were the withdrawals each time, until I could get my hands on more of it. It was a price I was more than willing to pay for that beautiful serenity.

My parents were too perceptive, though. They knew right away that I was changing for the worse and quickly searched for the help that I supposedly needed. I could understand why they did this, in a way. The Edward Cullen they knew would never in his right mind do drugs, but they weren't aware of the pressure they put on me. As soon as since I hit High School my father constantly told me to pick up on my studies, for I'd need perfect grades to get into a University for medical school. I didn't want to be a doctor like my father Carlisle, however; my dream was to be a musician. Even with this thought, I didn't blame the two of them for my use of drugs. It was, after all, my choice and I took full responsible for my actions. Still didn't mean I wanted to be in this God forsaken place.

Every few minutes I could feel my mother, Esme, reach over and give my hand a squeeze. She knew I was very hostile at the moment but was still trying to comfort me like the wonderful mother she was. I couldn't find the effort to tear my eyes away from the corner of the room to thank her, though. This just didn't seem right. How could they be fine with this? How could—

"Edward Cullen?" a man to my left asked.

I finally lifted my eyes from that seemingly interesting corner of the room when they were met with a pair of deep chocolate brown ones. She was the most stunning girl I had ever laid eyes on…and she did just that; stunned me. I couldn't move. I also couldn't seem to look away from her beautiful heart-shaped face, even though I was well aware that it was extremely rude to be staring. _Is it just me, or is she having the same problem as I am? I mean, she hasn't looked away yet either_. I took in the rest of her appearance and was not let down. Framing her flawless face was wavy mahogany-coloured hair that reached to about the middle of her back, if I had to guess. I mean, it was hard to tell seeing as she was sort of curled up on the chair. I could now see that an adorable blush had made it's way upon the girl's cheeks as well. Unfortunately my erm…_observing_ was soon interrupted.

"Edward, sweetie, come on!" Esme told me from somewhere above me. I looked up to see that my parents were both now standing. I nodded and quickly walked into the awaiting doctor's office.

It was your everyday, clichéd doctor's office. A large wooden desk, which held family pictures, a computer, and various office supplies. The mint green walls were lined with a few medical certificates and dull pieces of art. There was also a good size bookshelf behind the doctor's desk where the doctor himself sat in his large black leather chair.

"Now, I am Doctor Thomas Reid. It is nice to meet you…Edward," I held in my laugh as the doctor attempted to sneakily peek at his papers to check my name. It couldn't have been that great to meet me if he had already forgotten my name in, what was it, two minutes? "However, of course I wish we were meeting on more pleasant terms. I assure you, though, that myself and the staff here will do all that is in our power to help you with your sickness," _–sickness? What, am I diseased or something?_ "and get you better and back into your home as quick as possible. Though, it all really comes down to the patient's own determination and will power." He looked at me for a few seconds. I really didn't know what to say, IF I was supposed to say anything to him so I remained silent and looked out the window I was sitting close to.

"Mr. and Mrs. Cullen, Phoenix Rehabilitation Center is truly a wonderful place. You have no worries that your son will be in great care here. There is…" and at that point I completely zoned out. I believe he went on to describing the rooming and luxuries here but I really did not care. I continued to stare out that window…admiring the outside. The bright blue sky, the chirping birds and the bright sun. Who knows how long it would be until I could see all of those beautiful elements again, until I had my freedom back. I realized then that I had taken my surroundings so much for granted— okay, so maybe I was being a _tad_ overdramatic, it not like I'm going to prison.

"How long will Edward need to stay, doctor?" I was knocked out of my depressing, silent monologue by my worried mother who looked like she was about to cry.

Doctor Reid replied with his vague response, "Like I said, it really comes down to the patient and how much they are willing to actually put forth an effort to rehabilitate themselves. But this isn't something he will be going through alone, Mrs. Cullen. We will all be here to help and support him and he will have his fellow peers for support as well, for they are going through the exact same problems."

Esme looked at me, practically daring me not to get better as soon as possible. I gave her the best reassuring smile I could manage.

"Well, I believe that's everything. I'd ask you three to please say your goodbyes and I will then get a nurse to show Edward here to his accommodations," doctor Reid said bluntly. This would not go over well with Esme, I thought. And I was right.

She looked completely shocked that she would have to leave now. Doctor Reid stood and left the room to give my family and I our privacy.

"Oh, honey. Please, please, _please_, do whatever they ask to get over this…addiction. I can't believe this is happening!" Esme had lost the battle with her tears and began to cry. "I'm going to miss you so much!" Without warning she gathered me up into a strong vice grip.

"Mom—" I managed to choke out, "mom, you'll still get to visit, this isn't goodbye for eternity," I tried to joke, but the small smile on my face quickly vanished when I saw my mother give me a 'how could you do this to me?' look. You know, one of those utterly heart wrenching looks? Yeah, well I was looking right at one, and it killed me. She was-well, her look-was right, how could I do this…to my own mother! Well, if I was looking for any determination to kick the heroin habit, I sure as hell found it in my mother's eyes.

My father Carlisle, who had not spoken a word yet, finally piped up, "He's right, Esme, we will get to visit. Everything will be fi— "

"No, everything will _not_ be fine, Carlisle," Esme was now starting to go into hysterics, "I'm losing my baby!" this brought on a whole new of tears.

"Mom, please, don't be sad. I promise I will get better soon. I promise." I wasn't exactly sure what I was promising here. I didn't know how hard it would be or if I could even stay off the drug…but I wasn't about to tell my mother that.

My pledge seemed to soothe Esme, though, and she calmed down…some.

"Well, I guess this is goodbye,"—I could see where I got my over dramatics from…thanks mom, "Please, don't—"

"Honey, I think he gets it. We both want to see you better soon, son," Carlisle told me. I nodded my head in acknowledgement.

The three of us stood up to hug, "I love you so much, Edward, please take care of yourself," Esme told me, now back to trying to hold in the brimming tears.

"I love you too, mom," I replied. "I'll see you soon!" This got a small smile out of her, _finally_. Carlisle clapped a hand on my shoulder and before I knew it farewells were over and I was being led down a hallway to my room. I had to admit, I wasn't staying in some cheap rehab facilitation with whitewashed walls. No, here, the corridor walls were painted a brilliant deep green with white trim and had more pieces of art hanging every few steps. This looked more like a dormitory than anything and that wasn't an awful thing.

"Here we are. You will be staying in room 6," the nurse waved her hand in front of a door, "but I'm afraid you won't be having a roommate." She said this as if it were some terrible crisis, while I couldn't have been more pleased. I liked my privacy.

"If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask. I hope you have a pleasant stay and supper will be served shortly," the nurse informed. I gave her a short thank you and soon left. _Now, what to do until dinner…_

I took in the room. It was a fair size; at least I wouldn't be cramped in here. The fact that I wouldn't be sharing the room with anyone meant I'd also get extra space. The walls were a light colour of blue, almost sky blue and on either sides of the room were twin size beds, dressers, desks, et cetera. I slowly unpacked all of my belongings, wasting as much time as I could until I would go eat. I was sad to say my piano had not been able to follow me here. I was already missing it terribly and knew that it would feel like an eternity until I'd get to play it again.

After unpacking and some serious moping, it was time to head down to dinner. As I was walking towards the cafeteria, I looked into some of the rooms and noticed that this place really didn't seem like a hospital of any kind and it was really quite normal looking. I was glad to see that the people here took into consideration that they didn't want their patients anymore depressed here than they already were. I finally made my way to the cafeteria and found it already packed with the other residents. Taking in my surroundings, I made my way to the line waiting for food at the front of the room, which looked like any other school cafeteria. The people, at first glance, looked completely normal as well until I looked closer and noticed a lot of them resembled my appearance. Run down with not a lot of hope in their eyes. Even with this, many seemed to be eating with friends and having a decent enough time. I could only wonder if, in time, I'd be able to make at least _one_ friend here. _Not likely_, I thought. _Do you even care?…I guess not_.

Grabbing my tray of what looked to be potatoes and some kind of meat, I sat down at an abandoned table in the corner. I ate as quickly as possible, trying not to notice how particularly unappetizing the food I was currently ingesting was, all the while continuing to look around the cafeteria. It was a peaceful enough environment until a scrawny kid near the center of the room decided it would be funny to throw his dessert at the back of one of the lunch lady's head, who was unfortunate enough to be walking by the able at the time. This caused an uproar of laughter from the other people at the table and so I decided to leave before total anarchy graced the cafeteria, heading back to my room. _Well done, Edward_, I thought glumly, _you've made it through one meal here unscathed so far…only another billion to go!_ Even with this number, I felt I was being too optimistic.

I killed another couple of hours by simply reading and listening to my ipod. Feeling that it was a late enough hour, I quickly pulled on a pair of plaid pajama pants since it was too cold to just sleep in my boxers, and crawled into the semi-comfortable bed. Not a half hour later, I could hear my Room Advisor knocking on my room telling me lights out and to go to bed, which I was already _trying_ to do. I hoped the rest of my nights here wouldn't be spent like they were tonight but I couldn't help but know that they would be. With this saddening thought, I drifted off to sleep.

**AN: My apologies to anyone if they were dreadfully upset that I hadn't updated until today, (I know no one was but let's pretend to be optimistic for a moment) I had the pleasure of getting my wisdom teeth out on Friday! Yeah, right before Spring Break! Ugh. So, the pain decided to finally catch up to me on Monday and Tuesday so these past few days have been hell. Thank god you only have to get wisdom teeth out once in your life, eh?**

**How was it, though? Am I totally off with Edward? Should I not go to his point of view again? I tried, I really did. i really don't like the beginning of him trying to explain his situation but evs.**

**Please review, it truly means a lot and brightens my day :) … okay, that sounded lame but you get the point. Cheers!**


	3. I'm Ready

**AN: 'I'm Ready – Jack's Mannequin.' Ah, I simply love this song, don't you? Not quite sure of the connection to the chapter…**

**I can't believe how many reviews I've gotten so far! Quite a few people seem to like the story, which is kind of weird seeing as I started writing this on impulse! I am glad to hear I didn't totally butcher Edward's POV! I hope this chapter is up to par as well…because it is in Edward's POV as well! Heh, sorry. Sorry if he is OOC and is just too sarcastic…I tried to not make him so like that but that's just how I naturally roll day-to-day so it was hard.**

**I also don't know the methods that are involved in rehab. I tried to do some research but…they weren't very informative. Or I'm just not good at researching…that might explain the grades I'm getting in school ;)…so, in conclusion…once again, totally making everything up to better fit the story.**

**EPOV**

I awoke only to find myself curled into a tight ball. _What is with this place being so bloody cold?_ I sighed heavily and uncurled, looking at the clock to see that it was 6:57am. From what I could remember from the _fascinating_ welcome speech by Dr. Reid yesterday, in three minutes I'd be getting my wake-up call by my Room Advisor.

Until then, I continued to lie there, still not quite finished my exciting task of sulking from yesterday.

Just as I thought, at 7:00am on the dot, I was snapped out of my trance by…Alex, _I think_, "Hey, get up! Now!" Well, hey, at least it was short and to the point.

Today was a Friday, which meant that I would be enduring some form of school here since we weren't able to go out into the real world for public school. They just loved making us feel normal here it astounded me.

I threw on a pair of jeans and a random t-shirt and slowly meandered down to the cafeteria. By down, I actually meant _down_. This place was quite big, having three floors.

The cafeteria wasn't as crowded as it was at dinner last evening. _So the people here aren't morning people_. I received my breakfast and headed to an empty table once again. Minutes later, I noticed a blond haired kid walking towards my table and he seemed to be excited about something.

"Hi, I'm Mike Newton!" _Wow_. "You're new here, aren't you?" he asked as he stuck out his hand.

"Edward…and yeah I am," I replied, hoping that would suffice his inquiring mind.

"So, what're you here for?" It didn't. It was a bit unnerving how forward this Mike guy was being. Wasn't that question a bit personal? I guess not to him.

I settled for, "I'm a drug addict," as I tried to keep out the 'Duh' that was on the edge of my tongue. This response seemed to only irritate Mike. Well, he could join my club then because I was definitely annoyed by him.

"What drug?" I knew I would regret telling him, I just knew it. So why did I tell him? I'm still trying to figure that one out.

"Heroin," I finally told him.

"Ah," was what I got in reply. What? After this whole ordeal with the Spanish Inquisition all I got was an '_ah'_? For someone who was excited just seconds ago, he didn't seem at all interested with this fact. I really did not understand how this guy's mind was working (IF his mind was working. I snickered at the thought.) and at that moment I silently wished I could read his mind, though I'm sure I'd be more than frightened with what I'd find.

I slowly started to stand, "Yeah, so I'm just—" but I was cut off by Mike who was obviously oblivious to me trying to escape his presence.

"I'm addicted to cocaine, myself," he said, as if he was talking about the weather. I bit my cheek from saying something like, 'good for you', because it obviously wasn't something to be praised about but I'm sure if I had said that it would only burst his confidence in some way.

"Oh," two can play the monosyllable answer game.

"Hey, who's class do you have?" _Oh god, please don't let me be in the same classroom as this guy. He's obviously desperate for friends or something since it seems I'm his new best buddy._ "Mrs…Williams'…?" I answered hesitantly. I could see Mike's face physically brighten.

"I'm in her class as well! We'll walk together," he said as he stood up with his tray. By the way he said this, I knew I had no choice. Okay, so if there was a god, they obviously hated me. _Well, the feeling's mutual as of now_, I thought sourly, as I realized I'd be spending most of the day with overly friendly Mike here. I walked silently to the classroom as Mike nattered away into my ear.

We entered a room that resembled a normal classroom with the desks and blackboard. I hastily left Mike by the entrance and walked up to a woman who looked to be in her late fifties.

"Um, I'm Edward Cullen and I'm new," I told her quietly, not wanting to draw attention.

Realization dawned on the woman's face as she replied, "Oh! Oh, yes, of course. I'm Mrs. Williams; I will be tutoring you, along with your fellow classmates, on all of your subjects so we will be seeing a lot of each other. I hope we can stay on good terms." She was a very upbeat person but at the same time intimidating.

I nodded and she then pointed me to an empty desk by a pair of girls who had their heads together talking quietly and…Mike. I think I would have rather gone a whole week without a snort of heroin instead of dealing with this ever-growing issue that was Mike. Yes, that's how serious this was. As I got closer, however, I noticed he seemed to be focusing all of his attention on one of the girls I had mentioned earlier.

With this thought, I sat down happily in my seat. Sadly, my good fortune all too soon came to an end.

"Edward! Hey, man!" Mike exclaimed. I wearily smiled and turned to see who the other two girls were that I was sitting by. Anyone would be better than Mike at this point, heck, if they were a psycho killer I think I'd humbly welcome them with open arms, just to be rid of Mike. I also noticed Mike turn his eyes back to a brunette who was intently doodling in her notebook. A curtain of hair blocked me from viewing her face, but she looked familiar.

I was then met with a small hand stuck in front of my face. The hand was attached to the arm of a small pixie-like girl with short black hair.

"Hi! I'm Alice Brandon," she said with a bright smile, which I found had me smiling in return as I shook her hand. She quickly turned to her friend and gave her a supposed inconspicuous nudge, who still had her head in the direction of her notebook. At the jab to her ribs, she snapped her head up and connected her brown eyes with mine. That's when it hit me. This was the same girl I had unabashedly stared at yesterday whilst waiting to see the doctor.

"Edward Cullen," I finally said. I waited to find out what this beautiful girl's name was.

"Bella Swan," she said almost too quiet for me to hear. _Bella_, I thought, _her name doesn't lie_. I continued to look into her chocolate eyes. Not _at _but_ into_, for they were immensely deep and looked like they held a great amount of knowledge, unlike most eyes that appear flat and lifeless. She began to blush like she had done the previous day and I grinned at the fact that it was my doing.

I looked back to Alice who now seemed to be practically bouncing in her seat, looking between Bella and myself with a devilish grin.

"I hear you're new here, Edward, correct?" Alice asked.

"Correct."

"Well, welcome! We'd be more than willing to show you around, right Bella?" Alice turned to Bella. I couldn't help but laugh at the look on Bella's face because she seemed nervous about something. She quickly composed herself, however, and agreed, "Yeah, definitely!" She smiled and I mentally noted that I would have to make her smile more because it really was a glorious site.

"That sounds great," I replied, but I was really only directing the response to Bella. I could tell she was going to say something but she was rudely interrupted by Mike who was quickly making his way to the top of my hit list. Not that I had one, but I'd gladly make one in his case.

"Hey Bella, tonight's movie night, would you like to go with me?" The hope clear in his eyes. I felt a quick pang in my stomach as he asked this to Bella but just as quickly pushed the feeling away. Who was I to stand in between Bella seeing…Mike? _Ugh_. My worries were washed away when I looked to Bella who was clearly annoyed. I inwardly smiled at the thought of her turning him down.

"Sorry Mike, I said I'd sit with Alice and Jasper, right Alice?" Bella looked at Alice daring her to disagree.

"Right!" Alice confirmed, nodding her head.

Mike's face fell from rejection and turned back to the front of the classroom, mumbling incoherent sentences.

"Edward, you can come as well, of course!" Alice suddenly offered.

"And what is it that I'm agreeing to go to? I thought we couldn't go anywhere outside of this place…" I was now confused.

"Oh, that's not true! No, well, tonight is movie night and it's held here in the cafeteria. Every Friday night they show some lame movie. However," she paused dramatically, "tomorrow…they're taking us to the mall!" She squealed as she began to bounce in her seat once again.

"What?!" Bella nearly shouted, eyes widening. "I thought we went _last_ weekend!"

"No silly, last weekend we went to the museum. We haven't gone shopping in two weeks." She added sadly.

"That's right, my apologies, I only endured enough shopping to last me a _lifetime_," Bella retorted sarcastically, narrowing her eyes at Alice. I laughed at her remark and how cute her face looked until she turned to me.

"Oh, you laugh now. You haven't had the pleasure of shopping with Alice Brandon." Alice's eyes lit up.

"Ooo! Good idea, Bella! You'll have to join us tomorrow when we go to the mall. Don't worry, Jasper will be there. I can't wait for you to meet him, I know you two will just hit it off," Alice said excitedly and for some reason, I didn't doubt her.

"You're doomed, Edward," Bella muttered from beside me. I was too dazed at the moment by the sound of her saying my name to take her warning to heart. But when I snapped out of it I looked at Alice who I could tell was now eyeing my obviously slobby outfit with distaste. "She has the word 'makeover' written all over her face. Trust me when I tell you that is not an experience you want to go through," she added quietly. From that statement and the fear in her own eyes, I knew Bella had had an Alice makeover, possibly numerous times. It was now my turn for my eyes to widen. I gulped for effect which made Bella giggle.

Luckily, Mrs. Williams decided now would be a good time to start teaching, as I could see Alice forming a plan in her head, still sizing my clothes up. _Why didn't I grab a nicer shirt?_

Since all of our classes would be in this room (I couldn't help but crack a smile at the thought of having all of my classes with Bella), we got ten-minute breaks in between each change of subject so we could get a break from the stuffy classroom. Thankfully, though, the "school" day didn't last as long as a regular school day would and it passed by quickly and to my surprise, easily. They seemed to have a somewhat easier curriculum here, which I wasn't complaining about, pleased that I would have no trouble with the schoolwork.

Like Alice promised, her and Bella showed me around the Center. I was more than pleased with this, knowing that Mike probably would've done the task if Alice hadn't offered. They were both extremely easy to talk to and I found myself opening up to them. To an extent. I mean, let's not get carried away here, I just met them a few hours ago. I was relieved that they weren't like Mike and being so forward with the personal questions. They didn't even ask why I was here, which I was glad for, I was still a bit uncomfortable talking about it. I supposed it wasn't anything to be ashamed about; we were all here for the same reason, basically, but there was still something holding me back.

My tour had to be cut short to my dislike to visit Dr. Reid. Apparently I'd be having these lovely chats with him. Every. Day. So you could see why I was just giddy with excitement. I tried to make the meeting as quick as possible with my short answers. I really didn't see the point of me having a meeting so soon, what could have possibly changed in 24 hours?

However, I misjudged the Doctor. He wasn't slow.

"How are you feeling, Edward?" he asked.

"How am I feeling?" I asked skeptically.

"Yes," he confirmed.

Oh. "Fine…?" Where was he going with this?

"Mhm," was all I got in reply. "You're not feeling nauseous or dizzy?"

"Nope," I popped the p, as I remained stubborn. Only when he continued to stare me down did I speak up, "…should I be?"

"That's exactly my point, you most definitely should be."

"And why is that?" I admit I was being rather rude, but he was annoying me.

Dr. Reid sighed, "Mr. Cullen, you have been snorting heroin still." This wasn't a question but a statement.

"What? No, I—"

"Edward, I'd appreciate it if you did not lie to me at this time. You should be experiencing withdrawal symptoms at this point, that is, if you were discontinuing to use which you most definitely have not." _Damn_.

"Oh," was my brilliant reply. Smart bastard.

So I was sly enough to sneak in some heroin. They just obviously didn't search my bags hard enough. In conclusion of my meeting with the Doctor, my heroin was confiscated and I was now being watched like a hawk. To put it bluntly, I was screwed. I really didn't know how I'd be able to survive. This time, I wasn't being over dramatic; I truly was starting to panic.

The only thing that calmed my nerves a bit was the fact that I had just snorted some heroin in the bathroom before I entered the office, so I knew I was safe for a while. I would last until at least tomorrow, I hoped. I liked to think I wasn't _that_ dependant on the drug.

The rest of the day consisted of small group meetings where we basically talked about our feelings and ways to "overcome our problems to make us upstanding citizens in our communities". Not my words.

At dinner I sat with Alice, Bella, and Jasper, Alice's boyfriend. He was fairly shy and didn't talk much, so you could see why I was secretly ecstatic to have him as a guy friend. Reserved Jasper…or follows-you-around-like-a-lost-dog-until-you-want-to-rip-your-hair-out Mike. Who would you choose? My point exactly.

At dinner, I was now getting medication. I grudgingly took them, though I knew they'd help with the withdrawal. Everyone else at the table seemed to be taking some sort of pill as well.

"What's wrong, Edward?" Bella, across from me, asked softly so only I could hear. Alice and Jasper were having their own conversation.

I at first did not want to tell why I was all of sudden back to my mopey self but strangely, I felt comfortable in confiding with Bella. That was a first.

"Dr. Reid knew I hadn't given up my…drugs," I mumbled.

She nodded in understanding, "It's for the better really, the sooner they think you're safe to rejoin your 'community' the sooner you can leave. But I can see why you'd want to put off the detox, it's almost as unpleasant as shopping with Alice," Bella smiled and winked, making me laugh. "But after that, if you're sly enough you can pretty much fool them into thinking you're clean."

She saw my puzzled face and added as she leaned in, "I hid a stash of cocaine at my house for when I'm allowed to go visit."

I smiled a crooked grin as she blushed. I had to give her credit, she was sneaky.

Soon it was time for the movie but we first had to clear out of the cafeteria so they could move the tables out of the way and bring in the projector and whatnot. You were asked to attend in your pajamas so the girls quickly ran off to change as did Jasper and I, minus the quickly running off part. I got my plaid pajama pants but didn't change my t-shirt. Since apparently it wasn't up to Alice-standards to wear in the daytime I figured I'd christen it a new pajama top.

I met Bella, Jasper, and Alice at the entrance to the cafeteria. My breathing hitched as I saw Bella was dressed in a tank top and a fairly short pair of shorts. She looked beautiful of course, but I could tell Bella looked slightly uncomfortable so I presumed that Alice put her up to it.

Alice wasn't kidding when she said they played lame movies so I wasn't paying too much attention to the screen. Of course, how could I when I was sitting mere inches away from Bella who looked to be engrossed with the movie.

From my peripheral vision, I could see Mike a few rows and seats over looking back at us every few minutes. He was embarrassingly obvious. If he was a spy, he would have been shot by now. _Preferably by me_. Are you sensing the hate vibes yet?

I chuckled quietly to myself as I saw him now glaring at me. I was apparently much more stealthier as he hadn't noticed yet that I noticed he was looking. _Maybe if I'm lucky he'll hate me enough to beat me up and not want to be my friend anymore_. I could only hope.

As the night progressed, I couldn't help but notice how drastically my mood had changed for the better. I liked to think that it was Bella's doing and I smiled, suddenly having a new fondness for this place.

**AN: Bahaha, so yes, enter Mike Newton. I know I know, shocker much? I literally had to force my fingers to type his name but I just thought he should be in there. Why not some comic relief, right? I'm sure he's probably OOC but let's just say… this is druggie Mike Newton…haha, okay, we'll go with that. Now, some of you are probably thinking, "why does annoying Mike Newton get to be in the story and not Emmet and Rosalie?" I know you're thinking this because I had some question if they'd be in it but as of right now…the answer is no, they're not. I have absolutely nothing against them because I love Emmet (and Rosalie…but Emmet more), but I just didn't see how to fit them in and I don't think I'm talented enough to write Emmet dialogue. Let's face it, I'm not that funny, at least not Emmet funny. (Sorry to Argetlamgirl who personally asked this. I realize how much you love Emmet :( )**

**I hope this chapter was okay. Sorry if the Bella/Edward meeting was lame. I have a feeling you readers are going to be having some awkward moments when reading this story in the future, once Bella and Edward get closer, so brace yourselves! I'm not one for being all mushy and romantic…too bad that's what this story is basically about…huh….pointers are welcomed in reviews…**

**Thanks and please review! Also, (I know, when do I shut up, right???) I thought I'd spoil the surprise and say the next chapter is Bella's POV of the events from this story. I figured I'd just alternate each chapter from each POV but if this is too boring and a bad idea please let me know…**

**--blinding-rainbows**


	4. Kidding Ourselves

**AN:**** 'Kidding Ourselves – Stabilo' such a nice song :)**

**Another chapter! I'm on a roll! Here she is, I was kinda sad to be writing Bella's POV… I actually like writing Edward's, haha.**

**I am officially dedicating ****this chapter to Argetlamgirl because she has reviewed every chapter with TOTALLY amazing reviews, especially her last one which was uber long to my liking! And she said I was her hero which automatically makes her my hero : ) thanks for all the support!**

**BPOV**

Today marked three months since I had come to stay at Phoenix Rehabilitation Center (what a mouthful). With any luck, I'd only need to stay three more months and then I'm out of here. Sounds simple enough, right? I knew I really didn't need to still be here, although I haven't really gotten over my drug habit, but deep down there was a part of me that didn't want to leave; I didn't want to leave Alice. She was the first real friend I had ever made so why would I want to separate myself from her?

I thoughts were interrupted by the very person I was just thinking about when Alice walked back into our room.

"Shower's free. Hurry up before Lauren gets in there," Alice told me as she rolled her eyes. I understood what she was saying right away and booked it to the shower. As I made it to the doorway of the bathroom I could see Lauren strutting her way down the corridor. I grinned cheekily to her as she stopped mid-strut, huffed, and turned around. Alice and I always made a point to get a shower in before Lauren took over the bathroom because she spends at least a half an hour in there. I was fairly certain all she does is look at her reflection in there. That's just one girl's opinion.

Clean, fed, and ready to take on the world (okay, not really) we walked to our classroom for another day of Mrs. Williams' thrilling tutoring. A thing I liked about what was being taught here was that it was easy. I wasn't lazy, per say, but when you're trying to kick a drug habit it helps when you don't have to worry about tough schoolwork; more specifically frustrating trigonometry, which I found I hated more and more each day. Thankfully it wasn't _too_ hard here.

"Oh no, Mike's made his entrance…and—" Alice suddenly stopped mid-sentence. I looked up to get a view of her face, only to see a grin was slowly forming on her lips. That's it, I was too afraid to look at Mike.

"Oh god, Alice, what's he doing, did he bring flowers again?" I asked desperately, remembering the last time Mike tried to serenade me. Though, it was anything but that, his idea of winning a girl was quite repulsive to watch.

She still had that freaky grin on her face as she replied, "Nope…"

I definitely wasn't looking now. Ever since Mike arrived at PRC he's had his heart set on me, to my displeasure. He's a nice guy when he wants to be but it's impossible to get past his trait of being utterly _annoying_. I was afraid to spend a second alone with this guy because if I did, I wouldn't doubt that he'd get down on one knee and propose right then and there.

Yet I didn't understand why Mike Newton was so infatuated with me. I was the Plain Jane/Bella of the…millennium. There was nothing more special or different about me than any other girl around me. So, why was Mike so persistent in winning my love? I think that's a mystery that will never be solved.

"Hi Bella!" _Shoot_. I looked up quickly to see Mike turned around in his seat…watching me. Creepy would be an understatement here.

"Hellomike…" my words mushed together. I quickly shot my head back down before Mike got the wrong idea, like I was looking at him because I _wanted_ to.

"Edward! Hey, man!" I heard Mike call. _Edward…?_ _It couldn't be that same person, could it?_ _Don't look, Bella, don't look. Mike could still be there waiting for you to look back at him_. At this scary thought, I continued my focus on the paper in front me, doodling aimlessly.

"Hi! I'm Alice Brandon," I heard Alice introduce herself from my left to the stranger. He hadn't replied yet when I felt a sharp stab to my ribcage, compliments of Alice. I was about to tell her off when I was met with the familiar green orbs that I had the pleasure of looking at yesterday.

"Edward Cullen," the living god introduced.

I caught myself staring and got my mouth to function enough for me to blurt out my name. My traitor cheeks began to burn as I saw he was staring right back at me with the same intensity. I felt like I didn't even deserve to be in the presence of this beautiful boy but here I was, shamelessly watching him like I was to go blind in the next minute. As I blushed more at this thought, a smile formed on Edward's face, which only made me lose my mind more at the site of his perfect white teeth.

I could practically _feel_ Alice bouncing in her seat beside me but I could not tear my eyes away from Edward's, but thankfully Alice broke the slowly forming awkward silence.

"I hear you're new here, Edward, correct?" I knew she didn't _hear_ it, she just had her way of knowing things and never being wrong; it was uncanny.

"Correct," Edward replied.

"Well, welcome! We'd be more than willing to show you around, right Bella?" Alice asked me excitedly. By the look on her face I could tell she had something planned and it honestly got me nervous, knowing what she was capable of.

"Yeah, definitely!" Might as well _pretend_ I'm not scared for my life here. I forced a smile to seal the deal.

"That sounds great," Edward replied as he looked straight into my eyes. Before I could say anything that might convince Edward I wasn't completely unintelligent with my inability to form three words in his presence, Mike decided it was his time to pipe up.

"Hey Bella, tonight's movie night, would you like to go with me?" _NO_ I wanted to scream, however I wasn't that cruel of a person, sadly.

I saw Edward look back at me before I turned to Mike and said, "Sorry Mike, I said I'd sit with Alice and Jasper, right Alice?" _If you deny this, Alice, so help me I will…_

"Right!" Good answer, Alice.

_Just turn around, Mike, please._ I cheered in my mind as he did what I silently asked. _'Atta boy._

"Edward, you can come as well, of course!" Alice said, continuing as if Mike had never even talked to me seconds ago.

They continued to talk but all I could think was _no, no, NO! I don't need another opportunity for me to make a blundering fool of myself. Alice, what are you trying to do to me? Mortify me to death?_ But of course, that would mean more time near Edward…I kept thinking of the pros and cons of this event tonight until I heard Alice mention shopping tomorrow.

"What?! I thought we went _last _weekend?" Okay, I may have said that a bit too loud.

"No silly, last weekend we went to the museum. We haven't gone shopping in two weeks." I would have taken sympathy on her with the look on her face in any other situation but not this time. This was seriously not good; I was in for a long day tomorrow.

"That's right, my apologies, I only endured enough shopping to last me a _lifetime_," I shot back as I vividly remembered the last shopping excursion where I wasn't able to stop trying on clothes until the chaperones had to drag her out of the mall.

I heard Edward chuckle near me and I turned to him. He had no idea how serious I was.

"Oh, you laugh now. You haven't had the pleasure of shopping with Alice Brandon," I said with the most serious face, little did I know that this would plant an idea in Alice's evil mind.

"Ooo! Good idea, Bella! You'll have to join us tomorrow when we go to the mall. Don't worry, Jasper will be there. I can't wait for you to meet him, I know you two will just hit it off," Alice told Edward in a rush.

"You're doomed, Edward," I spoke just above a whisper to him, as I watched Alice formulating her shopping plans. "She has the word 'makeover' written all over her face. Trust me when I tell you that is not an experience you want to go through," and he should trust me. I knew all too well what it felt like to be put through an Alice Brandon Original Makeover. I heard Edward gulp from beside me. Laughing, I turned to the front of the classroom as Mrs. Williams began teaching.

Another day went by monotonously like every other day (with the new exception of Edward sitting by me) and to my surprise and pure relief, I survived the tour of PRC Alice and I gave Edward. I only stumbled twice (not even completely falling) and I don't even think Edward saw either times which I thanked every god in the universe and Snoopy for. Did I mention I'm a klutz?

Sadly, Edward had to leave for a meeting with Dr. Reid (we had the same doctor!) and Alice practically dragged me to our room at the end of the day. I was greeted with a high-pitched squeal, causing me to clamp my hands over my ears.

"I knew it! I knew it, I knew it, I _knew _it!…" Alice sang as she danced around the room. I put my hands on her little shoulders to stop her movements.

"Knew _what_, Alice?" I'd regret asking that.

"That you and Edward are perfect for each other, of course," she stated matter-of-factly.

"_What?_ We just met today! How can you possibly know that? Besides, we are _not_ perfect for each other. Have you looked at Edward? Why would Edward, perfect Edward …like someone like me? The boringest plainest person in the history of boring and plain people. I mean—"

"Bella! Bella, stop! You're beginning to babble. I just know, okay? You know I'm always right. He totally likes you, I can tell. You also weren't witnessing what I was seeing today when we were showing Edward around. You two were _totally_ flirting with each other!" She said as she jumped up and down.

Wait, what? "He was? _I _was?" Even though I couldn't get over the fact that Edward could possibly have been flirting with me today and I wasn't even aware of it, the more shocking bit of news was that I, Isabella Swan, was flirting as well.

"Yes, yes! You shocked me, I was so proud of you today!" she said as she got on the balls of her feet to ruffle my hair.

I swatted her hand away as I stammered, "But-but…I didn't even _realize_ it."

"Well, I didn't say either of you were any good," she joked.

"Ha-ha," I said mechanically. "Wow…I can't believe myself."

"Well, believe it, my little flirt! Hey, it's close to dinner let's go find Jasper…and Edward!" she instructed as she sang Edward's name. She wasn't going to be letting this go anytime soon.

I grunted in reply, too annoyed to speak a word, and we walked to the cafeteria. While we were waiting in line, Jasper found us and Edward followed minutes later. Alice introduced Jasper to Edward and she was right of course, they did seem to be getting along fine. I didn't blame Edward, if it meant getting away from Mike, I'd be best friends with anybody.

All throughout dinner, though, I couldn't help but notice Edward's mood had turned sour.

"What's wrong, Edward?" I asked quietly so no one else could listen in, figuring he'd appreciate it, though I didn't even know if he'd tell me anything. Edward seemed to like his privacy.

I was right to an extent, he seemed to think things over a few seconds before saying anything, "Dr. Reid knew I hadn't given up my…drugs," Edward said so quietly I had to strain my ears to catch it.

So he had snuck some drugs in. Impressive, to say the least, but I knew it was for his own good.

"It's for the better really, the sooner they think you're safe to rejoin your 'community' the sooner you can leave. But I can see why you'd want to put off the detox, it's almost as unpleasant as shopping with Alice," I winked to reassure him I was trying to lighten the atmosphere a tad, which it did, getting a small laugh out of him. "But after that, if you're sly enough you can pretty much fool them into thinking you're clean," I reassured him.

I saw that he wasn't quite clear with what I was saying so I added as I leant in, "I hid a stash of cocaine at my house for when I'm allowed to go visit."

My eyes flickered over to Alice for a nanosecond to see her grinning as she gave me a wink. I could tell she was thinking…_flirt, flirt, flirt_.

I immediately straightened up, sending a glare her way. This is exchange had, to my delight, gone unnoticed by Edward as he seemed to be in thought, smiling slightly.

"Bella! We have to go change for the movie!" Alice gasped out, standing up from the table abruptly.

"Change?" Edward inquired from across the table.

"Yes, everyone always dresses in their pajamas for movie night," telling him as if it was the most obvious fact. "So you go change as well!" Alice gave him and Jasper a small shove to the door as they too stood up and then grabbed my arm, dragging me to our room.

"Put this on!" Alice ordered as she shoved a blue tank top and a _short_ pair of white shorts with black stars on them.

"WHAT? Alice, are you insane? I am _not_ wearing this!" I exclaimed in defiance, as I put my hands on my hips.

She mimicked my position and asked, "And why not?"

"Why not? Because: not only will I look like a slut, but we'll be in the presence of…how many people go here?" I quickly lost my train of thought for second before gathering myself, "Anyway, I'll also look _awful_ in this. Therefore, I am not wearing it." I smiled, knowing I put up a good fight this time.

"Oh, but yes you are," Alice shot back right away. I remained silent so she spoke again, this time with a pout. "Bella, please? Edward will love it," she said with a grin.

I couldn't say anything; I just stood there with my agape.

"Okay how about, I will go easy on you tomorrow when we go to the mall?" she bargained.

I thought this out long and hard. Well, not that long, we didn't have much time, but make no mistake I did think this through.

I figured one night dressed in this skimpy outfit wouldn't be too awful if it meant a less intense time shopping with Alice tomorrow.

"All right," I finally sighed, "but you have to wear something like this as well."

"Okay," she shrugged.

I knew I wouldn't have gotten a reaction out of her but it was worth a shot.

We waited for the boys by the entrance to the cafeteria; all the while I was pulling on the short pair of shorts, trying to get them to go at all lower without pulling them off all together; I just hoped it appeared subtle.

Just like in the cafeteria, Jasper met up with us, Edward finding us minutes later. I noticed Edward looking at me and my…I _guess_ they were pajamas, with some kind of intensity in his eyes. This only made me more nervous and self-conscientious.

I was all too aware of the close proximity with Edward as we sat and watched the movie and Alice realized I knew this, as I couldn't stop fidgeting. Every few minutes she'd have to kick my foot to get me to stop moving.

I resorted in attempting to let the movie capture my full attention but Alice was right, the movies here _were_ really lame. I also couldn't help but notice Edward wasn't watching the movie at all but stealing quick glances at me. My heart soared as I thought that maybe Alice was right once again, maybe Edward did like me!

But as the night progressed I could also tell he was looking to his left as well. I couldn't see who he was looking at but my stomach dropped as I realized it was probably some other girl. _Probably Lauren_, I thought as I scowled. As soon as he started chuckling to himself I was officially lost. Why was he laughing? He couldn't have been laughing at the poor excuse for a movie. What did I do?? Was he laughing at my pajamas? I knew I looked horrible in them! Who was I kidding; Edward most definitely did not like me.

My brain was starting to hurt from all the fretting I was doing so I was grateful when the movie finally ended, me being ready to flee to my room and never come out.

I said a quick good night to Edward as I took Alice from out of Jasper's arms where she was curled up in and hauled her down the corridor.

"That was fun, wasn't it?" Alice laughed with a smile.

I huffed and gave her a glare, even though I knew it was not her fault, and continued my beeline to our room.

Alice didn't take it personally, though; in fact it only made her laugh louder.

_Fine_, I thought, _looks like someone's going to have to put up with Stubborn Bella tomorrow._

**AN:**** There you go! Next chapter is the mall and such. And I'm thinking it's going to be in BPOV, and I'm not going to EPOV this time. We'll just see where this goes.**

**I can't believe I got like 700 hits! And yet 25 reviews hm… I'm not going to be a nudge though, or one of those people who threaten to not post a chapter until they meet their goal of reviews. Just please review; it makes me feel good :)**

**--blinding-rainbows**


	5. My Blue Heaven

**AN: 'My Blue Heaven – Taking Back Sunday'. Love it. Love them. **

**Thank you for the reviews, especially DarkMagic10 who has reviewed faithfully _and_ added me to their C2! Aw shucks : ) **

**Disclaimer: I keep forgetting! I DON'T own Twilight or any of the characters (in case anyone thought I did). **

**BPOV**

I found myself in the all too familiar room. Boisterous laughter filled my ears as I was shoved from all sides by the rowdy partygoers. I knew I wasn't in my right mind as my surroundings began to look double. I scoured the crowd as I searched for the person who did this to me—until I felt someone start poking me in the side. Who would be poking me? I knew no one here. I looked around the best I could in my condition but couldn't find a culprit.

"Bella…" How did they know my name?

"Hmph, Bella!" this mystery person was now shaking me. "Get up, Bella!"

I snapped my eyes open as I identified the voice. Alice. I focused my eyes and there she was; not three inches away from my face, with an excitement apparent in her eyes that I was nervous to know about.

"Ugh Alice! You do realize it's _Saturday_, don't you? You know, one of the two days they actually _let_ us sleep in?" I looked at the alarm clock near my head. _No way_, "8:00am, Alice?! Nope. Go away please," my last sentence was muffled as I laid my head back into the pillow.

"No! Hey!" she gave me another shove as I started to fall asleep again, "don't go back to sleep!" Alice was starting to get annoyed.

"What do you want?" I whined, "We're not leaving for another couple of hours."

"Bella, get up! We have to make you beautiful!" Alice squealed as she stuck her make-up bag in my face that had, up until this point, been hiding behind her back.

I'm fairly certain I paled, "What? _Why_? We're just going to the _mall_," I sneered the last word.

Alice looked at me as if I had personally insulted her but decided to move on to more pressing issues.

"Ah yes," Alice mused, deciding to sound philosophical, "but you are forgetting, my naïve, flirtatious young friend that _Edward_ will be joining us on our little outing!"

_Oh no_.

I shot up from my laying position in the bed and felt my eyes strain from trying to pop out of my head.

"Well, that worked," Alice giggled.

I ignored her gloating over her successful scheme and began nervously pacing.

"Bella, stop that!" I think Alice was bit annoyed that I hadn't said a word yet but honestly, I was afraid all that would come out was a loud squeak.

I sighed, "I'm sorry, Alice, I'm just kinda nervous…? I said, somehow coming out as a question.

"Really? I hadn't noticed," she rolled her eyes with her answer, dripping with heavy sarcasm. Her eyes lit up once again, "No matter! Go! Go shower! Don't worry about clothes, I already picked them out for you—here," shoving clothes into my stomach, "and then when you get back I can do your make-up!" Alice smiled brilliantly, but I could still hear the clear order underneath her peppy attitude. _I swear, when Alice gets out of here, she's either going to be a beautician of some sort or a drill sergeant_.

Deciding to not even put up a fight this time (and also knowing there would be enough bickering during the shopping), I slumped off to take a shower. I noticed Alice had chose to not fully give me a heart attack with her choice of clothes for me; deciding on a pair of jeans (though, looking at the name on the jeans, I knew I did not want to know the price of them), and a simple dark blue v-neck shirt.

On my way back into the room, Alice grabbed me and plunked me down into a chair. I figured I'd be safer if I didn't put up any fight and decided on simply sitting quietly, awaiting my torture.

To my pleasant surprise, Alice did not take as long as I thought she would with my make-up, and when I was finally allowed to look in a mirror, I could hardly tell I was wearing any.

Pleased and hopeful that Alice really would stick to the deal we made yesterday for her to lighten up on the shopping for me today, I said a little too excitedly, "Come on, let's go find Edward and Jasper!" Alice realized my excitement as well.

We found the boys in the common area talking animatedly with one another. I looked over to Alice and I could tell she was happy that they were getting along so well. We knew Jasper enjoyed our company, as did we him; but for a guy, spending all of your time with two girls I'm guessing can get a bit tedious.

Alice and I joined them amongst the quickly growing crowd of other residents. Alice gave Edward a quick greeting and then continued her way into Jasper's arms. All to quickly they had to break apart, as to not draw attention to themselves. It is not encouraged that you find a relationship or even get in close proximity with the opposite sex at good ol' Phoenix Rehabilitation Center. Up until now this rule had not phased me in the slightest, why would it? With Edward's arrival, however, I was now feeling nothing less than irritation towards this annoying obstacle.

The four of us were standing there speaking pleasant small talk when the chaperones began herding us onto the busses like we were irksome, misbehaving sheep.

Fifteen minutes of awkward silence and feeble attempts of conversation with Edward later, we arrived at the hellhole, or as some people like to call it, "the mall".

As soon as we were in the mall, I could see Alice taking in her surroundings, trying to decide which store she wanted to invade first. Of course, she really _didn't_ have a say of where to go or for a how long. That was up to our good friends from PRC. They weren't about to let us just run amuck. Sadly, this only made Alice buy more things and at a quicker pace.

Jasper had to practically hold on to Alice for dear life as we waited to be broken into groups. Luckily, they put the four of us into the same group. The chaperone for us, who was a woman who looked to be in her mid twenties led us to the first store and to our liking, let us run free. She looked deathly bored and I was guessing she wouldn't be too distraught if one of us were to escape. In fact, she began shopping for herself instead of watching us non-stop like she was _supposed_ to. I might just like her.

I turned my appraising eyes away from the slacker that was our chaperone to find Alice already rummaging throughout the racks and racks of clothes here. Jasper was patiently standing a few feet away and Edward was standing farther back with a look on his face that screamed he didn't want to be here. I was about to redeem myself from the completely uncomfortable bus ride over here with him when I was beckoned over by Alice. I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw what was in her tiny arms; a large stack of assorted clothing.

"Already?" I exclaimed, but I was met with a look from Alice that implied 'are you even asking that question?'

"You said you'd go easy on me today," I muttered with venom in my voice as I grudgingly took the mountain of clothing.

"Bella, be fair, we only get to come here every couple of weeks," Alice sighed, annoyed. Sometimes I wondered if she should be in rehab for a shopping addiction but I didn't voice my opinion. I continued to stare down at her, grateful for the slight height advantage I had over Alice, until she spoke again, "Fine! A promise is a promise, I suppose…" I refrained from jumping up and down from the victory of the battle that I just won. My huge smile faded as she took _two_ items of clothing off the pile in my arms.

"…there you go!" Alice grinned cheekily. I resisted the urge to now scream and looked to Jasper who had apparently found the interaction between Alice and I most amusing.

I glared at Alice as I stalked off to the dressing rooms, throwing a quick glare to Jasper as well, Alice's silent-but-deadly accomplice.

"Don't say a word," I muttered.

"Wasn't going to," Jasper replied, now laughing.

My eyes immediately resumed to their normal size as they turned into a look of sympathy when I saw Edward who was looking at nothing in particular on the floor. I was about to console him when I remembered the dead weight in my arms and figured I'd get this painful experience over with quickly.

The first piece of clothing Alice had picked out was, to my annoyance, a dress. Did she _like_ to see me uncomfortable? I threw on the black piece of cloth, not even caring to see how I looked in it. I knew what I'd find and it was nothing to my liking. I slowly walked out of the small room, waiting for Alice's critiquing. However, as I came out I saw that Alice was not standing there waiting impatiently for me like she normal would be. In her place, was none other than Edward himself. _Great, maybe he hasn't seen me yet. Is it too late to run back into the dressing room and die of embarrassment?_

Sadly, it was too late. I looked up towards his face and found his green eyes, wide and staring straight back at me, not saying a word. _Did I look _that_ bad?_

"Bella, you look…"

"Don't say it, I know I look awful, I'm going to go change—"

As I was turning around, Edward grabbed my wrist to stop me.

"No. You look…beautiful," he finally got out with a small smile on his face. My stomach flipped at his compliment, though I knew he was simply polite. Even so, it made me feel invincible at that very second and the fact that I had Edward's approval made me slightly giddy inside.

"Thank you," I managed to whisper. I continued to stare at his eyes, not being able to look away and it seemed Edward was having this problem as well. Not that this _was_ a problem. I would happily stare at him until I passed out from exhaustion if Edward allowed me. At this bold thought, I knew I blushed; I could feel it and I knew Edward noticed it as well.

Thankfully Alice decided now would be a good time to save me from what would have been yet another awkward moment between us. It was definitely starting to become an ugly trend.

Of course, my rescue came in the form of a loud squeal so high pitched I'd reckon it could call dogs.

"_Perfect!_ I knew it would look amazing on you! Turn around," she instructed and I obliged, spinning in a small circle (not tripping, I might add), "Yes, it's a keeper. Go try the next outfit on!" And with that she was gone, back to feverishly looking through rack upon stupid rack of _stupid _clothing.

"Hey," I spun back around to Edward, "what do you say to busting out of here?" he asked in a mock serious tone.

"I'm not so sure the warden will allow that," I played along, nodding towards Alice.

Edward smirked, grabbed my hand (seriously, I just may have died at that point and not even noticed it), and walked over to Alice who was pulling out articles of clothing every few seconds and either giving it to Jasper if she liked or shoving it back onto the rack.

"Hey, Alice, we're going to go for a walk…okay?" he asked lightly.

"Mhm," was all he got in reply from Alice, her full attention on a red blouse she had just pulled out, eyebrows slightly furrowed. Needless to say, I was a little shocked that she hadn't protested; even a look of surprise broke through Edward's confident façade.

"Well, go then, sheesh," Alice all of sudden said. "Bella, I know your sizes—Edward, you look like a…34, correct?" **(AN: I just picked a random #, if I made Edward a fatty or anorexic, I apologize.)**

"Yes," Edward confirmed, astonished.

"Well, okay then, we'll just…go," I said quickly, before Alice came back to her right state of mind.

We both threw an apologetic glance to Jasper who's once smug face was now one of exhaustion, which was understandable seeing as who knows how many pounds of clothing he was carrying at this point.

As we snuck out of the store unseen by the so-called chaperone, it dawned on me; I was alone (well, technically) with Edward Living God Cullen. Let the awkward times begin… now!

However, Edward decided to save us.

"So," he began, "what store do you _really_ want to go to?" He knew too well that I hated being in the store we were just in as much as him.

"Hmm…" I pretended to think, "to the book store!"

Edward laughed at the wide smile that was now plastered to my face. What could I say, I couldn't help it! I was getting the opportunity to shop for something I actually _enjoyed_. Books!

Five books for me and three CDs (we visited a CD store) for Edward later, we were strolling in the middle of the mall past the small carts **(AN: I sat there for like five minutes thinking of a name for those things but this is the best I could come up with…)** of belt buckles and cell phone cases, laughing like we've been friends for years. It amazed me that after some mental encouragement on my part, we had managed to strike up a decent conversation and were able to keep it going.

Oddly enough, we had somehow fallen upon the topic of Mike Newton and his attempts to getting me to fall for him. I had just told Edward the time when Mike had ambushed me in the cafeteria with a huge bouquet of daffodils, professing his love. Mind you, I had only known him for a grand total of four days.

Edward apparently found this hysterically funny.

"He didn't!" He managed to get out, astonished, between fits of laughter.

"Oh, but he did," I said half sadly, for now I was starting to giggle myself. When I thought about it, it was sort of funny; once I got over the sheer embarrassment of the ordeal.

Edward was still laughing quietly when I said, "I wouldn't get to smug there, Mr. Cullen, I couldn't help but notice Mike was pretty taken with you yesterday as well."

It was my turn to laugh as Edward's face paled.

"Yesterday morning was so brutal. You could not imagine the pure happiness I felt when I met you three. I wasn't sure if I was going to have to file a restraining order or call up the pound, he was following me around so much," he confessed as he cracked a smile.

"You may just have to yet…and I might be joining you on that," I joked.

We had now made it to the very large fountain in the middle and Edward sat down on the edge, motioning for me to follow. I hesitated, knowing all too well what this could lead to, basically with me and the fountain personally becoming acquainted with one another, ending in me soaked head to toe.

When I was settled on the _very_ edge of the fountain (I wasn't taking any chances here) Edward turned the conversation onto a more serious topic.

"Bella, how long have you been here," he asked softly. I immediately knew what he was talking about and was at first surprised at his sudden curiosity to this.

"Three months yesterday…but who's counting," I replied, trying to keep the conversation light but I couldn't help but notice Edward's face darkened.

"And how much longer do you think you'll have to stay here?"

"If everything goes right, three months. Six months is the usual 'sentence' for us," I spoke just as softy, though it was hard with the crowd around us. I again noticed Edward's face turned to sadness but couldn't understand why. I also couldn't comprehend why I had the sudden urge to confide in Edward, "But to be honest, there are time where I don't even _want_ to leave. I mean I have my mom here and my dad over in Washington state, but I feel Alice is really my family and I don't know how either of us would cope if I were to leave or vice versa…" I trailed off as I suddenly became somber.

"Why did you come here? You seem like you shouldn't even be going to PRC," I stopped myself from blurting out '_you're too perfect_'. I also regretted asking that question, knowing it was probably too soon to be asking such a personal question; I was basically asking why he was in rehab. Does that seem like something someone would be sharing with an acquaintance? I think not. However, apparently Edward was in the mood to tell me about his personal life because after a minute of silent thinking, he spoke and I was more than happy to listen.

"I…came here for my heroin addiction," Edward said and at that moment raised his arm to scratch the back of his head and that's when I saw it; tiny pin-pricks running all along the main vein in his forearm.

I gasped. _Smooth_.

"What? —Oh," realizing what I was staring at, "I began with a needle when I first started using…" he said, speaking in the same soft manner. I tentatively reached out and gently traced over his vein with two fingers. Why would anyone do this? _Yeah, this coming from the cocaine addict_. "But I soon realized it just wasn't safe and the availability of it was low…" he took a deep breath, I could tell it was hard for him to be talking about this. "So, I started…snorting it. I had no choice, I couldn't just _stop_ at this point, I was in too deep."

Edward looked away, as if ashamed. Me of course, being the great talker that I was, had no idea what to say.

"My friend…well, _ex_-friend, he was the one that got me hooked on heroin and at the time I was grateful because it relieved the pressure being put on me by my school and parents," I was shocked he was sharing so much with me and at the same time ecstatic that he felt so comfortable in sharing this with me. I would have been smiling had it not been for the topic we were discussing.

"What about you?" he spoke again, almost hesitantly.

_Ouch_. That was a sore spot. As much as I surprisingly trusted Edward at this point (and only after what, a day? Weird) I knew I wasn't ready to divulge this story and I think he realized it.

"I'm sorry, I didn't—You don't have to say anything, I understand," he rushed out, pleading with his eyes to forgive him.

"I trust you, Edward, as crazy as that is for only knowing you for such a short amount of time but… I don't think I can talk about that just yet. I've barely told Alice the whole story… I'm sorry," I really was.

"What are you apologizing for? It was wrong of me to ask."

"But I asked the same question."

"Bella, it's fine," a small smile now playing on his lips, but it was gone in a second when I noticed his face turn a light shade of green.

"Edward, are you okay?"

He swayed slightly, "Hm? Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." Well that was reassuring.

"Are you sure? You look…" I couldn't think of a word to describe the nauseous look on his face…and maybe I just didn't want to insult him.

"Bella, I'm…" he grimaced slightly. "Okay, maybe I'm not so good."

"Come on, let's go find Alice and Jasper, we'll be leaving soon, hopefully." _Please just let him get back to the Center_.

He nodded and the fact that he took my hand as we stood up didn't get past me. I scolded myself as I found a smile on my lips in this awful situation.

We found Alice and Jasper in another store, Jasper now carrying at least ten bags. I was pleased that we hadn't even been caught sneaking off!

"Edward! You look horrible!" Well looks like Alice didn't mind insulting him.

"Alice!" I hissed.

"Well, it's true…are you okay?"

He sighed, "No, I feel awful all of a sudden."

Then it hit me, "Edward, you're going through withdrawal…" I could sympathize with him. I still remembered my detox vividly to this day. "I'm sure you'll be fine by…tomorrow," okay, I didn't actually know that but I was trying to make him feel better.

Just then the chaperone announced it was time to leave, to our relief. Alice didn't even put up a huge fuss this time, knowing that Edward really needed to get back.

* * *

I felt the need to walk Edward back to his room when we got back and he didn't seem to protest. When we reached his room, he opened his door and collapsed stomach down onto his bed with a low moan.

"I feel disgusting," he said, his voice muffled by his pillow.

"Um…I'll just go then, if you want," I really didn't want to leave. We had had such a great day and it was awful that it had to end like this.

"No!" he said quickly as he lifted his head up from the bed. I could see his beautiful eyes were now slightly bloodshot…it was an interesting contrast, the green and red—_Bella, you're getting sidetracked_. "I mean, of course you can leave…but I wouldn't mind if you stayed. Though, I won't be much company," he said sadly.

"That's all right. I can be your nurse," I grinned, trying to make him feel better.

"All right, I'm sure you're better than some of the _actual_ nurses here," he laughed, which turned out to be a big mistake as he turned a darker shade of green.

"I'll be right back," he mumbled. I knew exactly what he was gone to do and I tried not to think about it.

He came back a few minutes later looking slightly better, but only just.

"Erm…would you like me to get you a bucket?" I asked quietly.

He thought it over for a second, "if you wouldn't mind," he sighed, laying back on his bed.

"Not at all."

I stayed until I was forced to go back to my room right before curfew, or else face the wrath of Beth the Room Advisor.

I don't know what made me stay to take care of Edward today— oh wait, yes I do…it's _Edward_— but it felt good to do. Though, it was rather awful to watch, he looked so vulnerable when he was sick I just wanted to be able to take it all away from him and put myself through it instead.

At this point, I stopped in the corridor; I realized, I had some strong feelings for Edward brewing and they were more than 'just friends' feelings. I heart dropped, as I knew that even if he _did_ like me (I scoffed at this, knowing it'd be in a million years before he even thought of returning the feelings) that we could never be anything more than just friends in this stupid place anyway. _Though_, I thought, _this rule doesn't seem to be upsetting Jasper and Alice too much…_

I mentally smacked myself on the forehead for even having this debate because I knew Edward would never feel the same for me; though, I wished more than anything that he would.

**AN: So it was a little rushed at the end because I just really wanted to finish and get it posted. My longest chapter yet! Oh my goodness, 4,000 words! I almost cried when my power went out for a minute today and I couldn't remember if I had saved this or not. It was immensely scary.**

**Yeah, it took forever. I was back in school this week and was trying to get all caught up. Does anyone else find math disgusting? Because I sure do…why I ever registered for Math 11Advanced is beyond me. Rant over.**

**I hope you all like it, and please review, of course :)**

**--blinding.rainbows**


	6. Like the Angel

**AN: 'Like the Angel – Rise Against.' Yeah, random, I know. I hadn't listened to them in forever and then my iPod randomly landed on it and parts of the song just kind of seem to fit (at least part of the chorus…). Gah, just go with it. I'm getting lazy with song picking.**

**Thanks for the reviews once again! ALMOST beat Chapter 2 for most amount of reviews…almost. To the anonymous reviewer who said heroin cannot be snorted…it can, I totally looked up, I swear. And yes, I realize you're not supposed to get involved in a relationship in rehab…but what kind of story would it be if they didn't? I'm pretty sure I mentioned it in the last chapter but I guess it wasn't clear. But don't worry; it's not going to be all easy peasy with Edward and Bella… that would just be dull and no one wants that…I sure don't…on with the story!**

**EPOV**

Saying that I was embarrassed to be puking my guts out in front of Bella would be the understatement of the decade, perhaps even longer. I did not know what made me ask her to stay. Actually, that's not true, I didn't want to be parted form her, as pathetic as that sounds for only knowing the person for a day. Secretly, I think it was because I _needed_ her there with me. Her presence alone gave off so much comfort, like an angel. No, not _like_…she _was_ an angel. The moments I felt like I was about to die during the duration of my detox I would simply look at Bella or hear her speak and I would feel extraordinarily better.

I would say that was around the time it hit me; I was in deep. Normally, in any other situation, this would elate me but knowing that Bella and I would be nothing more than friends here brought me back to my now common depressing state. I take back what I said about liking this place more…my original hate towards PRC? It was back.

Bella, to my extreme pleasure, had stayed with me through the majority of it. I didn't quite understand why she took care of me. Of course, I was more than happy but why would she want to spend her time looking at a sick and repulsive me? Personally, that doesn't sound like a way to spend one's weekend; though, I know I'd do it in a heartbeat for Bella.

Withdrawal was an awful experience to go through, to say the least, and had I known that I would have to go through it before I started using, I might have considered not trying heroin in the first place. That didn't mean, however, that I wanted to quit now. No, my need for the drug was stronger than ever at that moment and it felt like I was going to go insane from the yearning.

It was now Tuesday morning and I was currently lying on my back in bed. Sad, maybe, but I was more than nervous to move an inch in the chance my stomach objected. Not that there was much to purge, I had hardly eaten anything in the past three days and my body was starting to realize it.

I _slowly_ moved my legs over the side of the bed to sit up and sat there waiting for any sign of nausea. My spirits automatically lifted when I concluded that I felt good…not _great_…but good. I'd take that. I was just grateful my period of nausea was over. All that remained was a dull ache in my forehead and in my back from laying in bed for so long. I knew that I was basically recuperated and would be able to venture out into the rest of the building today. After three days in my room, I was starting to hate the scenery around me.

Just then a quiet knock came from my door. I stood up, again moving slowly, to answer it. However, I stopped myself at the last second as I looked down to find I was half-naked; that would be a whole new level of embarrassment.

"Just a moment," I attempted to say, my voice still extremely hoarse. I scrounged my closet looking for something decent to wear until I remembered the clothes Alice had bought me on Saturday. Although without my knowledge or approval, I couldn't have been happier for the new clothes from Alice right then. So I might have wanted to impress Bella. Looking through the bags I found a dark green button-up shirt and jeans and decided on them. I had no idea if it looked okay or not but if Alice bought them they must be fine.

I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face as I opened the door to reveal Bella standing in the corridor. A blush immediately formed on her delicate cheeks.

"Hi, Edward," she said quietly. How I loved hearing her say my name.

"Hello," was my genius response.

"Are you feeling any better?" she bit her lip in what I assumed was nervousness, though I couldn't for the better of me understand why she would be nervous.

"Much better," I smiled, then remembering that if it wasn't for her I probably wouldn't be feeling this good at the moment. "Thank you for, you know, um…" Great, now I was the one nervous. I was doing so well, "taking care of me and everything. It means a lot, Bella. Honestly, I don't know how well I'd be right now if it weren't for your excellent nursing skills."

She grinned, most likely at my rambling, "It was nothing. I didn't mind."

"Well, thank you. I just hope it doesn't happen again anytime soon," I laughed, though internally I was dreading the next time I might have to go through that. "Have you had breakfast yet?"

"No, I was just coming to see if you were up to eating anything today," she answered.

"I believe I am. Care to join me in the cafeteria?" I asked nervously.

To my relief, she smiled and nodded.

We walked into the cafeteria to find Alice and Jasper already seated. Alice noticed us right away.

"Edward! How are you feeling?" Alice asked.

"Immensely better, Alice, thank you," I replied.

"We weren't sure you were going to make it!" she joked but I had to agree with her, I did feel like I was going to die not too long ago.

"Neither did I…" I couldn't continue this conversation when I smelled the most glorious smell. Food. "Excuse me," I rushed to the front of the room and loaded a tray up with every type of food there.

When I came back I began not so elegantly shoveling the food into my face.

"Whoa, pace yourself, man," Jasper laughed. I looked over to Alice and Bella who also seemed to be suppressing laughter.

"Sorry," I grinned sheepishly, "I have eaten basically nothing the past few days; I'm starving."

Bella smiled a perfect smile, "It's okay, we understand."

It was back to 'school' today for me to my dislike. One of the good things that had come from being sick was having Mike-free time. Now, it was back to my Mike-filled days. Come back, nausea.

* * *

After a day of tutoring and avoiding Mike, all the while trying to fight back my desperate need for heroin, my day improved that much more with a pleasant visit to Dr. Reid's office. I took that time to add to my growing list of positive things from being sick: a day off from being interrogated by Dr. Reid.

I was sitting down outside of his office for no more than a minute when his door opened showing Bella. I automatically stood up, grinning like a lovesick idiot. _No, not love…that can't possibly be it. It is just good to see my friend, is all._ Yeah, sure.

"Watch out for him today, there's something up with him. He seems too happy," she whispered as she walked by. I nodded my head in acknowledgment even though I was aware that she was already gone.

I walked into his office to find Dr. Reid sitting at his grand desk. I most definitely did not miss the smug look on his face, as I sat down in front of him.

"Edward, it is good to see you again. You're feeling better I take it?" _No, I'm feeling awful but I just missed you too much, _I thought sarcastically.

"Yes, thank you," I replied politely. As much as I could dislike someone, my mother has always taught me to be polite. I was thinking about making an exception today.

He nodded his head in understanding and a short silence followed. Awkward. I knew for a fact that we were not going to get along in the next six months. I wondered if it was too late to request a different doctor…

"That's good to hear. How are you liking it here so far?"

"It's fine, the people have been nothing but nice to me, I've even managed to make a few friends," I figured I'd humour him today and reply with sentences longer than four words. He looked at me again for a second then looked down muttering what sounded like 'I've noticed'. _What?_I shrugged it off.

The meeting continued somewhat along those lines. The doctor asking meaningless questions and myself replying with meaningless answers; at least I hoped they were meaningless.

After the grueling half hour, I speedily made my way out of the confining office to look for Bella, Alice, and Jasper. I found the three in the TV room, Alice and Jasper daringly close to one another on one couch and Bella looking slightly uncomfortable on another. I flopped ungracefully onto the couch Bella was sitting on, with a deep sigh.

"How was your meeting?" she grinned knowingly.

"Please tell me you dislike Dr. Reid as much as I do," I said exasperatedly.

Bella let out a small laugh, "Oh you have no idea. You start to slowly go insane by the second month of meetings. Thankfully, though, after that month you only have to put up with him every other day."

That definitely perked my interest and I sat up straighter, "Seriously?" I asked, not even bothering to hide my excitement.

"Oh, come on, it can't be that bad," Alice put in. I looked at her like she was insane.

"You're kidding me, right?"

"Well no, me and Juliet get along just fine," Alice sniffed.

Once again, I stared at her as if she had some sort of disorder until Bella added stiffly, "Alice and her doctor are on a first name basis." I could tell by the way she spoke that Bella was a bit jealous. _Wait—_

"She has a different doctor?!" I pointed at Alice accusingly who stuck her tongue out at me.

"Why yes Edward, I do. So does Jasper here," she said innocently, poking Jasper in the chest who also grinned. "Is something the matter?"

"No," I narrowed my eyes at her, not about to let Alice get satisfaction out of my jealousy.

"Don't worry, Dr. Reid bothers me as well," Bella patted my hand. _…I believe she just successfully stopped my heart._ "He comes off rather arrogant, don't you think?" she continued as if she _didn't_ just put me into cardiac arrest.

"Most definitely…I want a different doctor," I mumbled the last part, coming out more as a whine.

"Believe me, I tried and I was unsuccessful. You're stuck with him. He does have your best interest in heart though, Edward, he's really just trying to help…however annoying he goes about doing it," Bella added.

I found myself once again unashamedly staring at Bella as she mumbled profanities about the doctor. She was just overwhelmingly beautiful in every way. I was caught staring when she turned to me with a blush crawling up her neck. Our eyes once again seemed to be locked with one another's.

"Ahem," Alice cleared her throat. Both of our eyes snapped to the little form with her hands on her hips in front of us.

"Yes?" Bella asked nonchalantly.

Alice rolled her eyes, though a smirk was playing on her lips.

"We're going to dinner. Are you two coming or would you like us to leave you so you can continue staring at each other all evening?" she asked bluntly. It was my turn to blush.

I cleared my throat nervously, "No no, we're—we're coming," I stuttered. _What is wrong with me?_ I stood up quickly and headed to the cafeteria, Jasper following me.

"I am so glad you came, you're definitely making things here more amusing," he laughed.

I growled lightly, "Shut it." This did not come across as threatening to Jasper like I had hoped. I sighed and continued walking as Alice skipped in front of us, Bella joining me on my other side. She looked just as embarrassed as I was. _Good_, I thought, _at least I'm not the only one._

**AN: …I don't even know about this chapter…I guess you can say it was a filler? Of some sort? Well, I had to follow up on Edward getting all sick. But yes, I realize it was probably utterly boring. I'll make the next chapter better, I promise (and much longer; I know this chapter was uber short). Am I particularly happy with this chapter? No, not really but I wouldn't post it if I thought it was downright awful. At least I hope it's not.**

**I hope to have the next chapter up within the week…though I haven't started writing yet. It'll probably be next weekend, but you never know. Sadly, I must go work on my French project. Hmph.**

**Thanks and review maybe?**


	7. 12:59 Lullaby

**AN: '12:59 Lullaby – Bedouin Soundclash'. Maybe not the most obvious choice…but _lullaby_…see the connection? The point, it's a pretty song in my opinion :) I strongly love Bedouin Soundclash.**

**Wow. I was shocked that the last chapter got as many reviews as it did…seeing as it wasn't too entertaining. But hey, who's complaining? Definitely not me, keep the reviews comin', please!**

**BPOV**

By the end of the week, I was fit to burst. You would too if you were spending most of your time with a godlike creature such as Edward. Needless to say, I was about three times clumsier since Edward's arrival then I had ever been in my lifelong battle with the floor.

Edward slowly recovered throughout the week. I took pride in knowing I had helped him through his withdrawal and also to the fact that he seemed content with me being there to keep him company. I certainly enjoyed it.

We had grown to be close friends, even in the short amount of time, which saddened me in a way. I wondered if this would be another person I'd be upset about leaving behind, though I knew the answer. I had been here the longest and would be leaving before Alice, Jasper, and obviously Edward. Every time I thought of this I would quickly shake it from my head. Who said Edward and I would even still be friends in three months time? Edward could come to his senses any day now and realize I was devastatingly boring. But until that day came, I was going to take this heavenly opportunity to be with Edward and run with it.

I had uncovered much about him these past few days, especially the days where he was for lack of a better word, incapacitated. Edward amazingly shared a great deal with me as I sat keeping him company. I'm not even certain he was aware he was revealing so much; he was rather delirious which is to be expected with detox. I shared a fair amount about myself with Edward as well, though not as much. I was still having that difficulty of opening up to people. To be honest, I was beginning to wonder why I was having this issue with Edward. I felt I could tell him anything and he would understand; it was just a matter of going about doing that now. But we found we had much in common including tastes in books and in music to subjects in school.

I had even discovered he plays the piano. Though, Edward had not told me this bit of information, I had stumbled (and I do mean in the literal sense) upon a few music sheets in his room. Some of the charts held notes that had been drawn in pencil so I could only assume Edward wrote some of his own music. Ever since then I had yearned to hear him play and I knew that he was oblivious to the fact that we indeed had a piano at PRC. I would have thought that he'd find it by now but I presumed he wasn't too excited to go exploring in this place. I supposed it was Edward's bad luck that he had to leave for his meeting that Friday when Alice and I gave him his tour, otherwise we would show him the room. Had I known then that he played the piano, I surely would have informed him earlier.

Which brings us to the reason I was now dragging Edward down a corridor on the top floor of the building.

"Bella, _please_, would you tell me where you are kidnapping me to?" Edward said in a frustrated tone. I had refused to tell him of our destination, as I was stuck on wanting it to be a surprise.

"Calm down, we're here!" Without warning I spun around, blocking the door, causing Edward to almost crash into me. I giggled as I looked up at his face. Edward was trying to pull off a look of irritation but I could clearly see the excitement in his dazzling green eyes.

"Okay," dragging it out, resulting in an eye roll from Edward. I slowly opened the door, keeping my eyes on his to see his reaction.

I wasn't let down when Edward had scanned the room and finally landed his eyes on the piano. His first reaction was one of awe, his mouth agape. I could see him processing this in his mind and as he finally returned to his state of thinking his entire face lit up, a brilliant smile dawning his face.

"Bella," Edward breathed out. "Thank you. I had no idea this was here."

I laughed, "Why are you thanking me? I'm not the one who bought it or anything."

He didn't reply as he had now finally made his way over to the instrument.

"How did you know?"

"I saw a few sheets of music in your room last weekend," I replied shyly, all of a sudden wondering if Edward had wanted to keep his ability to play the piano a secret for some reason.

He nodded slowly.

Edward sat down on the bench gingerly, still looking it over as if it _wasn't_ some old, scratched up hunk of junk. It really had seen better days but Edward obviously didn't care too much about its looks.

The room quickly filled with a beautiful noise as I watched the beautiful _person_ stroke the ivory keys in the gentlest manor. The two components combined made for a very beautiful site.

Edward beckoned me over from my position by the door with a nod of his head, never pausing the music. I sat down beside him on the small bench at a safe distance. Knowing me I'd trip on air and somehow break the flimsy piano.

The song changed and to my surprise, it was to a song I all too well recognized.

"Claire de Lune?" I blurted out. I immediately smacked myself mentally as I hoped that I hadn't ruined his beautiful trance-like state.

However, Edward seemed to also have the ability to keep a conversation whilst playing, however small it was.

"You know Debussy?"

"Only my favourites," I smiled, keeping it short as well. My mother went through many phases as I grew up and her classical musical period had to be my favourite. Edward grinned and focused his attention back on the piece.

The enchanting song ended but soon enough another song filled my ears, though Edward seemed a bit hesitant to be playing it. I had little time to ponder this when I was stunned by the magnificence of this new piece. I had thought the last piece could not be topped but _this _song had to be the most gorgeous noise I had ever heard. _Besides Edward's voice, _I thought afterwards.

I watched his face as he played, astounded at the amount of tranquility and peacefulness portrayed on his face. He looked to be in his own world, probably rid of all hardships including his addiction. I too found myself at ease as I listened more intently to the song, forgetting even where I was.

The song wasn't that long and all too soon it ended when Edward struck the last chord, resting his hands in his lap.

"Edward," I barely managed to get out, "that was…that song, it was amazing. Who is the composer?"

"I wrote it," he whispered, looking down. My mouth formed a small 'o', too shocked to even try and speak. I knew he wrote his own music and knew he was probably very good but never would I have guessed he was this amazing.

"What was that?" I asked, as I heard him mumble an incoherent sentence afterwards.

He cleared his throat nervously, "It's about you," Edward stated quietly, his eyes darted to mine then back to his lap.

_Me?_ I was the inspiration for this brilliant piece of music? Once again, I was speechless. Edward took the silence for the worst, most likely thinking I hated it, which was the complete _opposite_ of what I truly thought. His face now looked pained.

I touched my palm to the side of his face, gently urging him to look at me.

"Thank you," was all I could say, hoping my eyes could convey all that I wanted to say as they started to water. No one had ever done something like this for me before. It certainly caught me off guard, to say the least.

Edward brought his hand onto mine that was still stationed on his cheek.

"Why are you thanking me? a smile tugging at his lips. He leaned in, his face becoming serious again, "Bella—"

"There you two…are," Alice barged into the room, ruining our moment. She was rather good at it, I was wondering if she had picked it up as a hobby. "Oh. I'm so, _so_ sorry—Jasper, don't come in here—I'll leave," she rushed out, shoving a bewildered Jasper from the entrance.

My face had surely turned scarlet and I didn't even try to hide my disappointment. If only she hadn't have come in! My mind buzzed at that second, thinking of what could have proceeded. Edward's eyes were back to staring at anything but myself, seeming to struggle with something.

I gracelessly stood up, wanting to leave the room before it became any more awkward between us then it already had.

"Wait! Bella," Edward grabbed my wrist, plunking me back down onto the piano bench.

Edward, all of a sudden wearing a look of determination, took my face in his hands and pressed his lips to mine. I must have died of fifty heart attacks; my heart was beating so rapidly. Surely he heard it.

It was the gentlest of kisses, as his lips moved with mine. I didn't miss the strange current running between us at where we were attached. It was as if we were both being charged by some mysterious electricity source. It didn't hurt or anything, it felt _right. _

My hands, on their own accord, tangled themselves in his soft hair while his arms wrapped around my back, bringing me closer to him. Oh, how I was glad Edward hadn't let Alice's intruding stop what I now knew _both _of us wanted to do.

We both pulled away breathing heavily. We sat there for a minute, not saying anything, after we had steadied our breathing. I stood up for the second time, afraid of what I would do if I stayed in the close proximity with Edward, something very uncharacteristic of me no doubt. At that moment I had this newfound confidence. I couldn't believe that this perfect, wonderful person had wanted to and _did _just kiss me. I was getting lightheaded.

"We should—we should go see what Alice wanted," okay so the confidence had been lost. That didn't last very long.

"Yeah," he breathed, getting up himself.

We left what was now my favourite room of the building in comfortable silence, each in our own thoughts. Of course, I began to worry. Leaving myself with my thoughts was quite a dangerous thing.

Where would this leave us? Would this make things completely awkward between us? No! We were doing so well! I inwardly sighed, embarrassed at my mental fretting. _Do I regret it?_ Definitely not. _So what's the problem?_ Wait. What if Edward regretted it? This brought on a whole new wave of uneasiness, though I knew I was being ridiculous.

I snuck a peek at Edward through my hair and noticed his brow was slightly furrowed. Maybe he did regret it. Or could he be having the same internal struggle as me?

We guessed Alice and Jasper were in the common area, no doubt watching TV or something or other. Sure enough, when we walked in there they were looking innocent as anything, especially Alice.

Edward and I sat down on the other couch, keeping a slight distance between us.

"Well," I started, cutting to the chase.

Alice looked over at me, pretending she hadn't noticed us come in until now. The faker.

"Well what?"

"Did you need something?" I asked, trying to hide my irritation but failing. I didn't even know why I was irked by Alice. She really hadn't ruined it completely but it may have saved some embarrassment.

Alice gave me a sheepish grin, "Well, we wanted to—"

Jasper cleared his throat and gave her a look.

"Fine, _I_ wanted to tell you that…" she was caving under my stare, "that movie night will be starting soon…it's Friday…" she ended quietly. That was it?

I burst out giggling at the look on her face, as if she was nervous of my reaction. The atmosphere had gone on being serious for too long.

I rolled my eyes, "Come on."

Her face perked up, knowing we were going to our room to change. I couldn't help but laugh at her sudden mood changes. She certainly couldn't last being depressed for too long, she was always happy; which is why it was so odd for Alice to be in a place like this. I hadn't known her before she came here but I had had a difficult time at first understanding why she had been committed here. Why would such a chirper happy-go-lucky girl need to be in rehab? That was until she showed me her scars. All thoughts of doubt left my mind. How anyone could guiltlessly beat little Alice was beyond me. The fact that it had led to her trying to take her own life made my blood boil. I think her dark past was what kept Alice striving to be optimistic and cheerful, though sometimes a little _too_ happy.

That's what made Alice and Jasper such a perfect match. Jasper was the only one that I knew who could really calm Alice down in one of her hyper states. A simple touch like a hand on her shoulder would immediately sedate her. While Alice's upbeat personality balanced Jasper's reserved, quiet manor.

From what Jasper had told us, he technically didn't have a reason to be here. Before coming to PRC, he had been having a bad case of insomnia and tried sleeping pills to fix the problem. He started to need higher dosages and one night took one too many (or maybe two). Luckily his sister had found him before it was too late. Naturally, they automatically assumed he had tried to kill himself and so, was shipped here. That seemed a bit unfair to me. Personally, I think I would go mad, knowing I was being kept here for something that was a complete accident!

It didn't seem to phase Jasper, however, and why would it? He had met the girl who I was fairly positive would end up marrying him one day. I just knew it, and I think Alice knew it as well.

"Oh my _goodness_, Bella!" Alice exclaimed as soon as we'd made it back to our room. "Tell me everything! I didn't know Edward could play the piano! Is he any good? Did you two kiss? You looked pretty close to one another. Again, I'm really sorry for barging in like that but I really didn't think I'd find you about to do…that! No offense. Well?!" she got out in one breath, on the verge of bouncing.

"Alice, _please_," I said, trying to think of even one question she just asked amongst her huge tirade of words. "Well, yes he plays the piano." Good, stay on that topic, it's safe.

"And?"

"And what?"

She let out a heavy sigh and lifted her head to the ceiling. "Jeeze, Bella, this is like pulling teeth. Come on! Details, I need details!"

"What? No! I'm not going to 'kiss and tell', if that's what you're asking."

"So he _did_ kiss you! This is so exciting!"

"He wrote me a song," I said quietly, a small smile playing on my lips.

Alice stood there, in what I hoped was awe. She mumbled something that sounded like 'that is so romantic…'

I continued talking before Alice could get too carried away. Knowing her, she'd probably start discussing wedding colour schemes.

I told her briefly how Edward had been overjoyed to know that there was a piano here (lucky for him no one really played it, so it was basically his) and then the event that occurred after Alice left.

I put my foot down when Alice tried to dress me in another pair of pajamas similar to last movie night's. No, this time at movie night I was going to be _comfortable_ and that would involve me believing I'm actually wearing clothes. Though, I did catch myself wondering if Edward had liked my pajamas last Friday. _Great, let the 'what if' questions begin._

Tonight would once again be a nerve-wracking evening, as I'm sure tomorrow…and the next day and the next would be.

**AN: Well there you go… a bit longer this time, eh? Yes, real original with the piano and whatnot but oh well. Had to cheer Edward up a bit, didn't I? He was missing his piano. And they are both quite awkward and unsure of much in this story (not to mention they're both drug addicts)…that's why they didn't really say anything afterwards… at least that's what I'm going with. And seeing as I'm not the intense lovey person in real life (I'm telling you, I have no life) don't be expecting intense over the top romance in this story (it certainly isn't going to be rated M, if you know what I mean). Though, I'm going to try my hardest for the sake of Edward and Bella :) and for the sake of my readers who I'm sure would be disappointed. Anyway, review please and tell me if it was absurdly awkward and if you have any pointers for future chapters!**


	8. I Can Feel It

**AN: 'I Can Feel It – Lights Out Dancing'. So I read BookMe's new ff and then listened to the song she based the story on. Let me just say I fell in LOVE with the song. I've listened to it non-stop to the max. I HIGHLY recommend this song if you know what's good for you :)**

**We have reached 100 reviews! I love you all! Quite exciting. So are you saying that all I needed to do was get Bella and Edward to kiss to get so many reviews? Jeepers, haha. Since some people wanted last chapter in Edward's POV…voila! See? I like to make my readers happy, even though I wasn't going to write his POV for this, I'm doing it anyway! Hope it's good!**

**EPOV**

"Bella, _please_, would you tell me where you are kidnapping me to?" Bella had resembled Alice all day and it was finally starting to get to me. What was she so excited about?

"Calm down, we're here!" _Finally_. Bella abruptly stopped in front of me, turning around. Her doe eyes stunned me, filled with so much happiness. This only made me more anxious to know what was behind this mysterious door.

_Come on, come on, come on__**, **_I thought.

"Okay," she said slowly.

She opened the door and for the second time in a matter of seconds, I was stunned. I looked around the room left to right, at first not seeing the greatness to this room, until I saw it. A piano. I stopped myself from jumping up and down for joy in front of Bella, knowing it would look ridiculous. However, I could feel the ridiculously goofy grin shoving its way onto my face.

_Bella._

"Bella," I said, breathlessly. "Thank you. I had no idea this was here."

I heard her beautiful wind chime laugh from my right, I hadn't taken my eyes away from the piano.

"Why are you thanking me? I'm not the one who bought it or anything." Oh contraire, it felt like she had given me the greatest gift in the world.

I walked over to the piano, needing to play it. My parting from the piano had been almost as painful as the drug withdrawal. One thought came to mind first.

"How did you know?"

"I saw a few sheets of music in your room last weekend," Bella said quietly. That brought me back to my detox; the three worst days of my life but also three of the greatest days with Bella there. We were now close friends, which made me burst with excitement inside, knowing we had shared so much with each other. The only topic Bella seemed to shy away from was her reason for being here. I knew it was personal but we had confided in each other with almost everything else that I thought she would feel comfortable with sharing that. She seemed to dance around the subject so I was not going to push her to say anything. I was hoping she would tell me in time.

I nodded to reply absentmindedly.

Sitting down on the piano bench, I took in the piano. Sure, I had a piano in better condition waiting for me at home but other than the scratched up wood, this piano was fine. As long as it had an okay sound I would be content.

And to my luck, it was in tune! I began playing a piece I wrote for mother, Esme. Oh, how I'd missed the feel of the keys under my fingertips. I quickly remembered that Bella was in the room. I don't know where I got the courage, but I silently asked her to join me on the bench. I couldn't help but be disappointed when I noticed she sat as far away from me as possible.

I switched to a composition by one of my favourite composers. I couldn't stop playing, I was making up for lost time.

"Claire de Lune?" To my great surprise, Bella knew the song.

"You know Debussy?" Hopefully masking my shock.

"Only my favourites," she replied sheepishly. I was elated she loved this song, as it was one of my favourite songs as well. I didn't bother stopping the grin appearing on my face.

I hesitated for a moment on my next song. It was the song I had been formulating in my head since I had met Bella; there was no doubt she was the inspiration. Would she like it though? God, I hoped so.

For the time being, I simply concentrated on the notes and _not_ on the beautiful girl beside me. A week was really too long to go without playing the piano, I learned. It was my means of escape. I would begin playing and all of my worries would disappear.

I played what I had written so far but it was too short; I was dreading the end where I'd have to face Bella's reaction. The song ended and I was left sitting there waiting for her to speak, if she was even going to speak.

"Edward," Bella finally spoke, "that was…that song, it was amazing. Who is the composer?"

_She liked it?_

"I wrote it," I said quietly. What would she think of me writing a song using her as inspiration? Would she find it creepy? I couldn't look her in the eyes as I added even quieter, "it's about you." Might as well be truthful.

"What was that?" Maybe I was a little too quiet.

In a vain attempt, I cleared my throat to try and sound less nervous, "It's about you." Bella said nothing at this. _Oh god, she _completely_ hates it! I shouldn't have played it. She'll probably think I'm some deranged stalker now._

I pretended I was all of a sudden immensely interested with a tear in the knee of my jeans, avoiding the inevitable.

I felt a hand on my cheek, knowing it was Bella's, trying to get me to turn my head. I apprehensively looked at Bella and was once again rendered speechless. I knew I had to tell her how I felt; I couldn't just keep going on like this. To hell with the rules here.

"Thank you," she whispered. She appeared to be fighting back tears, for what reason I did not know.

"Why are you thanking me?" I said lightly but composed myself again. _This is it_. "Bella—"

"There you two…are," _Why?!_ From my peripheral vision I could see Alice quickly enter the room but stop short most likely from seeing how close Bella and I were. "Oh. I'm so, _so_ sorry—Jasper, don't come in here—I'll leave," she spoke quickly, dashing out of the room.

Well, there went the perfect opportunity to tell Bella how much I liked her.

Then again, maybe it didn't. It was now or never, really. Who knows when I'd be able to build up the courage again? Bella abruptly stood up and I reached out, not about to let this moment go.

"Wait! Bella," I sat her back on the piano bench, perhaps a bit too roughly. I took a second to think things over but then realized this really wasn't the time to be analyzing every possible outcome. My lips quickly shut my mind up when they found Bella's. How I had gone from simply wanting to confess to Bella my feelings for her to outright kissing her was beyond me.

At first I was completely ashamed with myself. I had kissed Bella without even her consent. Though, she certainly didn't have any intentions of stopping…which was fine by me.

I felt her hands move to the back of my neck as my arms wound around her back, needing her to be closer to me.

What felt like static electricity coursed from myself to Bella and back again. It was the oddest feeling but at the same time it felt natural. I wondered if Bella was feeling this as we kissed as well.

The kiss ended too soon for my liking but alas, we are only human and so we indeed need oxygen remain conscious. After we had regained ourselves Bella stood up to leave.

"We should—we should go see what Alice wanted," she suggested.

"Yeah," I agreed, in what I hoped was a composed manner. I'm not going to lie, I wanted nothing more than to lock the door to the room from nosey Alice's and continue kissing Bella senseless.

We silently walked through the corridors to the common area looking for Alice and Jasper; all the while I mulled things over. Of course, I worried over where this would leave us. I prayed it wouldn't be awkward between us and hoped at the same time that Bella and I could somehow be more than friends in this place.

"Well," I was snapped back to reality by Bella's voice from beside me. I quickly looked around and noticed we were now sitting, having found Jasper and Alice; I hadn't even realized.

"Well what?" Alice inquired, feigning innocence.

"Did you need something?" Bella shot back.

"Well, we wanted to—" Alice began but after an annoyed glance from Jasper she altered her answer. "Fine, _I_ wanted to tell you that…" she paused, "that movie night will be starting soon…it's Friday…" I looked between the two of them; not understanding what was with the odd looks on the pair of them.

I was even more confused when Bella all of the sudden began uncontrollably giggling.

"Come on," Bella said as she stood up. These two simple words for whatever reason seemed to elate Alice as she quickly jumped up from beside Jasper and skipped off after Bella. I looked over to Jasper, still confused, who simply rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to the television; or so I thought.

"So I couldn't help noticing you and Bella today upstairs," he trailed off stating the obvious, the corners of his lips curling upwards. He had seen us? I hadn't taken my eyes off Bella. I didn't even look at Alice, I only heard her.

"I don't know what you're talking about," for some reason deciding to play dumb.

Jasper scoffed, "Uh huh. Dude, I can practically _feel_ the love rolling off you. Surely you can't love an old _piano_ that much."

I sat there stunned. Was I that obvious? Well, I wouldn't go so far as using the word love…would I?

I opened my mouth to retort but shut it again, not knowing anything to say to object. So Jasper knew; I was okay with that. I could trust him.

"Well, I for one am glad. Bella has been a lot happier this past week after meeting you."

"Really?" I grinned foolishly. Had I really been able to make her happy?

Jasper laughed while nodding and stood up.

"I guess we should go change. As Alice said, it's movie night. You do not want to be on the receiving end of Alice's wrath when kept waiting," Jasper said seriously, though I could see the love in his eyes as he spoke of her.

I grimaced at the thought of sitting through another dull movie but the thought of Bella being there automatically lifted my spirits.

Like last Friday evening, the four of us met at the entrance to the cafeteria. Honestly, I had no idea what to do or say to Bella after this afternoon's events but Bella simply smiled and walked with me into the cafeteria.

I sat there either debating on what to do (Could I hold her hand? Would she want me to?) or my new favourite hobby, glaring at Mike. Once again he was staring at Bella, lust clear in his eyes. That made up my mind for me. I took Bella's hand in mine; clearing showing Mike that she was unattainable. In reality, however, she was the opposite. We may have kissed but would she go out with me? All of this thinking was causing my head to feel on the verge of exploding.

Bella looked to our hands and blushed. To my delight, she didn't pull away. I earned a nice hate filled glare from Mike afterwards, which only made me even more excited. Maybe now he'd stop following me around like a lost puppy.

By the end of the movie I was actually sad it was over, as it meant that my time with Bella was up for the night. We left with the rest of the residents out of the cafeteria. I daringly kissed Bella on the cheek as we went our separate ways to our rooms, grudgingly releasing her hand from mine.

It must have showed on my face how saddened I was at the lost presence of Bella because I could hear Jasper chuckling and shaking his head from beside me.

Now who was the lost puppy?

* * *

The following morning I didn't even get a chance to see Bella. No, in her place I got my favourite doctor…

My favourite doctor who kept me waiting.

The more I stared at the bland mint green walls of Dr. Reid's office the more they made me want to vomit. I soon realized that it wasn't the walls causing this but my ever-persistent urge for… that drug. I couldn't believe it had been _seven_ long days since my last hit and it was catching up to me, more so today. However, I was going to stick with the doctor's gross green walls theory just to give me another reason to dislike him.

"Sorry I am late, Edward," Dr. Reid apologized as he burst into the room. "One of our new patients was acting up."

"Mhm." _Get to the point of why I was woken up so early on a Saturday!_

"Well, Edward," he began as he sat down in his creaky chair, "I have certainly noticed you have made excellent progress just in this past week." _Thanks to Bella,_ I thought. She had been my momentum.

"So I see it only fit that you get to visit your parents today."

Okay, _that_ got my attention.

I sat up from my slouched position, "Seriously?"

He smiled and nodded, "Yes. I have notified them and your parents will be here to pick you up at 4:30 and you are to be returned here no later than 8:30."

"Thank you," I didn't care that I had just said something pleasant to him; I would get to see my parents today.

But that's all he was getting from me as I quickly left the office.

I rushed to the cafeteria for breakfast hoping Bella, Jasper, and Alice would be there. Yes, Dr. Reid had called me in _before_ breakfast. Ridiculous.

"What's got you so happy?" Bella asked as I finally found the three of them in the crowd of the cafeteria. It took me a moment to respond. Bella and I hadn't spoken much since yesterday afternoon and I was glad to see Bella wasn't totally uncomfortable around me now. I wondered, however, if we'd ever talk about it.

"I get to visit my parents today!" I smiled, probably sounding like a little child.

Bella gasped and pulled me into a hug, "Oh my gosh, that's great! I'm so proud of you! He must think you're getting along great because he doesn't usually let patients out to visit family so soon."

I was stunned for a second. Why had he done this? He couldn't actually believe I was doing that great here… I shrugged it off. All I cared about was that I'd get to see my parents today. You never really appreciate your parents until you are drastically ripped away from them.

They weren't taking us anywhere today like I had been hoping for. I needed to get out of the building to take my mind off the burning I was feeling in my veins from lack of heroin. I knew it had seemed too easy. I had actually started to believe I could leave soon. That was certainly not the case as of now.

* * *

Finally 4:30 came and I was sitting in the lobby waiting impatiently for my parents.

My welcoming? A chokehold in the form of a hug that could surely bend steel.

"We missed you so much! How have you been holding up?" Esme rushed out in one breath.

"I'm fine, mom," I told her, though I know she wouldn't believe me and I was right.

She waved my reply off, "Look at you! There's hardly anything to you!" she held me an arm's length away, looking me over with worrisome eyes. What she said was true, though; I had lost a bit of weight that I hoped didn't make me look too sickly thin.

"It's good to see you, dad," I quickly said, turning to Carlisle in hopes that Esme wouldn't get another chance to critique my appearance.

"You too, Edward," Ah, that's how I liked it, short and sweet from my father. We didn't need words to express how much we cared for each other. A simple nod of the head would subdue.

I felt restless the whole car ride home and throughout dinner. After Esme had spent so much time on her elaborate meal I couldn't even enjoy it. My mind was somewhere entirely different.

My nerves were calmed for a while when I went to the garage to find my Volvo. How I had missed it. If only I was allowed to drive it but I'm sure they would be afraid I'd make a break for it but honestly, where would I go? I continued sitting in the driver's seat of my car, trying to think of anything to fight that urge for what I needed.

An imaginary light bulb went off in my head and I immediately felt stupid for not thinking of it sooner.

I booked it up to my room, ignoring the suspicious looks from my parents, and whipped out my cell phone.

It rang three times before they answered in a nervous tone.

"Hello…?"

"Tyler! Hey man," I greeted, taking all the effort I had to seem friendly. Although I'm sure I sounded psychotic with my rushed words. I needed heroin. Bad.

"Edward! What a surprise…I thought you were in—"

"I am," I gritted out. I didn't even want to know how he had found out. I had told no one of rehab, deciding on the lie of moving out of state.

"Oh."

I sighed, exasperated, "Whatever. Listen, _please_ tell me you've got a hit for me."

There was a short pause.

"Sorry Edward, I don't."

"What?! What do you mean, you don't? You're lying," I was almost in hysterics now and I was desperate. It had been too long.

"Man, I'm not dealing anymore," Tyler stated bluntly.

I was now pacing my room in front of my black leather couch, practically ripping my hair out. Why was he lying to me? I was done acting polite.

"Tyler, I unfortunately know you and I know as well that you would _not_ just give up your little 'profession' over night," I growled.

When I was met with silence I continued,

"Why are you lying to me?" I half-shouted.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about, Edward. I'm sorry I can't help you, really I am."

"Come on, Tyler, please. I don't know what's up with you but I need this. Name your price. Anything, it's yours," I had resorted to begging, how shameful.

Again, there was an awkward silence until he spoke again,

"I'm sorry. I hope you get better in rehab," Tyler rushed out and with that he hung up.

I stood there, shocked. My one source for drugs had cut me off. _Why_, I didn't know. He was always a sketchy person but at least this way I'd never have to see him again.

And yet, here I was having an internal battle against the one thing I truly needed at this point.

How was I going to possibly survive the following months?

Needing to get my mind off of the subject, I walked back downstairs to my piano. Yet another object I had missed. Sure the piano at PRC sustained me but it couldn't even compare to the one I had. It was simply beautiful.

Subconsciously, my fingers began to move to a lullaby. _Bella's _lullaby. When I really sat and thought about it, it astounded me how much I realized I missed Bella even though I had seen her not hours before. What would she think of me? Practically bargaining everything I had for a snort of heroin. I couldn't bare it as I imagined Bella's ashamed face, turned away in disgust. Maybe I did need rehab more than I thought…and not just for the drug problem.

**AN: SO sorry for the wait…truly, I am. Blame the school board and their persistent homework, not me okay? :D seriously, I go back to having English this Monday and I am NOT looking forward to it. I actually love English but my teacher is a hard-ass. Really, you should be pitying right about now because I have no clue how I'll be able to update with the tons of homework he dishes out; not even exaggerating. Anyway, enough of my whining. I hope the longness of this chapter made up for my absurd long absence. Again, I apologize.**

**Review please? I still can't believe how many I got last chapter! I'm happy.**


	9. My Heart

**AN: 'My Heart - Paramore'. Just go with it. All the songs I wanted to use were better for Edward so here we are.**

**Look, look! Another chapter! I thought I'd go back to Bella's perspective… though to be honest I didn't really want to… maybe if I write another story (ha!) it'll be all in Edward's point of view! That would be a party.**

**BPOV**

Another week passed. It had been two and a half weeks since Edward arrived. One and a half weeks since that Friday we shared that amazing kiss (look, I can keep track of time). Things were…for lack of a better word, _weird_ between Edward and I. We had not spoken about our intense kissing in the piano room or where we stood with each other. Though every once and a while I would find Edward reach out and take my hand in his or even be so bold as to kiss me on the cheek.

These acts of pleasantries were all well and fine but I wanted nothing more than to come right out and tell Edward just how much I liked him. I often wondered if it was the policy here that kept us from acting on our feelings. I didn't have as much doubt now that Edward didn't return the infatuation, a huge reason being Alice lecturing every chance she got on reasons _why_ Edward could possibly like me. But I wasn't so sure that Edward liked me as much as I did him—

"Bella?"

I was snapped out of my mulling by Mrs. Williams.

"What is the answer, Bella?" There was a question? I didn't even know what subject we were in right now.

"2/3X + 6," Edward whispered from my right.

Hoping he was okay in math (though, anyone was probably better in math than I was) I replied with the answer Edward gave me. To my relief, it was correct and I thanked Edward even though it technically was his fault I hadn't been paying attention as I was thinking about him. _Damn it, if only he'd realize…_

Edward still looked like he was constantly struggling. He tried to hide it from me, I could tell, but it knew that the rehab was so hard on him. It's hard on all of us at the very beginning. I wondered if something happened at his parents house, he wouldn't speak of it that much.

Lunch passed uneventfully. Nothing new there, only myself ready to self-combust. Though the evening would certainly be different then others I figured, as I saw Alice get a mischievous glint in her eye.

"Well, Jasper and I are just going to go work on some homework. We'll see you two later," Alice said as she subtly winked at me, herself and Jasper leaving the common area. _Great_. It didn't get passed me that this left Edward and I to sit here not knowing what to do with ourselves. It was fine when it was the _four_ of us but when it was just us two…that was a different story.

"So…" _And so it begins._

I laughed nervously and turned my attention back to the television. I soon realized it wasn't even turned on. We remained silent for a while but I was fully aware of Edward staring at me from the corner of my eye. I couldn't take it anymore.

"Edward, this is ridiculous!" I exclaimed, not sure where the sudden confidence came from. "Is this how it's going to be for the remainder of my stay?"

Edward opened his mouth to speak but closed it quickly, his eyebrows slightly raised. He tried to speak again,

"I thought…I wasn't sure…"

"You weren't sure of what?" I asked, now rather hurt.

"I wasn't sure if you would want a relationship in _rehab_ of all places," he said softly.

It was my turn to be speechless. So that _was_ the reason. I was suddenly frustrated that that stupid policy _had_ kept us apart. God, I hated this place sometimes.

"I didn't—" I quickly cut his words off with my lips, probably one of the boldest things I had ever done. Well, since Edward had attacked me with his lips last time, it was only polite to return the favor, right?

I pulled away quickly, however, when I realized just exactly where we were. My hand flew to cover my mouth while my cheeks were blushing furiously,

"Oh God, Edward, I'm sor—" This time it was my turn to be cut off, when Edward pulled me to my feet, a wildness now apparent in his eyes.

"Come on," he said quickly, leading me to the second level then the third until I figured out that we were going to the piano room.

He pulled me into the room and shut the door behind him, only for him to turn around to press me up against the door. I could feel every curve of him up against me. He had that determined look in his eyes once again and I was beginning to love it, hoping for the same outcome that came the last time I saw this look.

He softly pressed his lips to mine this time as I became overwhelmed by the unique smell of Edward. But I had to know one thing first:

"Wait, does this mean—"

"Yes," Edward breathed, kissing me once again. His hands knotted with my hair, which made me shiver in the greatest way.

"What about the rule?" I asked, hoping he would think nothing of it and also wondering if he was getting annoyed by me interrupting. Not like I wanted to, I couldn't help that I had an inquiring mind.

Edward stopped kissing me, "I don't care." He grinned but became serious again, "Do you?"

I shook my head and whispered, "No." Why would I? That was enough of an answer for Edward as his lips collided with mine and I let my arms twine with his hair while his moved to the lower of my back.

I hadn't noticed how amazingly soft his lips were and the electric shock that came with them was just overwhelming. I did not want to leave this. I would gladly do this all day.

We continued in this manner for who knows how long until Edward pulled away but he didn't end the kisses, rather he began peppering them along my jaw and down my neck.

"Bella, I like you so much," Edward mumbled against my skin, his breathing heavy.

If my heart wasn't stationary in my chest it surely would've jumped about fifty feet, at least that's what it felt like.

"I like you too, Edward," _Obviously._ Edward smiled a glorious smile and gave me a chaste kiss.

"So," Edward began, almost breathing normally again, "I've wanted to ask you this for too long," he paused. Was he trying to kill me with the suspense? "Will you be my girlfriend?" he asked quickly, his bright green eyes looking deeply into my own. "Secretly, of course," he added with a playful wink.

I laughed, "Yes!" I couldn't hide my excitement and didn't even want to. This was too much to comprehend. Not only had Edward asked me to be his girlfriend but also he had _wanted_ to all this time! I didn't even care that I was actually in a rehabilitation center and _not_ in the real world but who cares! This was _Edward._

We stayed in the room longer talking about nothing in particular; all the while Edward would kiss me on the hand, the cheek, my forehead…you get it. If I hadn't hated PRC so much, I would without a doubt stay in that room forever with him. Alice didn't seem to like this plan so much as she eventually found us and once again barged into the room…squealing no less.

"Guess what! Guess. _What!_" Alice exclaimed, bouncing in place. Jasper came in a minute later, slightly out of breath.

Edward and I remained silent for a moment, waiting for the shock to wear off.

"Just tell them, Alice," Jasper said, regaining his reserved composure.

"Fine," Alice pouted but almost instantaneously perked up again. "Bella, there's going to be a _dance_!" she all but screamed.

"What?" I asked flatly. I must have heard incorrectly.

"What's not to understand? We're going to a dance! I haven't been to one in so long…" Alice trailed off then turned to Jasper, looking at him dreamily.

"Has anyone realized we're not in some posh boarding school without a care in the world but _rehab_? Why would we have a dance?" I asked, flabbergasted. I couldn't wrap my head around it and there would be no way I was going; I did not want to make a larger fool of myself than I already had. _And with what happened last time I was at a social gathering_… I shivered involuntarily.

"I think they're taking pity on us. After all, we are teenagers. Dances just come hand in hand. Of course, they'll be watching us like we're bombs about to be set off. And with their stupid rule about close proximities with the opposite gender, I wouldn't be surprised if they had rulers at the ready to keep us at least a foot apart," And that…was all managed in one breath by Alice Brandon. But no, she wasn't done yet. "But who _cares_ about the reason! There's so much I need to do!" she paused then gasped in horror, "I don't have a dress!"

"Alice you have tens of dresses," I said boredly, rolling my eyes. "Can we get back to the important thing here? A _dance_? I'm not going," I said defiantly, even crossing my arms.

"Yes you are, Isabella Swan," Alice said sternly, glaring at me. Well, I glared right back at her.

"Come on, Bella, maybe it'll be fun," Edward nudged me from beside me, taking my hand.

I turned to him, shocked.

"You too?"

The crooked smile that I couldn't resist appeared on his face. He leaned in, stopping when he was centimeters from my face,

"Please?" he breathed.

I could feel my resolve quickly depleting and with one last look into his dazzling green eyes I knew I was a goner.

"Fine!" I sighed. "But I'm not promising that I'll enjoy myself."

Alice snorted and patted my arm, "Okay Bella, if that makes you feel better."

_Could one's eyes get stuck from rolling them so much?_ I inquired to myself as I did just that for about the hundredth time in a matter of minutes to Alice.

Alice and Jasper left the room again and I spun around to face Edward.

"I hope you're happy," I muttered, crossing my arms once again.

"I am very happy, as a matter of fact," he replied smartly, grinning cheekily.

I narrowed my eyes at him, was everyone against me here? Honestly, I had their best interests in mind. I did not want to accidentally kill anyone here from my clumsiness. Well, I couldn't say I didn't warn them.

* * *

(_By the way, this is approximately one week later on a Saturday.)_

And so, here we were once again…at the mall. Stupid PRC thought it logical to let us go shopping before the dance this evening. How nice of them.

Maybe _they_ didn't know what they were getting themselves into. Why would they willingly volunteer to be stuck in a room with a hundred problem-infested teenagers? They obviously had a death wish. At the same time it was a rather nice notion though it sadly had Alice bouncing off the walls.

"Here, here quickly! Try this on! We only have another hour and a half!" Alice said with her eyes wide.

"_Only?_" I said in mock horror. One death glare from Alice was enough to get me into that dressing room.

After a quick look at the dark green dress that barely made it to mid thigh I said, "No way, Alice. Too revealing."

I came back out of the dressing room in my original clothing and placed the garment in her arms.

"Well yeah, I kind of knew you would say that so I got you this one," Alice held a beautiful dress of the most amazing blue colour I had ever seen. I knew right there that it was the one. "Try it on," she finally urged after watching me stare at the dress in awe.

While trying on the dress my thoughts ran back to Edward. It had been over an hour since Alice had so rudely separated us. She did not want Edward seeing my dress until right before the dance, which I thought was completely ludicrous. He was going to see me with the outfit on in the end anyway…

Edward had asked me to the dance a day before. He played it up, pretending to act all shy and nervous.

"So…where are Jasper and Edward?" I asked nonchalantly, getting an eye roll from Alice.

"Calm down, they're off getting their dress shirts."

I gasped playfully, "You mean to tell me that you're not making them where tuxes?"

"I most definitely tried but _apparently_ this dance isn't a tuxedo affair," Alice said bitterly. "And I really wanted to see Jas in a tux," she pouted. I didn't say anything, not wanting to interrupt her sudden daydream, which was most likely filled with Jasper at an altar in a tuxedo.

We paid for the dresses, Alice getting a short pink dress, and finally left to go find the boys. Honestly, they should really look into getting better chaperones.

"I still don't get it," I said, as I sipped on my soft drink. "What is the point of a dance?"

Alice rolled her eyes again. She was really let down that I wasn't sharing the same enthusiasm as she had for this.

"Well, they used to have dances here apparently but they haven't had one in three years. I think something happened at the last one."

"Oh, so that's a great reason to have another," I said sarcastically.

She swatted my arm, "They're giving us another chance. Take it as a compliment."

I felt a pair of arms circle my waist from behind and the most beautiful boy to walk the earth greeted me.

"Hi," I managed to get out. Why must he always dazzle me to the brink of insanity? Though, saying I didn't like it would be a boldfaced lie.

He gave me a warm kiss on the lips and then noticed the bag I was holding.

"Did you get your dress?" he grinned, moving to open the bag; he was met with a loud slap to the hand by Alice.

"None of that," she pointed at Edward with frightening eyes. Even Edward looked a bit scared as he raised his hands up in a sign of surrender.

"Lovely," Alice grinned and skipped back to Jasper.

"Annoying shopaholic sprite," I muttered, earning a chuckle from Edward.

We sneakily made it back to the group without anyone the wiser. After the long shopping trip I wanted nothing more than to go back to my room and _sleep_ but of course, tonight had to be the night where I would be forced to endure ridicule and mockery for my balancing issue. Oh, what a fun night it would be. At least I had a Greek God there to save me.

**AN: Do you see this? The same weekend! Am I awesome, or what? Yeah, it's rather short but evs. Anyway, before I get crazy reviews from people saying that it is the stupidest idea for them to have a dance… chill. I know I know, but honestly it was the only way I could think of to get Bella to spill her story (what's this? could that be a hint I hear? Honestly, am I just bad at giving hints or are you people just bad at taking them? I've given like… two or three so far). Silly stubborn Bella. And yes, it's rehab and there wouldn't be a dance…I even insulted myself I believe for the idea…but just let me have my way okay?**

**Smart ol' me even managed to finish her homework BEFORE 1:00pm on a Sunday… what is up with that? The great thing about this? I get to begin writing the next chapter. Which will have some drama! Though I don't know how well I'll be able to write dramatic scenes…hmph. Carry on to the purplish button down there if you would be so kind!**


	10. Empty

**AN: 'Empty – Metric'.** **I personally think it fits pretty well (go with it).**

**I'm an idiot. I'm putting off studying for my French exam to finish and post this but I hope you like it!**

**BPOV**

…6:12pm…6:17pm…6:24pm…6:35pm…

"That's it, Alice. I've sat here and cooperated like your perfect, silent Barbie doll but I can't take it anymore. Aren't you done yet?" I whined. I was at breaking point. Alice had done just about everything to get me ready for the dance. You name it: prodded, plucked, poked, smeared, curled, and the list goes on. It was wrong to me on so many levels.

"Oh hush. Please let me have my fun, Bella. I never get to do this here," Alice pouted. "You want to look good for Edward, don't you?"

I looked at her for a minute until I caved and slumped in my chair. I sighed, "Continue."

"So," I began, not standing the silence once again, "looking forward to seeing Jasper all dressed up and looking handsome tonight?" I nudged her playfully, though carefully so she wouldn't poke out my eye with the eyeliner poised at my eye.

It was silent, until—

"Is that a blush I see, Ms. Brandon?" I gasped.

"No," Alice denied but a smile was evident on her lips.

"You really like him, don't you?" I stated the obvious.

"More than you can believe," she sighed. "…I think I love him."

My head snapped up with a grin spreading on my face.

"He loves you too, you know."

Alice's eyes were glistening with so much hope. I felt immensely happy for my friend. After everything she had been through she was able to gain so much from coming here. I knew she had found the love of her life.

"There, all done." Alice backed away so she could admire her work.

I walked tentatively to the mirror in our room. There I found…some other girl? This definitely was _not_ me. Her hair was in beautiful loose curls that framed her face while the make-up accented her eyes perfectly.

"Alice, you've outdone yourself." I actually looked _good!_

"I know," she replied simply. "Go put your dress on!"

I turned around to find Alice already in her dress. When had she done that?

After Alice and I were finished we walked down to the cafeteria where all of the other residents were gathering. I hadn't realized just how many of us there were. One look into the room and I could tell it was already packed. Then again, it wasn't the biggest cafeteria out there.

We found Edward and Jasper at the entrance waiting patiently for us. My breathing was cut short as I took in Edward. His hair was in a perfect messy state but I could tell he had tried to comb it. I smiled at the effort. He wore black dress pants and his blue shirt almost matched my dress perfectly…I'd bet anything Alice had something to do with that.

Upon approaching the boys, I saw Edward's smile fade as his jaw now hung slightly open, while his eyes widened. He snapped it shut when he noticed me looking.

"Words cannot begin to describe how amazing you look," Edward whispered as he kissed my cheek.

Heat raced to my cheeks as I murmured a thank you.

We had to separate after that, keeping a safe distance between us so the staff wouldn't get suspicious.

Walking in and taking in my surroundings I couldn't stop the laugh that bubbled to my lips. Probably the entire staff (besides the head doctors) were standing in the room, stiff backed with piercing eyes. What was most likely supposed to be menacing was simply funny. All the other teenagers were just standing around, not really knowing what to do with themselves.

They had taken the effort to clearing away the long tables from the cafeteria and replacing them with smaller circular tables. Needless to say, most of the population was stationed at these tables.

A smug smirk appeared on my lips as I turned to look at Alice. I _knew_ it would be a waste of time coming here.

"Don't even say anything, Bella," Alice narrowed her eyes at me then turned her attention back to the room, almost with a pleading look.

"Whoa, who died?" Jasper muttered from Alice's side. I snorted at this but covered it as a cough, not wanting to get chastised by Alice.

"This isn't fair," Alice whined, stomping her petite heel for effect, "I wanted to go to a _dance_. This is…well I don't even know what this is!" Alice waved her hand around the room. I actually felt bad for Alice. She adored events like dances so this was a complete let down for her. She was beginning to show that pout again. _Why must I be such a good person at heart?_

"Well come on! Let's not waste the night away!" I said in what I hoped sounded like sincere enthusiasm. The three of them looked at me oddly for a moment but then complied.

I grabbed Edward's hand and led him to the middle of the room as I sent silent threatening messages to Alice. _You better appreciate me risking my life for you, dear Alice._

I hesitantly placed my arms on Edward's shoulders and he placed his arms on my waist, catching on. Of course, in any other circumstance I'm sure we would be dancing much closer; but this wasn't any other circumstance, this was rehab where we were surrounded by strict chaperones.

Alice's face brightened as she realized I was attempting to dance for her and she gladly moved to dance with Jasper.

I turned away from the pair to give them their privacy, only to come face to face with a pair of gorgeous emerald eyes.

"Bella, you look so beautiful," Edward murmured. If he kept these compliments up I might actually begin to believe him.

"You clean up pretty well, yourself," I replied with a smile.

"This was very nice of you to do for Alice," Edward said. He continued when he saw my confused expression, "I realize how much you are opposed to dancing."

"Well, _this _I can handle. It's when I actually try to move around. _That's_ when it starts getting hazardous for myself and the people around me," I eyed Edward, silently warning him.

"I think I'm willing to take the risk," Edward said quietly as he squeezed my waist. I blushed again and looked away for fear of passing out under his intense gaze.

"And besides," I continued, "Alice didn't really get the chance to go to many dances at her school." Her father was very strict, to say the least.

Edward nodded his head in understanding, getting the basic gist of the reasoning.

As the song continued I battled the urge to move closer and wrap my arms around his neck. He was just too appealing for his own good.

Slowly, other attendees were finding the courage to start dancing themselves so we took that as our cue to take a break.

We sat down at one of the tables after the song finished. I was not about to dance anymore than I needed to.

For a while we simply sat together and poked fun at the other residents who attempted to dance. I really could not say much on this topic; I was far worse than many of these brave souls. The rest of the time was spent commenting on which chaperones would look the best (or in this case, funniest) together. My personal favourite was the petite mouse-like, balding man and the unusually tall woman. The bone structure of her face made her slightly resemble a horse. I pondered what their offspring would look like…

It was amusing seeing how close people could daringly get until the chaperones would snap out of their trances and break people up.

An hour after the dance had commenced, Jasper took Alice out of the room to speak privately, leaving myself and Edward…and Mike.

"Hi, Bella!" I grudgingly looked up from Edward to see Mike.

"Hello Mike," I replied, trying very hard not to sound rude.

"Do you want to dance with me?" I couldn't help but notice he said '_with me_' as if it would be some privilege to do so.

"No, thank you. I don't really enjoy dancing."

"Come on, who knows when we'll have another dance? Just dance with me one time," Mike bargained.

"She politely declined Mike, what part didn't you understand?" Edward said with narrowed eyes.

Mike dragged his lusty eyes away from me to look at Edward as if he was just noticing his presence.

"Hey man, I'm just trying to get a dance with a pretty girl. You understand, Cullen, right?" he smirked. I wondered when Mike had gone from calling Edward by his first name to using his last. It couldn't be because Edward had taken an interest in me, could it?

I could tell Edward was trying to refrain from hurting Mike; his fists were in balls on his knees and his knuckles had taken on a whiter colour than his natural skin tone.

"Well I'm sorry to inform you, but Bella already promised myself a dance. If you will excuse us, _Newton_," Edward said with a clenched jaw, and with that he grabbed my hand and led me back onto the dance floor.

He pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger; a habit I noticed Edward would do when he was annoyed or nervous. I'd put money on the first option.

"I apologize, Bella, that was very rude of me. We don't have to dance if you don't want to…" Edward trailed off.

"No! I mean, no I want to. Besides, anything to get rid of Mike, right?" I joked, not baring to see the frown on Edward's face.

The truth was, as much as I hated dancing, I didn't mind it as much with Edward; I felt safe in his arms. And I think I'd give up my left arm before I had to dance with Mike.

I wrapped my arms around his neck this time, curious to see how close _we _could get until we would get separated. There were no signs of authoritative figures near us but looking past Edward's right shoulder I could see Mike glaring at us. I think it was more directed at the back of Edward's head, however. I wasn't truly worried though; Mike was harmless, right?

Once again, the song ended and we headed back to our claimed table.

"I'm just going to go use the washroom, I'll be right back," I informed Edward.

"Would you like me to come with you?" Edward asked, looking over my shoulder like I had done minutes before.

"No thank you, I'm fine. I'll only be gone a minute," I said as I smiled up at him.

Edward nodded absentmindedly and kissed me on the cheek before letting go of my hand that he'd been holding.

Walking out of the makeshift dance hall, I was immediately met with peace and quite. I hadn't realized how loud it was in there until I heard the ringing in my ears out in the corridor.

As I walked in, I took a moment to look in the mirror at myself. My appearance was slowly starting to regain its original colour and look I had had before the whole drug incident occurred. Getting over the drugs had really taken a toll on me emotionally and physically and I was proud that I was looking less abnormal now. Now, just to get over the drugs and I'm home free. Easy enough, right?

After using the facilities, I quickly made my way back to the dance not wanting to keep Edward waiting. He had seemed to be worried about letting me leave on my own.

I was about to round a corner when a hand came out of nowhere and grabbed my arm, pulling me into a deserted classroom.

"Wha—? Oomf!"

As soon as I was in the room, my kidnapper pushed me up against the wall roughly.

"Finally," he said lowly. I froze as I recognized that boyish voice.

"Mike? What are you doing!"

"Claiming what is mine."

I scoffed, "Mike, I am nor will I _ever_ be _yours_! Now let me go!"

"I don't believe you, Bella," Mike disagreed.

"What?"

"I've seen the way you look at me. I know you want me just as badly. You're just playing hard to get," Mike said in a cocky tone.

"_Excuse _me?" I asked, shocked. I was pretty sure I had never given the hint that I was at all interested in Mike. Maybe I _was_ too nice for my own good.

"It's okay, there's no need to deny it," Mike said sharply. He pressed himself closer against me. I didn't like this. This wasn't anything like when Edward did it. This was completely wrong.

I finally looked up at Mike and noticed his bloodshot eyes. Had he done drugs? I wasn't sure but by the way he was moving I could tell he wasn't in his right state of mind and that was dangerous.

"Please Mike, just let me leave and I won't mention that this ever happened."

"_No!_" He said forcefully. He leaned in and before I could comprehend what was happening he kissed me. He smelled awful and it only got worse as he plunged his tongue into my mouth.

I let out a squeal of protest as I tried to shove Mike off of me. He grabbed my wrist as I tried to hit him.

"Stop, Bella. This will go a whole lot easier if you just cooperate."

By now I was crying, as Mike slid my dress strap off my shoulder. This couldn't be happening. I knew I got off too easily last time.

Just as Mike's hands moved to lift my dress, the door to the classroom burst open but I couldn't make out who it was through my tears.

The unknown person pulled Mike off of me and I immediately shut my eyes, trying to process what had come close to happening to me.

I heard a fist make contact with what I could only guess was a jaw then a body hit the floor.

"Bella?" a velvety voice asked.

**AN: Bum bum bum! There was my "intense" scene. Kinda lame, huh? Oh well, you get the point. And yes, sort of a cliffy but not really…it's not too bad. I couldn't help but make the dance a total joke…at first I was going to make like, an actual one all cool and whatnot but I mean, it's rehab…jeepers. Poor Alice, though, she was so looking forward to it.**

**I was going to keep writing but I wanted to stop so I could have more chapters because I'm greedy like that (I'm looking at maybe five more? We'll see). I definitely won't get another chance to write until the weekend but I WILL have another chap. posted this weekend. If I don't…you have permission to verbally abuse me. Onward, to the purple button! : D**


	11. As You Sleep

**AN: 'As You Sleep – Something Corporate'. So, I'm on a mild sugar high from Reese Cups. I'd rather not say how many in hopes that I won't sound like a fatty. I know I am but it's fun to pretend I'm not. In other words, I was too impatient to think long and hard about a song so I thought of the first song I could.**

**Bum bum bum, aftermath of the fiasco! Edward Cullen style.**

**ALSO: Why must i forget? i know! i WANT to think i own these beautiful characters instead of the wonderful SM...alas, i do not, my friends, i do not.**

**EPOV**

I did not want to let Bella leave my side. I wasn't trying to be possessive but the longing looks that Mike was giving her (and the death glares he was giving me) could only mean that he was up to something.

I sat at the table in the room holding the dance trying to not look like a worried wreck but to no avail. Then when Mike made a not so subtle escape from the room my worries escalated tenfold.

The corridors were empty when I went to investigate and I even checked the women's restroom, knocking on the door and calling Bella's name. No answer. Walking back, I could hear a considerably loud squeal come from a nearby classroom and I could tell it was being muffled by the sound of it.

When I reached the room causing the disturbance I found it was locked. I was almost one hundred percent certain that Bella was behind this door. Where else could she have gone? She wouldn't have just ditched me like that; Bella wasn't that kind of person. Throwing all of my weight against the barrier, I managed to enter the room.

The sight I was met with made me feel two things. Nausea and infuriating anger. The vile Mike Newton had Bella pressed up against the wall and for a millisecond I felt a pang of jealousy until I realized she was crying. I acted on impulse, quickly pulling Mike off of Bella.

What I did next came as a shocker to even myself. I punched him. I am not and never have been prone to violence but in the heat of the moment, my instincts took over.

I must have hit him pretty hard because after he hit the floor, he didn't move. However, that was the least of my worries right now.

I turned my gaze back to the curled-up form by the door.

"Bella?" Her eyes were clamped shut, tears still streaming down her face. She seemed to refuse to open her eyes so I reached forward in hopes that she would calm down at my touch.

When my fingers gently touched her shoulder, she cringed away further along the wall since she couldn't back up anywhere. I felt like _I _had been punched, the way she shied away from me.

"Bella," I whispered again. "Bella, please open your eyes. It's me, Edward."

She cracked one eye open and then the other. Without warning Bella flung herself at me, wrapping her arms tightly around my neck.

"Oh, Edward," she sobbed, "I was so scared. I couldn't do anything; he was too strong. H-he ki-kiss—" she couldn't finish her sentence.

"Shh, it's all right. You're safe, Bella, see?" she nodded weakly.

"Come on, let's get out of this room," I helped her up, wrapping my left arm around her waist. I stopped abruptly in the doorway when I remembered the other being in the room. _Mike_. Even my mind sneered the filthy creature's name.

We met Alice and Jasper outside of the room, Alice looking frantic.

"What's wrong? What happened? We were only gone for—" Jasper put a calming hand on her shoulder.

I informed them briefly of what happened, Bella not having the courage to speak right then and told them that Mike was still in the room. Jasper said that he'd take care of it. How he would explain to the doctor that Mike had 'fallen' and possibly broken his nose was beyond me but I didn't have time to inquire this. My main concern was Bella.

"Bella, are you all right?" I asked as we walked to her room.

She simply nodded again, looking like she had seen the dead come back from the grave.

The first movement she had made in minutes, besides the legs she had been using to walk, was opening her bedroom door. Bella quickly walked in and sat down quietly on her bed, still staring directly ahead of her. She looked like she had gone into some form of shock.

I lingered in the doorway for a moment, not knowing if she wanted me to stay. The roles seemed to have been reversed as I remembered back (which really wasn't that long ago) to the weekend where Bella had stayed to take care of me.

She indicated for me to join her on the bed as she lied down on top of the blankets. I crawled in behind her and wrapped my arms once again around her waist. It was quiet for another moment and it was starting to make me nervous that Bella wasn't saying anything.

"Bella, I'm sorry," I whispered, nuzzling my nose into her strawberry scented hair, "I should have found you earlier and you wouldn't have had to endure _Mike_—"

"Edward," Bella all of the sudden said, turning around in my arms, "It was _not_ your fault. I shouldn't have gone off by myself…" she drifted off and I could tell she was remembering tonight's events.

"Bella, it was neither our faults."

I could feel the fabric on my right shoulder quickly dampening and I looked down to find Bella silently crying.

"Bella? It's okay; it's over. He won't get to you now," I subconsciously pulled Bella closer to me. It took everything in my power to not run back to that room and finish Mike off.

I was snapped back to reality when I heard Bella mumble something.

"Hm?"

"I couldn't believe it was happening again…" she sniffled, eyes downcast.

I automatically tensed. _She hasn't been…has she?_

"You couldn't believe…_what_ was happening again?" I asked quietly.

Bella raised her head so her red, puffy eyes could look at me. A look of newfound determination was on her face. With a deep, unsteady breath she began,

"In my sophomore year…" she paused again. "A guy asked me out to this party. I shouldn't have agreed to go…but I did. I mean I had had this huge crush on a guy… _James_. I was just ecstatic that he took notice in me for whatever insane reason that he did." Bella stopped again with a look of honest confusion on her face. She really didn't see herself clearly. But I was fairly certain I could see where this confession was heading and I knew I wouldn't like this James character in the end.

"It started off okay, I was a little uncomfortable; I didn't know anyone there but James stuck by my side for the most part," Bella nodded her head absentmindedly, thinking back to the night.

"Then he told me he would be back in a few minutes, I'm not sure where he went. His friends quickly began offering me god knows what, a sip of beer or a drop of LSD. There was _so_ much drugs there," she added in a whisper.

"They wouldn't leave me alone, wouldn't accept my declines. They started threatening and pressuring me. Saying how James wouldn't like me if I didn't try cocaine…I wouldn't be good enough… and so I tried it. I liked him so much and no boy had ever shown interest in me before; I had never been on so much as a date. I really wanted James to like me. Unfortunately, trying it that one time would lead to my addiction.

Anyway, the guys gave me something else as well; I'm not sure what but it left me…disoriented. They advanced on me, trying to get me too—" Bella stopped and shut her eyes, causing the tears that had been threatening to spill over her eyelids to fall down her cheeks. I softly brushed them away. I was about to tell her that she didn't have to tell me when she continued.

"Before anything _too_ serious could happen, James came in. He at least had the decency to prevent his chums from doing anything to me. At the time, this made my heart sore; James had saved me. But the following Monday, back in school, James didn't want anything to be with me. I admit I wasn't looking the greatest from the cocaine. He called me a filthy crack head and a… a whore for sleeping with his friends. This wasn't true, of course, and he knew it; he had been there. I felt worthless and even more so when the entire school _believed_ him and treated me as if I was some horrible, deadly disease." A new round of tears fell from her eyes as I looked on with a shocked expression.

How could sweet Bella have been put through this? _Why _would anyone want to treat her this way? My thoughts quickly turned murderous as I remembered James and what _he_ did. How could he toy with her emotions like that? It was almost as bad as his friends trying to rape her.

I was also elated that Bella had shared this with me, however awful it was. If I remembered correctly, she had never shared that with anyone. This must have meant that she trusted me a lot. But the thought of her having gone through this and never talking about it to anyone before was saddening.

Thinking this through was like a roller coaster, it seemed. I then remembered I hadn't said anything yet.

"Bella…I'm so sorry. I had no idea. You do not deserve any of that. _He_," I couldn't even speak his name, "was a fool for not realizing how amazing you are."

Bella smiled weakly and rubbed some more tears from her cheeks.

"Yeah, well…now you know," she said, trying to act like what she went through was nothing. It was obviously the opposite.

I sighed, "Bella…" I didn't know what else to say when I noticed it was nearing curfew. I couldn't believe how long we had been lying there. The dance was probably over by now. I didn't want to leave Bella like this but they would most definitely not allow me to staying in her room. "I should leave…" I said, sounding uncertain.

"No!" Bella said quickly, latching onto my shirt. "Please," she whispered, "don't leave me."

"Never," I replied with a small smile, secretly celebrating the fact that Bella didn't want me gone. The look on her face had nearly broken my heart. I think she honestly believed I would leave her on my own accord. I wanted to prove her wrong; I wanted nothing more than to stay like this, with Bella in my arms, forever. I kissed her forehead softly, hopefully conveying my thoughts.

She smiled and sank her head back into the pillow.

"You should sleep now," I suggested in a whisper. She looked dead on her feet…or in this case, dead on her _back_. It seemed that she was fighting her eyelids from succumbing to what they truly wanted; sleep.

"I can't. I don't want to relive what happened tonight in my nightmares," Bella whispered.

She needed sleep so I began to hum the song, which I realized was now a lullaby, to her and she quickly fell asleep.

I watched Bella's angelic face as she slept, noticing as her brow furrowed. Was she already having a nightmare?

When I had first laid eyes on Bella, never in a million years would I have guessed she would have had such a traumatic past. Proof that you shouldn't judge a book by their cover.

I didn't have the chance to ponder this when the door to the room opened, revealing Alice.

"How is she?" she said not nearly quiet enough. I warned her with a 'shh' and nodded my head to the sleeping Bella. A look of realization dawned on her face and she immediately quieted.

"Sorry…well?" Even with her hushed whispers I could distinctly hear the annoyance that her question wasn't answered.

"She's…better. Upset, but that's normal, of course. She only just went to sleep."

"Edward, I can't thank you enough. To think what would have happened if you hadn't been there…" Alice said with a serious face.

"I have an idea," I muttered.

"I'll go to Jasper's room and stay there tonight. I'm sure he won't mind," Alice said after a minute.

"No, you should stay. It's your room after all. I'll leave," I said with a pained face.

Alice wore a small smile, "No. You stay. If you left, Bella would be upset. I trust you to take care of her."

"Thank you, Alice."

She nodded her head and went to grab a pair of pajamas.

"Try not to get caught by the Room Advisor," I said lightly, though I knew it wouldn't be much trouble as long as she was sneaky. He could care less of the goings on in our corridor; that I'm sure of.

"You too," she replied with a grin, and then left me to fall asleep beside the wonder that was Bella.

**AN: (sigh) Once again, I was going to keep going; I wanted to make you all happy and give you a long chapter but at least you found out Bella's story however boring it may have been. If I can make myself get up early tomorrow morning I will try and start the next chapter before I have to tackle the mountain of homework I have. I hate life.**


	12. Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You

**AN: 'Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You - Muse' . Hahaha, i did not know they covered this song! It blew my mind and now i've listened to it, like, twenty times in the past two days. Is it obvious to anyone else that i'm not taking picking the chapter song seriously anymore? haha. Oh well, it's all good.**

**I have become obsessed with writing Edward's point of view, sorry. i promise, next chapter? It's Bella's turn.**

**EPOV**

I awoke to the feeling of movement from beside me. I cracked my eyes open and immediately realized I was definitely _not_ in my room. But how could I forget?

"'Morning," the beautiful girl said, covering a yawn with her hand.

"Good morning, beautiful," I replied. This caused an adorable blush to form on her cheeks. Even after just waking up, it astounded me how gorgeous Bella was able to look in the morning. My mind raced with thoughts of waking up to the sight every morning…

She stretched her arms above her head, giving me a view of her flat stomach as her shirt (she must have changed during the night) rode up. This just wasn't fair.

Her eyes widened suddenly as she gasped, "What time is it?"

My eyes snapped to the alarm clock on her bed.

"8:54am. Don't worry, it's Sunday; they won't be coming to wake us up."

A look of relief spread across her face as she continued to stretch.

"Good."

"Though I should probably get back to my own room, just in case they _do_ catch us," I said.

"That's probably a good idea," Bella said with a small smile on her lips.

"Will you be all right?" I asked worriedly.

"Of course, Alice will probably be back soon anyway to check on me," she laughed.

"True," I smiled. I wasn't completely okay with leaving her but I knew I had to get back.

"Thank you, Edward. Again," she said quietly.

I smiled in return and kissed her lips softly, hoping it wasn't too soon after her traumatic experience. Apparently she was fine with it as Bella pressed eagerly into me to my delight.

When we broke apart Bella showed her first true smile in ten hours.

"I think…" Bella began, her face serious again, "I think I'm going to take rehab more seriously now. I mean I still haven't completely given up cocaine… I'm going to try harder now."

"What brought this on?"

"Last night…I don't know; I just want to get over this and move on with my life," she said.

I was proud of her. Mind you, part of me was thinking…well, if I have to go cold turkey on the drugs she should as well. _Completely _that is.

However, another part of me could only think one thing; _Move on?_

"I'll see you later," she said in more of a question.

"Yes," I replied confidently.

I walked back to my room probably looking like some paranoid freak, constantly looking over my shoulder for staff members. When I made it into my room I was stuck for what to do. I wasn't hungry for breakfast; it was Sunday, which meant they wouldn't be taking us anywhere; homework? Yes, I'm going to do that in my free time… right.

I decided on visiting Jasper in his room, knowing Bella was probably right and Alice had already gone back to her room to check on her. I needed to talk to someone and Jasper was quickly becoming my new closest friend.

"Hey man," Jasper greeted, looking slightly disheveled.

"Hey… uhm, can I come in? Or…" So things weren't _completely _comfortable with us (at least for me) but we were getting there. It had always been hard for me to warm up to people. It was odd how I could find better friends in _rehab_ than anywhere else. Perhaps it was because they were just as messed up as I was?

"Yeah of course," Jasper said as he ushered me into the small room, closing the door behind me. "How is Bella?" he asked cautiously.

"She's…better," I said, searching for words. "A little shaken up but she seems to be as fine as one can possibly be after experiencing something like she did."

Jasper nodded his head as if in agreement. "That's good to hear. She had me and Alice worried. Good thing you were here, eh? I mean, if you hadn't…" he trailed off. I couldn't help but internally smile as Jasper practically said the exact same thing Alice had said the previous night.

"So, speaking of Alice…" I cracked a grin. Jasper looked back up to me in innocence. "Where did the two of you wander off to last night?" I inquired, arching a teasing eyebrow.

I knew something must have happened because this question made a blush appear on Jasper's cheeks. Not as predominant as Bella's blushes but it was certainly there.

"Well?" I asked feigning annoyance after Jasper remained silent. I hoped I hadn't pushed our new-friend boundaries.

"We…went for a walk," Jasper stated but a small smile played on his face.

"And?" I urged.

"I told Alice…that I loved her," Jasper said, this time in a more confident tone. "And… she returns the feelings." He had a broad grin on his face. The connection the two had astounded me. For only knowing each other for maybe two months tops they were already confessing their love for one another. And I didn't doubt their love either; it was clear in both of their eyes and their actions when they were around the other. They would be together forever. What a story to tell the grandkids, 'your grandpa and grandma met in rehab! Isn't that romantic?' Obviously to these two it was.

I could only hope that I would one day find that amount of love in someone. It didn't get past me that when I thought of this mystery woman I automatically pictured Bella. Maybe this was a story we could tell our grandchildren one day? _Okay, Cullen, you're getting _way_ too ahead of yourself there… you only _just_ got together._ This was true but a guy can hope, right?

"Wow. That's amazing," I grinned. I truly was happy for them even if I wasn't the greatest at verbally saying it.

"Yeah…" Jasper said, appearing to go off into a daydream of sort. I took this as my cue to leave.

"Well, I'll talk to you later," I began, standing up.

"Hey, wait up, I'll come with you," he called as he noticed I was leaving. "We can meet up with the girls."

I suppressed the grin creeping onto my face. This place seemed like Disney World every time Bella was even _mentioned_. Is that sad in any way?

Scratch that, I felt like that before we were together…if there was a greater place than Disney World? That's how I felt now that we were boyfriend and girlfriend.

"Hey, long time no see," Bella greeted me when we met Alice and Bella in the cafeteria.

"Too long," I said as I leaned in to kiss her, carefully looking out for any nosey onlookers.

"So what happened to Mike? Did the nurses buy your story?" Bella asked. I was surprised that she would mention him again but when I looked at her face closely I could tell she wanted to hear that Mike was in pain or had been removed from the center.

I think Jasper was thinking the same thing as he looked at her quizzically for a second before speaking.

"Yeah," he laughed lightly, "the pathetic excuse for a boy sat there moaning and complaining the _entire_ time. Are you sure you weren't on the boxing team at your school, Edward?"

I smirked and shook my head.

"Anyway, I think even the nurses were finding it slightly amusing. I can't blame them. Luckily he didn't spill about what actually happened; I think he was embarrassed. Though he did spill a lot of blood, the thin bleeder," Jasper added bitterly. I could only presume that Jasper had the pleasure of getting some of Mike's blood on him. _Ewe_.

The four of us had been sitting in the cafeteria for no more than five minutes when someone came up behind me.

"Cullen?"

I turned around to find my Room Advisor…I forgot his name again. He didn't wait for me to acknowledge him when he continued to speak,

"Dr. Reid wants to see you in his office. Now."

Strange, I wasn't supposed to have a meeting with him today. I didn't _want_ to see him today. I let out a heavy sigh.

"Oh, go get it over with, Edward," Alice said whilst rolling her eyes.

"Why don't you just go see you best friend _Juliet_?" I sneered as I stood up. Bella squeezed my hand that was still in her grasp with an encouraging smile.

"Don't be too long," she said quietly, "I know how much you enjoy his company," she added with a laugh. Was I the only one around here who completely _loathed_ this man? Apparently so.

After knocking on his door and being granted entrance, I walked into Dr. Reid's office and sat down in the plush chair. He remained silent for a moment behind his desk as if he was studying me. This caused me to squirm slightly and if I was in trouble for something I sure as hell looked guilty now. But I quickly snapped out of it; I wasn't going to let this old man intimidate me.

"Edward," he finally began, "how have you liked your stay here so far?"

"It's been…pleasant." Were those the only kind of questions he could ask?

"Mhm, and are you talking about the building itself or Miss Swan who you so graciously kept company last night in her room?" he asked with cold eyes.

_Damn. _There was no way of getting around this guy. How did he know? I sat there with my mouth slightly open because I was too shocked to form a coherent sentence.

"Mr. Cullen, I do not appreciate you breaking the rules for the _second _time after I kindly let you off with a warning _last _time. Luckily for you, I believe in the three strikes policy. Mark my words, if something like this happens again I will have to ask you to leave the center."

I numbly nodded my head.

"Now, we don't want that; we want you to get better," he spoke again in a patronizing voice, "so please try to behave from here on out."

"Yes, sir," I said sincerely. I didn't want to get kicked out of here that was for sure. Yes, I wanted to get help for my drug problem but if the following couple of months were the only ones I would be able to spend with Bella before she left I couldn't leave. I didn't know what I was going to do when the end of those months came.

"You didn't really think I wouldn't find out, did you?" he asked, amused.

"Actually, I did," I replied with the truth.

"You should take the Room Advisors more seriously. They're not as dense as you seem to think."

I slumped in my seat. _Okay, so just because my Room Advisor is clueless does not mean the girls' RA is…lesson learned._

I stepped out of the office quickly to find Jasper, Alice, and Bella sitting in the waiting room. The three simultaneously stood up when they noticed my presence.

"What did he want?" Bella asked first. I waited until we had left the room and were seated in the common area for I replied.

"He…found out about me staying the night in your room," I said carefully.

Bella's eyes took the shape of saucers as I told her this while Alice and Jasper looked beyond shocked.

"What did he do? Are you kicked out?" she asked frantically.

I smiled, "No. He's giving me one last chance but if I mess up again I will have to leave."

"Edward, you have to be more careful. Please try. You can't leave me," Bella whispered the last part. I was surprised at how much my company meant to her. I hadn't noticed it was that important but the water in her eyes proved the point.

Alice and Jasper quietly left the room to give us some privacy no doubt.

"Bella, don't worry. I'm not leaving anytime soon. I'll probably have to stay in this place another year before I'm over the drugs," I half-heartedly joked.

She seemed to search my eyes for some kind of answer until she slowly let herself smile and leaned into me.

"It better not," she playfully narrowed her eyes at me, "you have to get out so you can come visit me when _I_ leave."

I detected the sadness in her eyes and I could feel it in my own. This was quickly becoming a huge issue and the end of Bella's stay was quickly approaching. I suddenly found myself mentally complaining about not being committed to the center earlier.

**AN: Grr, I'm not happy with the majority of this chapter but there you have it. I'm making myself promise to post another chapter this weekend. My reasoning: I may not get a chance to post **_**next **_**next weekend because I will be in Montreal. Just warning you all now before I'm shot for not posting so soon next week.**

**Hmm, I'm not sure how many more chapters there are! I know the ending (obviously) but I'm not so good with 'filler' chapters (obviously) so the story may be drawing to a close soon! I don't know, if you have any ideas maybe you could tell me? In a review or PM? : D**


	13. When I'm With You

**AN: 'When I'm With You - Faber Drive.' I surprised myself with this one, seeing as i highly disliked the band when they first made their appearance. But i thought this fit what Bella was thinking...and i have like, 30 more seconds to post this so i quickly chose this.**

**Has anyone else noticed that Bella's chapters always start off with huge paragraphs of nothing? I have…how strange. But here she is! Chapter 13 just like i promised! :) And on a Saturday, no less, which means i have the rest of the weekend to start 14...i may just have it posted before wednesday, the day i leave for QUEBEC (someone thought it was in NY or France.. it's not.. it's in Canada, haha)! Exciting!**

**DISCLAIMER: i never remember but you guys know i'm not secretly Stephenie Meyer. I'm just not.**

**BPOV**

Over the following two months, things quickly fell into a comfortable routine. Everyday the four of us would go to tutoring, attend session upon session where we would talk about our feelings and how we can better improve our lives, and venture out into the real world every Saturday to the mall, museums, the park, et cetera; all the while stealing every chance I got to spend time with Edward. But after Edward got busted those weeks ago for staying in my room over night I put my foot down on that…however much I wanted him to stay. There was no way I was going to let him get kicked out; I needed him here. Life at the Center seemed to brighten (if that was possible at that depressing place) when Edward arrived.

We came to an agreement that we would not speak about the incident at the dance. At least I did. Edward didn't like that I wouldn't tell anyone about what Mike tried to do to me and I can't quite understand either. I assumed it was my instinct for being the better person; it could really be annoying sometimes. This was one of those times. I had avoided Mike like the plague everyday and I was lucky enough to never run into him. In class I sat as far away from him as I could while Edward would send him glares the entire time; in any other circumstance, I would have found it amusing.

Edward and I seemed content on where our relationship stood with one another. Of course we couldn't have anything remotely serious in the place but we certainly had some secretive make out sessions in the best place in the building, the piano room.

The day for my release from the Center was quickly looming nearer. This was another topic we didn't talk about but I knew we were going to have to. Not just with Edward but with Alice as well. I would be leaving my best friend in a matter of weeks. The only thing that was making me feel better was the fact that she had _officially_ found the love of her life. Though the night of the dance was a disastrous one for myself, for Alice it was magical. Not my words. The two had become even closer if that was at all possible and I was seriously waiting for Jasper to propose any day now. I could only hope that Alice would be close to where I lived when we were both out of here.

Edward was another story. I was certain by now that I was starting to, if not already, fall in love with him, which scared me to no end. Before, when we weren't even together, I had been saddened at the thought of leaving him behind here…but now that we _were_ together? It wasn't even thinkable. Who knows, we were going off to college soon, maybe we'd get into the same one? That would be a miracle in itself.

I was now having no doubt that I would be released soon. Deciding to completely let go of the drugs really wasn't as bad of an experience as I thought it would be. I had been bordering sickly thin before but now I was back to my healthy, normal weight again. I think I was finally over cocaine.

"Hey," Edward poked me in my side, "you seem awfully quiet, what's up?"

"Just thinking," I shrugged and turned back to the work we were currently doing in class.

Edward sighed dramatically, "How I wish I could hear your thoughts."

I smirked, "Keep dreaming."

Edward grinned and turned his attention back to Mrs. Williams at the front of the classroom. I continued to look at Edward. Would I be able to see his bronze head of hair, his emerald eyes, his pronounced jaw line, his unbelievably soft lips again when we were both out of here? …I needed to stop thinking these things or I would implode. He caught me staring at him but he didn't look away and neither did I as I ignored the fact that I was a deep shade of red at that moment.

Alice, Jasper and especially Edward had noticed I had gotten quieter the past few days. I was silently sulking in depressing thoughts. But it was all for them.

* * *

"Ah, how I love Fridays," Alice sang as she skipped towards the cafeteria that evening while I gracelessly followed behind her. I couldn't agree with her more, though; Lame Movie Night had improved tenfold since Edward and I could comfortably sit close to one another without feeling completely awkward.

"Hello," Edward greeted me with my favourite crooked smile of his. I was a sucker for it.

"Hi," I replied not so elegantly.

One quick kiss later we were seated in the back of the cafeteria. We had had the epiphany that if we sit close to the back of the room where the staff can't see us we can sit closer to each other. It seemed so obvious after we thought of it.

I was actually beginning to get interested in the movie when I felt the presence of eyes on me. I turned to the left to look past Edward and saw Mike Newton. I involuntarily shivered as his cold eyes bore into mine. What had happened to the innocent, annoying puppy dog Mike?

Edward felt my shudder.

"What's wrong?" he whispered as he followed my gaze. His eyes immediately turned to slits. I could feel his entire body stiffen.

"Don't do anything, Edward, please," I pleaded. I did not need Edward getting in trouble for a third time.

He relaxed slightly and pulled me closer to his side. I smiled at his protective instinct. What would I have done if Edward hadn't come to the Center?

As soon as the movie ended I had to usher Edward out of the cafeteria before he could do anything rash. He had been doing okay these past weeks when it came to Mike because he seemed to also be avoiding me but now he seemed to be back to his creepy self. And I think Edward really wanted to go for a round two with him at this point.

Jasper noticed my distress and could tell Edward was causing it. After a few choice whispered words in Edward's ear, he seemed to calm down. I'm not sure what he told him but it always astounded me how Jasper was able to do that to a person.

"I'm sorry," Edward whispered to me.

I smiled, "It's okay. I actually liked your protectiveness. But I don't want you getting in trouble again."

"I'll try," he said in mock annoyance. He grinned then gave me a chaste kiss.

* * *

"Hey—" Edward was once again pulling me out of my thoughts. He had been doing that a lot lately which I was thankful for. "Come on," he urged, dragging me up off the couch.

I sighed in protest. Today was just one of those days where I didn't even want to pretend I was mildly happy. Just leave me to my melancholy thoughts.

"Please," Edward breathed, once again dazzling me for the millionth time.

I let him guide me up to the familiar corridor, which led to the piano room.

I grinned, "If you wanted to make out you could've just asked," I said cheekily.

Edward chuckled and gave me a passionate kiss, then continued his beeline towards the piano.

"Sit," he said in a rather excited tone. I had become used to hearing Edward play the piano. At first he had been quite self-conscious but after I frequently requested he play for me he got over it and happily obliged whenever I asked for him to play.

The room filled with the opening of a song I hadn't heard in a while. _My lullaby._ I had all but memorized this tune by now, all the way up until it cut off; Edward hadn't been able to finish it just yet.

As I leaned my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes to let the music fill me I immediately noticed it. The song continued. A grin spread on my face but I remained silent until the song was over to speak. The part I hadn't heard before moved me more than the beginning. It was filled with love and immense amounts of passion and hope. It was able to brighten my mood just like Edward could. Then the melody stopped.

"You finished it!" I stated the obvious, breaking the silence.

"Did you like it?" Edward asked anxiously.

"I loved it. Thank you so much, Edward," I said quietly. I could feel the traitor tears coming. "It means a lot…" I trailed off as a tear ran down my cheek.

Edward's brow furrowed as he lifted his hand to brush the water away. "Why are you crying?"

"Edward, have you not realized that I will be _leaving_ soon? In no more than two weeks! I don't want to leave now, how sad is that?" I mumbled.

"You have to. I certainly don't want you to but you've beaten this. You need to get back to the real world, to your family…and friends," Edward added sadly.

I didn't mention how I basically had no friends at my school. I was the black sheep of the school, so to speak. I could easily be spotted in the sea of tanned students with my pale skin. We lived in Phoenix, for pity sake. Shouldn't I automatically be gifted with beautiful, tan skin? Apparently I didn't get the memo. And while everyone strutted around in his or her designer clothing and stylish haircuts I stuck out like a sore thumb with my bland clothing and boring hairstyle. If only Alice had gone to my school, then I would have had at least _one _friend…and maybe I would've been a bit more fashionable with her help.

"I'm going to miss you…" I whispered. Edward's eyes seemed to darken with what I could only presume was sadness.

"Let's not think about that right now. Let's focus on the days we have left together," he said, "but I'm going to miss you too…" he breathed as he leaned in to softly kiss me.

**AN: So…I'm pretty sure I made them seventeen…but I have decided to make them seniors and soon to be college freshmen's so it can work better with my story. At least I think it does. At this point I'm just winging it again. It's worked pretty well so far.**

**Sorry for the embarrassing shortness of it…I tried to make it longer but it wouldn't work. At least it's over 1,500. I would never post a chapter that short. And for the record, nothing is going to happen with Mike again as far as I know but you never know. Maybe he could still be comic relief in his own freaky way? Who knows?**

**Again, I didn't know what to write for this chapter. Yes, I skipped ahead quite a bit. I thought it'd be better that way. Right now, I'm thinking five more chapters. I've got it mapped out too, which helps. How does that sound? Though, I'm not promising that they'll be lengthy. Review, please? (Seriously you guys, thanks so much so far for all the reviews…when I began I never _dreamed_ I'd make it to over 200! But I did, thanks to you supportive people! All together, 'Awww.')**


	14. Hide and Seek

**AN: 'Hide and Seek – Imogen Heap.' If you play this…at the emotional 'good-bye' part of this chapter…it's epic. Okay, not really, but just go with it.**

**Long Italics part is a Flashback, by the way, if no one catches on… but I doubt you all are as dense as I am so you'll get it. **

**Look! Another chapter! Maybe i'll get chapter 15 up before I leave! :D. Maybe.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, blah blah blah. Way to burst my bubble.**

**BPOV**

_This is it. Moment of truth. _Any minute now Dr. Reid's office door would open up and he'd usher me in. In that cramped little room he'd tell me my fate. Either I was rehabilitated or I wasn't. A yes or no answer. So why was he drawing it out so much? When I left I definitely wouldn't be missing the doctor. Even so, he did help me get better so I was forever grateful.

My left leg wouldn't stop bouncing while I devoured my bottom lip with my teeth. God, I wanted Edward to be sitting next to me through this but we both new how that would look. He would've been able to calm me down. Instead I had my mother beside me looking to be almost as nervous as I was. I could see the worry on her young face in the form of a wrinkled forehead. It looked misplaced on her. Renee was also biting her own lip, a nervous trait I had picked up from her. Not an encouraging site to see when you're waiting to hear if you can go home and be normal again. Yes, I _really_ needed Edward here with me right now. I smiled as I thought back to the day before with Edward.

_"Edward," I whispered not sure if I should be keeping my voice down, "where are we going?"_

_I could _hear_ the smirk in his voice, "I'm surprised you haven't figured it out."_

_My eyes were covered with a scarf and I was being led through the building by the guidance of Edward's hand gently but securely on my back while his other held onto my hand._

_"Okay, another flight of stairs. Careful," Edward cautioned._

_"Another!" I said, exasperation clear in my tone, "Why are—?"_

_I stopped my sentence short when a smile found its way onto my face. I felt like smacking my forehead with my hand but I'm sure that, with my eyes covered, that would only throw off my center of gravity and cause a disastrous outcome._

_"Yes Bella?" Edward asked innocently from my right, "Why what?"_

_"Hmph, never mind." Edward chuckled._

_Minutes later (yes, minutes later. I didn't care that Edward was right beside me, I wasn't going to risk tripping) we made it to our supposed destination._

_"All right, we're here," Edward's voice seemed to shake slightly at the end and I was suddenly all the more nervous for what Edward was about to show me._

_I bit my lip to suppress the uncharacteristic squeal surfacing from my excitement and nervousness._

_The sound of a doorknob turning and the creak of the door opening met my ears. Edward then guided me two steps into the room._

_"Wait here for one second," Edward murmured, pecking me on the cheek as he went. I could hear him move away from me and begin to rummage through something until I heard…was that the sound of a match being struck?_

_Edward was back in front of me quickly unfastening the blindfold from my eyes. His warm breath on my face alerted me to how close he actually was. With one final tug, the barrier concealing my eyesight was removed. My eyes on instinct blinked rapidly to readjust to the light but the room was already reasonably dark. I looked up to find Edward's green orbs gazing down at me._

_"Hi," I said quietly, breaking the silence._

_In response, Edward grinned his crooked smile and after one last long look at me, he stepped out of my line of sight so I could look around the room._

_We were in the piano room, of course, but that wasn't what caught my eye. In the center of the room there was a blanket laid out on the floor and on top of that was an assortment of food. The only light in the room was coming from the few flickering candles that were also atop the blanket._

_I looked back at Edward, "What's all this?"_

_He appeared to be nervous as he wrung his hands, "I know you probably were thinking that I didn't care that you are leaving tomorrow because I didn't want to talk about it but…" he took a step closer to me, "I _do _care. More than you can imagine. And," he gestured to the food on the floor, "I know it's not much; it's only cafeteria food I swiped from the kitchen but I just thought we could eat up here this evening for our last night together."_

_Tears were now forming in my eyes from his words. "Who said I was leaving tomorrow? I may not," I said weakly._

_"I know you will be. You're ready. I'm so proud of you. My selfish side wants to beg you to somehow stay but I know you have to go."_

_"Thank you," my voice quivered uncontrollably._

_A ghost of a smile played on his lips, "Why are you thanking me?"_

_I choked out what I hoped sounded like a laugh. He then gave me one of the most passionate kisses I had ever received from him. I could feel his tongue trace along my bottom lip, asking for entrance and I complied. My hands reached up and tangled in his messy hair, earning a moan from Edward. In retaliation, he pulled me closer as he ran his hands up and down my back. I tried to stifle the moan but to no avail and I could feel Edward grinning from his victory against my lips._

_We pulled away for air sometime later._

_"Let's eat, shall we?" Edward said with a big smile on his face. I laughed at his enthusiasm._

_We tried to keep the atmosphere light but we both knew deep down what the other was thinking. I was picking at the remains of my food when I couldn't stay silent any longer,_

_"Edward—"_

_"Bella," Edward said firmly while shaking his head slightly. He knew I was going to begin talking about the topic and he stopped me. The traitor tears were making their comeback once again._

_"Play for me, please," I whispered, changing what would have been the subject._

_Edward nodded his head in agreement and after helping me to my feet, he led us to the piano. My anxiety and fear were instantaneously calmed when the soft notes from the piano filled the room. I sighed in contentment from the sound but of course my mind had to wander to the question: _Would I ever hear this beautiful noise from him again?

Stop it now, Bella.

"_Bella," Edward whispered as he stopped playing. I looked up into his shining eyes, as he seemed to struggle with words. With one last sigh of frustration he turned fully to look at me, "I know you're leaving tomorrow- don't say anything; I have every confidence that you are- but I can't let you leave without you knowing…" Edward looked down for a moment to gather his thoughts and then returned his gaze to me and whispered, "Bella…I love you."_

_I love you._

Why hadn't I replied? I knew I loved him and yet I didn't say it back! And now I was about to leave this place for good and I'd never get the chance to tell Edward I loved him as well. But maybe this was for the best? No attachment so there would be less heartbreak in the end? Who was I kidding; I'd still feel like my chest was driven over by an 18-wheeler when I left.

It was fear that stopped me. I knew it. After years of observing my family I didn't have the greatest faith in love but I think I knew that Edward would never hurt me. So what was the problem?

"Isabella?" Dr. Reid was standing in the doorway of his office. _Now?! Wait! I don't think I'm ready!_

Renee tugged me into the room and we sat down in the familiar chairs, awaiting the verdict.

"Thank you for coming today, Mrs. Dwyer. I'm going to cut to the chase and save us all some time. Your daughter has shown tremendous progress over these past six months and I am proud to say," Dr. Reid looked over to me, "she is completely ready to leave the Center."

I let out the breath I hadn't realized I was holding at his words. I was leaving! This was what I wanted…right?

_Wrong. You know you want to stay here longer so you can be with Edward._

"Thank you, Doctor Reid. This means so much to us," Renee said looking over to me with a beaming smile.

I tried to convey happiness and was successful in faking it. But was I faking it? It was like I was straddling this invisible line. On one side, there was my freedom from this place. I would be set back into the real world where I was free to go where I pleased and I'd see my mother everyday again. On the other side, however, was Edward. Enough said. And there was Alice, my first real friend who treated me decently. I was beginning to get a headache from this thinking.

"Mom, can we please leave now?" I mumbled. "Thank you very much, Doctor Reid," I added and shook his hand.

"It was my pleasure, Isabella. I hope you stay on this new path."

I nodded. I definitely was. There was no way I was going back to doing cocaine. But I needed to get out of this please before I had an emotional breakdown in front of everyone where they would question my sanity.

My mother took my hand and led me through the waiting room to the doors of the exit.

"Bella!" my head whipped around at the sound of my name being spoken by that beautiful boy.

"Edward," I choked, once again crying.

He held my face in his hands as he looked at me with frantic eyes and then he kissed me. I could hear my mother gasp from behind me but she made no move to stop us.

"Edward—" I warned. Surely this would get him into more trouble if anyone saw. And with his luck, someone would see.

"I don't care," Edward said as he kissed me again, this time desperately. I pulled away a moment later to look at him again, memorizing every feature on him. I hugged him with all my strength then moved my lips to his ear, "I love you too."

I didn't look back to gauge his reaction but instead moved to Alice and Jasper who had appeared. I hugged Jasper and then hugged a crying Alice. It tore my heart in two to see her like this and I hated that I was the cause of it.

"I'll miss you," she whispered.

"I'll miss you too, Alice." I turned back to Jasper, "Take care of her."

He gave me a small smile and I was so happy that Alice would have him when I was gone. She couldn't have chosen a better person.

I refrained from looking back at Edward, too afraid of what I would see. So with that, I returned to my shocked mother and we walked out of the building that had become my home in a sense.

"Who was that boy?" was her first question.

"Not now, mom, please," I begged. I wouldn't be able to talk about him just yet.

Renee respected my privacy for now. During the car ride home, however, I could see her looking over at me every minute or so just itching to ask me her questions. She settled for,

"Honey, I'm so proud of you." She reached over to pat my arm. I attempted a weak smile for her but it probably came out as more of a grimace.

This wasn't good. How was I going to live like this without seeing Edward? I wasn't. Perhaps I could visit him somehow? Or maybe it would be best if I just…stopped thinking about him. But I knew that would be utterly impossible.

I remained silent the entire drive and even when we had made it home. Renee insisted she help me unpack. Even when I was now stable she seemed to think I was some fragile four-year-old child.

Phoenix Rehabilitation Center never seemed more like a haven then it did now.

**AN: Well, that was rather intense.**


	15. Lonely For Her

****

AN: 'Lonely For Her – Jack's Mannequin.' Well, you know. If not, 'Rough Hands – Alexisonfire,' that was actually my first choice.

**Another chapter! I'm on a roll, I swear.**

**Disclaimer!: I don't own Twilight!**

**EPOV**

"Edward, stop pacing please," Alice snapped in irritation.

I sent a glare her way, continuing my pacing of the common room.

"I should be there for her," I whispered. I _wanted _to be there sitting beside Bella as she received the happy news of her release from the Center. Well, happy news to an extent. Alice rolled her eyes and huffed,

"We know you think that. You've been saying it for the past," she paused to check the clock on the wall, "forty-five minutes."

"God, she's going to think I don't care again," I said as Jasper tried to put a calming hand on my shoulder. I swatted it away.

"Well then go see her. Gosh, I don't see what the problem is here," Alice spoke, "And stop pulling at your hair like that. You're going to rip it all out until you go bald and then I'll be forced to shun you."

I stopped to process what she said, ignoring her jab at my hair. "Go?" I inquired, I felt like an idiot. Maybe I was.

She sighed and then shouted, "Yes! Let's go!"

With a forceful push out the door from Alice, we hurried to Dr. Reid's office. My stomach felt like it had been invaded by vicious, killer butterflies as I anticipated seeing Bella again for what could very well be the last time. When we arrived there, though, she was nowhere to be found.

"Damn it!" I said, hitting the nearest wall, "She's already gone."

I looked to Alice, hoping that she could somehow fix things. All I found was a pixie with incredibly sad, teary eyes.

"No she isn't!" Alice said brightly all of the sudden, pointing across the room near the exit. Sure enough, I could see the mahogany head of Bella shuffling to leave the Center with who I guessed was her mother.

"Bella!" I yelled. She immediately turned around after I called her name. I ran over to her as quickly as humanly possible.

"Edward," she said weakly, her eyes beginning to water.

I captured her head with my hands as I gazed at her for what surely was the last time. I couldn't take it any longer and I kissed her.

"Edward—"

"I don't care," I cut off what would have been a warning. I _didn't_ care. I didn't care that her mother and god knows who else was blatantly staring at us. I didn't care that with these actions I might have to leave the place. I was throwing caution to the wind I guess you could say, as I pressed my lips to hers with all the strength I could muster.

All too soon Bella pulled away only to bring her beautiful lips close to my ear, "I love you too."

_I love you too._ I wasn't imagining things; she said it. I couldn't move as I silently rejoiced at these words. My heart was bursting at these new feelings. I thought I had been completely blissful before but knowing now that Bella returned these three important words blew those old, boring feelings out the window.

As soon as I was able to function properly again I had the sudden notion to grab Bella in my arms and make her stay. I needed her to say, I didn't care that I was being selfish. But as Bella said her farewells to Alice and Jasper she refused to make eye contact with me. Had I done something wrong? Did she not want to see me before she left? I was officially confused. When she left the building she didn't look back once. Out the door went my angel, the only person that would be able to keep me sane in this place.

"Well hey, looks like you didn't get caught this time, Edward," Jasper said in hopes of lightening our moods. For the first time he failed. Not even Jasper would be able to lift my spirits today.

* * *

Another month passed by and I was more depressed then ever. It was also showing in my progress with rehab. I found I no longer had motivation or momentum to keep trying. I found I was frequently thinking: Even if I _do_ get out of here, what are the chances that I'd get to see Bella again? We had failed to tell each other where we specifically lived, only that we both were living in the state of Arizona.

Alice and Jasper determinedly tried to cheer me up every day but it was a failed attempt each time; I was an empty shell. I had come full circle from when I first started rehab those months ago only it was worse now.

It just wasn't the same without Bella. The three of us needed her there to keep us together and now she wasn't. Alice was taking it just as bad as I was. She was no longer her normal, perky self. It was just not right. At least she tried to hide how much the loss of Bella affected her unlike me. I didn't care who saw me like this. I was a lost cause. Jasper felt completely helpless because not even he could fix our moods.

My need for heroin was coming back in full force. Each day it was harder to keep my emotions in tact. I couldn't have the doctor thinking that I needed to stay here any longer than I had to.

"Now Edward, I don't think you have been making any progress lately. However, today is your day to go visit your parents and I will allow it. Try and work harder, though, please," Dr. Reid said to me in his office.

I nodded numbly, not really taking in anything that he was saying except for the fact that I'd get to go home today even if it was for only a couple of hours.

"Hello Edward," Esme smiled warmly at me when I reached the doors to the Center. She seemed to be more in control of herself this time.

"Hi mom," I hugged her fully this time as well. It was just great to see familiar faces who loved me. _Now if only I could see Bella…_

This time at my house I wasn't so civil. I barely talked to my parents at dinner, only throwing in the 'mhm' or 'yes' when called for. I had to try calling Tyler again. I needed heroin. I didn't even care about the consequences that this would result in I just needed it. At this point, heroin would be the only thing that could comfort me. I had no Bella so a hit of heroin would be the second best thing. At least that was my theory.

_Pick up, pick up, pick up._

He picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hey Tyler, it's Edward," I said in a cool tone.

"H-hey, Edward."

"Yeah so listen; I'm _out _of rehab now and was hoping you'd have a hit for me?" I stressed the word 'out' thinking that might have been the reason Tyler wouldn't give me it last time.

"Oh. Really? That didn't last too long. They let you out but you're still using?"

"Yeah well, I can't stop. So do you have some or not?" I asked in a rush, my head felt like it was fit to burst.

"Yeah, sure man. Come by and I'll give you it," Tyler said.

"Thanks!" I said quickly. For the first time in a month I was smiling. A small smile, mind you, but clearly a smile.

My parents were located in the living room where I had been before I came up to my room. I snuck out the back door, practically sprinting to the garage where my Volvo was. I shoved the keys into the ignition and my smile widened as I heard the familiar purr of the engine. Luckily it was so quiet that it wouldn't alert my parents of my absence.

It felt so good to be driving again but I couldn't dwell on it for too long because I had little time to get to Tyler's. When I got there I went around the side of the house to the basement door and knocked. He answered within the minute.

"Hey man," Tyler greeted. He seemed to be less nervous now.

"Hey," I said shortly.

He wasted no time with small talk and for that I was grateful.

**(AN: Dude, I have no idea what I'm talking about here so just…carry on.)**

Tyler gave me the small packet of white powder but I protested,

"No," I shook my head, "I need more."

"What? But this is the normal amount. This is all you'll need, trust me."

"Tyler please, I haven't had some in so long. Just give it to me please," I could see the hesitance in his eyes and so I continued, "Look, I'll pay you double."

I held up a wad of cash as proof. Tyler's eyes widened and I could see him caving.

"Okay," he sighed as he took out another packet of the heroin. He took the money and gave me the drug.

"Thanks," I said as I grabbed it and booked it back to my car. I sped away until I was on a secluded road where I pulled off to the side of the road.

I snorted more than I usually would but the amount I'd normally take didn't suffice. I immediately felt the effects and my troubles disappeared after too many weeks of suffering. When I was content enough with where my mood was I started my car up again and headed home.

Once again I snuck through the back door and raced up to my room. However, it wasn't too long until I started to feel some unwanted effects. My sight became dizzy and I suddenly felt like I was going to bring up my dinner. I didn't have time to get to my bed when my body felt impossibly heavy and I fell to the floor.

I lied there for a minute not being able to move as I convulsed. I knew this feeling. I had experienced it once before. My parents must have heard me fall because in no time they were in my room.

Esme rushed to my side taking my head in her shaking hands.

"Edward!" she cried, "Edward, stay with me." I could feel her brush my hair away from my perspiring forehead but I didn't have the energy to open my eyes. I knew it wouldn't be long until I slipped into unconsciousness.

I could hear the last few words of Carlisle's conversation on the phone. He was obviously calling the hospital. I could make out that he wanted to be my doctor for this but it was against the rules; he was family...

And then I was gone.

**AN: … do you hate me? … be honest. Teh. Fyi…Edward's not dead. I thought I'd say that before I got any angry death threats from people.**

**Ah! It's so short! I'm embarrassed; don't look at me, heh. Sorry if it's super rushed and if there are mistakes. I really wanted to post this before I left. I hope that somehow tides you over for…a week and a half…sorry! I'll be home on Sunday night but I doubt I'll have time to write in between catching up with school…maybe I can write on the twelve-hour bus ride? :D Review please! We're at almost 300!!**


	16. Drugs or Me

**AN: 'Drugs or Me – Jimmy Eat World.' Finally! I have been waiting for this chapter just so I can use this song. It's unbelievably perfect and beautiful all at the same time. Listen!**

**Look who's back! Sorry for the disgusting long wait. I am currently trying to get back to my regular sleep pattern. I have learned that I cannot sleep on a moving bus, even when said bus breaks down in the early hours of the morning. Twice. Stupid cheap piece of metal. That lovely 12-hour bus ride home I mentioned turned into a 20-hour bus ride. But evs, some of just whipped out our violins and played on the side of the highway. Quite the site. Overall, Montreal was amazing. I am now set on going to McGill for University, haha, they won me over. Sneaky buggers. However, our orchestra was pitiful compared to the players from Connecticut. If you're one of those grade 6-8'ers that jammed with us. I dislike you right now. You, you're mad skills and your psychotic conductor. She was just scary. And yes, little kids showed up an orchestra full of 15-18 year olds. We're ashamed, don't worry.**

**I did try to write on the bus but it was extremely hard. Our bus driver not so much resembled Edward in the looks department but he sure as hell could give Edward a run for his money in driving insanely fast. I couldn't even look out the window. I wrote a page but as I read it now I can't help but laugh. Hopefully this is a bit better.**

**ALSO: My story has been NOMINATED on the Denali Coven site. I was speechless…I can't fathom why I would be nominated but I am extremely honoured! ******** Whoever nominated the story…well, thanks! I kinda laughed though; I found it hysterically ironic how I am the furthest thing from romantic and yet my fic is nominated for best romance. But you know what? I'm just going with it (even though I don't even find this story that romantic, to be honest).**

**So this AN was very long. Sorry. I'm sure you missed my rants these past days. Teh, not.**

**BPOV**

I had taken on the form of the living dead. That's just what I was. It appeared I was living on the outside, but on the inside I was completely dead. I had become the model daughter finally; no longer was I skipping school and doing drugs. Now I would attend every class, be home at 3:30 after school on the dot and I assisted in all the housework at home. My mother didn't know which to feel, proud or worried. Her only daughter had straightened up her act but what's the point in showering your daughter in praises when she's a walking zombie?

Yes, what should have been a happy month after my release from rehab was the polar opposite. How could I possibly celebrate when the boy I love and best friend were still trapped in that awful place? Awful place, yes, but I wanted nothing more than to be there with them.

It was amazing and rather shocking how dependant I had become on _him_. My newfound good mood I had when Edward arrived had plummeted. Simple things would remind me of him. I even would catch myself _thinking_ up reasons why objects could remind me of him. I couldn't even listen to songs with piano in them anymore. I desperately needed to hear my lullaby being played by that beautiful Greek God again.

Renee had tried on countless times to get me out of the house and socialize. It was a failed attempt every time. She had gotten over treating me like the perfect princess and was fed up with my actions (or lack thereof) at this point.

"Bella, I don't want to hear any complaining. A few of my girl friends and I are going to the beach today and they're bringing their daughters. You're coming and you will spend time with them."

She left little room to argue so I grudgingly pulled on my swimsuit, even though I knew I would definitely not be swimming, and a light outfit overtop. The drive to the beach was silent between my mother and I, but what was new?

"Be good, Bella, please?" Renee pleaded as we stepped out of the car.

"Yes, ma'am," I said bitterly. She gave me a hard stare but her face instantly warmed when she saw her friends waving her over as if they were directing air traffic.

"Hi! I'm Jessica!" I was halted in my tracks when a bushy-haired girl stepped in front of me, wearing a huge smile. I remembered my mother's warning and showed my attempt at a smile and replied,

"Bella," I said curtly and continued walking around her.

I plunked myself down on the warm sand and took in the view. I wouldn't lie; I had missed the beauty of the ocean and the feel of sand at my fingertips. My admiring was interrupted when the persistent Jessica returned this time flanked with two other girls. Jessica was quickly reminding me of another certain annoying character I knew back in rehab.

I could tell they didn't want to be here in my presence. They sat down near me, sure, but they continued their conversation as if I was just another meaningless grain of sand. Well, that was just fine with me.

"And so I told him: Jared, if you're going to cheat on me, like, at least have the decency to tell me first, you know?" Jessica said while her two dimwitted friends nodded their heads in agreement. I sighed in frustration; feeling like my IQ was dropping every second I was near these three.

Jessica turned her attention to me and scrutinized me. "Is there something wrong?" she said sweetly.

"No, of course not, if you'll excuse me…" I smiled just as sweetly back to her and then stood up to leave. I headed to where Renee and the other mothers were laying.

"Mom," I said quietly, "can we leave?"

Renee lifted her sunglasses up, annoyed. "Bella, we just got here twenty minutes ago, go back with the other girls."

Sighing heavily, I said a little too loudly, "I don't _want_ to! They can't even say one sentence without using the word _like_! I feel like an idiot just being here with them!"

I heard Jessica gasp from behind me. When had they come over here?

"I told you she was unstable. I heard she just got out of rehab. If you ask me, she was probably released a little too early," she whispered to her friend but loud enough for me to hear.

I fought the urge to lunge at her and instead turned on my heel to head back to car and wait the time out. However, fate had another plan. My clumsiness caught up to me as I walked over a patch of rocks and my foot caught on one. I tripped and landed oddly on my left wrist. As I sat up I felt a sharp stab shoot through my wrist and I was sure it was sprained if not broken.

"Oh, Bella…" Renee came rushing over and helped me stand up. She gently touched my wrist and I let out a yelp. She turned back to her friends. "I'm sorry, girls, I'm going to have to take Bella to the hospital. I'll talk to you all later."

They quickly said their goodbyes and Renee ushered me to the car. We unfortunately lived a fair way away from the nearest hospital so we had to drive for quite some time.

"Maybe you should go live with you father…" Renee said quietly.

"What?" I asked, surprised.

"A fresh start would probably do you some good."

"Mom, I don't need to move, I'm fine right here," I said sharply. "I'll get over it," I added sadly but I didn't believe my words for a second.

It turned out my arm was thankfully not broken but I had to wear a thin cast on it for two weeks. The outcome could have been so much worse so I was contrite with this news.

I got antsy waiting with Renee to fill out paperwork so I decided to take a walk around the hospital and get a drink. At the vending machine, I saw a familiar face buying water with a woman I hadn't met before.

"Dr. Cullen?" The man turned around at the sound of his name and landed his eyes on me.

"Isabella," he said in a calm voice, "the hospital again, I see?"

Carlisle had met me quite a few times in the past two years at the hospital, enough for us to be on a first name basis. He would always mend any broken bones or wounds I'd receive from my clumsy behavior. Carlisle was always pleasant to talk to and was very good at his occupation. I could tell he had a lot of compassion for helping people. He did not seem to judge me when he found out about my drug problem. He was disappointed but he seemed to somehow understand in a sense. I noticed this time I saw him, though, that his face didn't hold the same light it normally did.

I held up my bandaged wrist, "Tripped on some rocks at the beach."

He gave me a small smile and then wrapped an arm around the woman standing beside him. "Bella, this is my wife Esme, Esme this is one of my patients, Isabella."

The woman smiled the best she could; I could tell she had recently been crying. "It is very nice to meet you, Isabella," she said as she gathered me into a warm hug.

"Please, call me Bella," I requested. She nodded in response.

I took a moment to observe the couple and their faces looked worn.

"It's probably none of my business but is something wrong?" I asked worriedly.

Esme's face immediately looked pained and she seemed to fighting the urge to cry again while Carlisle's face turned grim.

"Our son is in the hospital. He's…sick," Carlisle chose his words carefully.

"Oh," I replied, not wanting to press matters, "well I hope he gets better. See you later Carlisle, Esme." I waved with my good hand and turned around to head back to my mother.

My thoughts drifted to him…could it have been a coincidence that Carlisle shared the same surname as _him_? It must have been. Besides, he wouldn't be in the hospital he's in rehab.

As I walked past the nurses' station, though, I heard something that caused me to stop dead in my tracks.

"Bertha, bring Mr. Edward Cullen his meds, it's past two," a plump nurse said in an annoyed tone.

I swallowed a visible gulp. It couldn't… he couldn't be here, he just couldn't. What had happened? I began to panic but I was sensible enough to follow the nurse in hopes of seeing him. I was about to scream, she wasn't moving fast enough! She finally made it and I all but plowed her down in the doorway.

"Here you are, Mr.— Ahh! Miss, you can't be in here!" she said frantically. I ignored her as my eyes found the sleeping form of none other than my Edward. Only it wasn't the Edward I had grown used to. This Edward looked almost dead, with his skin a sickly pale colour and a thin sweat evident on that skin. Under his eyelids, which covered the pair of gorgeous green eyes I had so desperately wanted to see the entire month, were heavy purple bags. I didn't need anyone to tell me; Edward had relapsed. _Oh, Edward! How could you do this to me? You were doing so well!_

"Miss, please, you must leave, you're not family," the annoying nurse spoke again, tugging on my arm. I ripped my arm from her grasp and sat down beside Edward, taking his hand in my hand that wasn't bandaged. I felt his hand tighten around mine, instinctively.

The nurse huffed and gave up, storming out of the room. Good choice.

"Edward," I whispered, "Why?" As much as I was happy to see his face again I was angry. This would set him back so far. It would most likely be more than a few months until I saw him again. I couldn't control myself as I began to sob tears of sadness, happiness, anger, and frustration.

"Bella?" an astonished asked from the doorway. I looked up to find Carlisle and Esme. I knew it. They were Edward's parents.

"Uhm…" I stuttered, quickly wiping my tears away from my face. This was awkward. I was practically hanging off their son crying my eyes out.

"What are you doing here?" Carlisle inquired.

"I…sort of know your son," I said. I could see the looks of confusion on their faces so I continued quietly, "I met him in rehab."

Realization spread across Carlisle and Esme's faces as I told them this.

"I take it you're a bit more than friends?" Esme asked quietly as she noticed I retook Edward's hand. Embarrassment flooded my cheeks in the form of a fierce blush.

"Uh…well," I really was having a difficult time forming a sentence. "I guess you could say that," I said nonchalantly, though I could tell Esme realized we were more.

I sighed, giving up, "Look, I'm in love with your son. This past month that I've been out of rehab has been hell, to put it bluntly. I couldn't stand being away from Edward," I confessed, earning a smile from Esme.

"I figured it was you when I met you in the corridor. Edward wouldn't stop talking about you a couple months ago when he visited us, I don't even think he realized he was doing it. I can see the affect you have on him and it's wonderful to see. I could see happiness apparent on his face but I'm sad to say this past month when he visited he looked…hollow and not himself. I take it was because of your absence," Esme said.

I was shocked by her words. I had had this much affect on Edward?

"He didn't…" I motioned to Edward's slumbering form, "do this because of me…did he?" Esme looked between the two of us sympathetically and she didn't have to say a word for me to know the answer. I had caused Edward to almost die from overdose. Guilt was the number one thing on my mind at that moment. How could I do this to him? My eyes began to water again as I looked at Edward's depleted, peaceful face.

"Is he going to be okay? I mean overdose victims can sometimes get permanent damage…"

"No," Carlisle said, "Edward will be fine, we're certain."

I breathed a sigh of relief.

"We'll leave you alone…"Esme suggested, pulling Carlisle out behind her.

Not a minute later, the greatest relief came to me. Edward's eyes fluttered open.

"Bella?" he asked groggily, squeezing my hand weakly.

"Edward," I whispered through tears.

"What are you doing here? Not that I'm complaining…I missed you," he said in one breath. I choked out a laugh.

I held up my busted wrist and it was all the evidence he needed, "I missed you, too," I replied, leaning down for a kiss. He immediately deepened it and I happily went along. I stopped moments later and pulled away.

"You're making it really hard for me to be mad at you right now," I said, narrowing my eyes seriously. Edward showed a look of confusion. "Why did you do this? You were doing so great in rehab and then you go and do a stupid thing like this!" I snapped angrily.

Edward's eyes filled with guilt and sadness. "I'm sorry," he whispered, "I know it's no excuse and I'm not blaming you…but when you left I become this pathetic thing. I couldn't function. Going back to heroin seemed like the only way to cope. I know it was very insensible and I regret it fully. Now it's going to take even longer for me to get out and see you again."

I inwardly winced, remembering the talk with my mother in the car earlier but I didn't voice my thoughts.

"It'll be okay," I said, "everything will work out." I tried to believe it myself.

Edward nodded his head slightly appearing to be lost in his own thoughts.

"Hey," I said all of the sudden, changing the depressing topic, "it turns out I know you dad. I've known him for a while now; I'm his patient. I never made the connection between you two, though. I met your mother today as well, she is very nice," I said as I smiled, remembering her kind nature.

Edward gave his own crooked smile, "I'm glad you think so. I love them very much."

I was going to continue our conversation when I remembered my own mother was waiting somewhere for me probably in search for me. No doubt this would give her another reason to send me to Forks, Washington.

"Oh my gosh, I have to go, my mother is probably going berserk wondering where I am," I informed him, reluctant to leave.

Edward's face visibly dropped as he nodded his head. "All right. I'll see you…later," we both knew we wouldn't be seeing each other for quite a while if not ever again. "I love you," he added. This brought a smile to my face.

"I love you, too," I grinned against his lips. We heard a small squeak from the doorway and we both looked up at the same time. Carlisle and Esme had returned and were now standing in the doorway. Esme had her hand covering her mouth as her eyes watered. I took this as my queue to leave.

As I passed Esme she gave me another hug.

"We'll be seeing you again," Esme said confidently.

"I hope so," I whispered back.

**AN: It's longer! I'm quite happy; I was getting sick of the shortish chapters. Carry on and review. We're at almost 350! Whoa! And I'm excited to say on my long bus drive I thought up another story idea after this one. A vampire one. I though I'd take a crack at it. I hope it's original :S.**


	17. Starlight

**AN: 'Starlight – Muse.' Yup, I have an addiction to Muse. This is might just be my favourite song by them. Possibly.**

**So this sucked; after I uploaded the last chapter I was like, "Aw shit…now what?" I couldn't even decide on which POV to do. I started writing Edward's but then quickly decided I'd leave that for the next chapter. Looking out on bright side for once At least I have part of the next chapter written already :).**

**Okay guys, you really are astounding me. I mean, 48 reviews? That's frickin' amazing, the most for one chapter yet. I love your support.**

**BPOV**

When I found my mother in the hospital again she was fuming. The foolish smile plastered to my face from seeing Edward quickly vanished.

"I'm sorry?" I tried. It was a lie; I didn't care if I made her _murderous_, I had to see Edward.

"Where were you?" she asked in a tone that said she didn't really care at this point, that she was just exhausted with my antics. She closed her eyes in frustration and put her hand to her forehead. The guilt that I was doing this to her was coming at me via intimidating waves.

"I was…visiting a friend. I didn't know they were in the hospital," I said cautiously as Renee's eyes snapped open and flashed with confusion. "I saw Dr. Cullen and I met his wife, Esme; she's very sweet," I said quickly in hopes of distracting Renee from the topic of Edward. Though, the two topics were technically connected.

It worked, her eyes immediately softening. I internally smirked, Renee had always acted flustered around Carlisle but I couldn't blame her. I imagined most of the female staff of the hospital flirted with him on a regular basis. I didn't see Carlisle this way; yes, he was handsome (the similarities between Edward and his father were uncanny) but I saw him as more of a father figure.

"Oh, did you? How is Dr. Cullen?" I hesitated with my answer. He wasn't okay at the moment that was for sure.

"He's fine," I lied. I wasn't positive of what Renee would do if she found out about Edward and I. She hadn't mentioned the scene she saw at PRC because i think she thought it was a one time thing, but I believe if she discovered I was dating (could we really call it dating? We hadn't officially gone out…) a boy from rehab…that would probably send her over the edge and would no doubt be booking me a flight to Washington within the hour. She smiled a kind smile in return.

"Come on," she sighed, a little less tense this time. I happily followed. I didn't want to spend any more time in this hospital than I had to with its sickly bland walls and humming fluorescent lights. The moment I thought this I knew it was a complete lie; I would be returning to this place as soon as I could to visit Edward.

The quiet drive home this time was spent in a comfortable silence but I felt the need to apologize for my childish behavior earlier.

"I'm sorry, mom, about to today. I didn't mean to ruin your day with your friends."

"It's fine, Bella," Renee said rather sadly. "I'm thinking about taking up pottery!" she said excitedly all of the sudden as if she had never been sad in the first place.

I sighed, "Mom, you tried pottery classes last year. You got sick of it after the third class."

"Well, I don't think I gave it a fair chance. I'm sure if I stuck with it I'd love it. You can come with me!" she grinned.

"Sure mom," agreeing to both things she said, though I knew I'd never go with her to that class. A horrific picture came to my mind of myself covered from head to toe in pottery clay. _No doubt that would happen to me if I went. Definitely not going._

The house was quiet when we arrived home.

"Where's Phil?" I asked.

"Away with the team," she sighed. "He should be back in a week," she added, trying to sound positive but failing miserably.

That pesky guilt feeling was just continuing to gnaw at me. It was determined to eat me whole, I could tell.

It was quickly dawning on me that I was hurting everyone in my path. Alice, Edward, my mother, even Edward's parents…the sad part was that I hadn't even realize I was doing such a thing. But the evidence was clear in my mother's eyes that she was hurting. I'm sure if I looked into the eyes of Edward and Alice I'd find the same emotion. And now it seemed I was hurting myself with the thought that I could be such a cruel person. It stung me deeply.

Maybe it _would _be best if I just left? I could go live with my father. He was already broken. He never did get over the divorce. Charlie never voiced this but I could tell whenever I visited him; he was easy to read like myself. Maybe that would make living there easier, another wounded person to sympathize with me. I doubted I'd make any close friends in Forks so I had no need to worry about breaking anyone there.

Suddenly my outlook on the idea of moving in with Charlie was brightening. I did _not_ want to leave Edward but I was being selfish; he'd figure out that he could do so much better than me and move on. It would kill me but at least I'd know he was happy.

It was something to think about…

The rest of my evening was spent struggling through schoolwork. Specifically math. I had been trying my hardest to catch up in school, though it wasn't too hard because I had endured at least some form of education in rehab. I was, however, missing my own personal math tutor now. That said tutor being Edward.

I was back to that hated school with the hateful, tanned, perfect people. Before, the school population would treat me like carpet, not thinking twice about walking over me. I basically didn't exist. Of course they knew _of _me, James' friends seemed to have made sure of that but they shunned me. Now, everyone seemed to recognize me and _stare _at me. Somehow they had found out about my little visit to rehab. Sadly, this was understandable. Half the girls' middle names at my school seemed to be Gossip. So as I would walk through the halls, I felt like Moses, parting the seas in my way. You had to live it to really grasp how uneasy a feeling it was. This only added to my steady growing list of reasons to move to Forks.

The following day was a Sunday so I was thankfully able to go visit Edward. I could feel my sanity slowly coming back to me with his presence again and I loved him for it. After telling Renee I was going to the library to catch up on some studying, **(AN Does anyone actually do that nowadays?)** I borrowed her Volkswagen to go over to the hospital.

I pulled up to the all too familiar building after the long drive (but oh, was it worth it) and entered through the automatic sliding doors. I felt silly as I tried to head to Edward's room but had to stop when I remembered I hadn't made note of his room number. A young nurse was stationed at the desk on Edward's floor. I at least remembered what floor he was on. She looked up with a blank stare as I approached.

"May I help you?" she said flatly, not even trying to be polite. I looked down at her nametag; _Tanya_ my mind sneered.

"Yeah, can you tell me Edward Cullen's room number?" I asked just as impolite.

"Are you family?" she said while her eyes narrowed the slightest bit.

"No…"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Cullen can only see family members right now," Tanya said smugly. I gritted my teeth and was about to retort when I heard my name being said in recognition.

"Ah, Bella," Carlisle said, coming out of a room. He was working today. "Fall down again?" he teased.

I rolled my eyes jokingly, "I was hoping I could see Edward?" I was all of the sudden shy for some reason.

"Of course," Carlisle replied. I shot the nurse a smug smirk and she narrowed her eyes further. I was starting to think she didn't want me to see Edward out of jealousy. This caused my smirk to grow. Carlisle looked between the two of us with confusion before he lead me in the opposite direction of where I would have headed, had I not _tried_ to ask for help. Carlisle did not follow me in, respecting our privacy.

I was met with the scene of Edward eating his lunch. He looked up from his—was that _corn_?

"Bella," he greeted with a brilliant smile.

"Hey," I smiled back as I pecked him on the lips and plopped myself down in the uncomfortable chair by his bed. I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to ask the infamous _'How are you feeling?'_ knowing that when people asked me that it annoyed me to no end. I settled on "How are you?" That was probably just as bad.

"I'm…content," he said after searching for a word. He did look better even after only a day. He didn't look like death anymore and he seemed more awake and alert.

I grinned at his improvement, proud of him, and then looked down at the tray of food rested in his lap. My stomach immediately churned in disgust.

"Ewe! Edward, do you even know what you're eating?" I asked, incredulous.

He looked down at the substance for a moment in thought. "I believe its roast beef," he said, prodding the 'beef' with his plastic fork. "I'm suddenly missing the food at rehab. Is that sad, or what?" he joked.

I snorted, but then thought of an idea, "Well, did you want me to sneak you in something actually edible? I imagine a burger is sounding awfully good right now."

His eyes lit up. "Could you?" he asked, not hiding the excitement in his voice, "I mean you don't have to…"

"Hush, of course I will. I'll be right back." I made to get up when Edward grabbed me and pulled me down to give me what I thought would be a chaste kiss. However, I was pleasantly surprised when I felt his tongue enter my mouth, not even waiting for permission. I was shocked…that I liked it so much. I pulled away needing air and I looked at him inquisitively, wondering where that came from.

"I have to make up for a lost month's worth of kisses," he said simply, answering my unvoiced question. I grinned again and reluctantly left the room to get the poor boy his food.

I sped quickly to the nearest burger joint to get his food and made it back to the hospital in record time. Passing by the nurses' station on my return, I snuck in a glare for good measure at the annoying nurse.

Edward was waiting patiently in his room when I arrived back. _Well, where would he go?_ I thought. He immediately eyed the bag of food I brought for him and I couldn't help the laugh that slipped from my lips. He made it look like I was holding the most scrumptious food known to man.

"Jeepers, do they even feed you in this place?" I asked. I mentally snickered, thinking I should know this answer seeing as I had spent so much time in here before but I had surprisingly never had to stay over night.

"Not really," he said absentmindedly as he shoved the tray of unholy food that was still on his bed away precariously.

He all but devoured the cheeseburger, thanking me through mouthfuls every chance he got. I just laughed as I grabbed a fry. He playfully narrowed his eyes at me.

"What do you think you're doing?" he asked, fighting back a smile.

"I thought I deserved a reward for my labour," I explained.

He grinned widely as he pulled me so that I was lying on the bed with him. "I can think of a much better reward than a measly French fry," he muttered as he crashed his lips to mine.

I let out a small moan, enjoying this position greatly; that is, until I certain person walked in. A certain nurse that went by the name of _Tanya._

"Oh, I'm sorry. Am I interrupting something?" she asked, not at all sorry.

"Yes," Edward answered for me. His voice was filled with disdain and annoyance. I smiled outwardly at the thought of him not liking this vile woman.

Her face fell and she tried to gather herself, "Yes well, here is your medication." She thrust the pills into his hand and strutted out of the room without another word, purposefully swaying her hips a lot more than necessary. A wave of jealousy surged though me at her amazing ability at being seductive but when I looked up at Edward I was happy to see that he wasn't even looking in her direction but he still had that annoyed expression on his beautiful face.

"I sense some hostility towards Tanya?" I asked with a smile.

"You know her?" he asked, raising an eyebrow in question.

I rolled my eyes, "I had the pleasure of meeting her out in the hall. She seemed determined to not let me see you."

It was Edward's turn to roll his eyes, "I'm so sorry you had to endure her. She's very…persistent…and not at all good at taking a hint; well, numerous hints," he added as his upper lip curled in disgust. I decided I didn't even want to know what she may have done or said to Edward; better for her safety.

I lied in his arms for another hour, talking lazily with him, until I remembered where my mother thought I was.

"I have to go," I mumbled against his chest, though I didn't want to.

"No," Edward protested, tightening his arms around my form.

I grudgingly untangled myself from him and stood up. I looked down to see the most adorable sight I had ever seen. Edward was pouting. I laughed freely and kissed his jutted out lip. His pout instantly transformed into a crooked smile. My favourite.

"I'm sorry, but I really do have to leave," I said.

He sighed dramatically, "If you must."

"I do," I said sadly, "but will you still be here tomorrow?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

He nodded his head. Never had he looked more like a little, innocent child then he did just then.

"Then I'll come visit you straight after school," I grinned at my masterful plan. Edward's face brightened ten fold.

"I'll be waiting," he said sincerely. He pulled me down for the third and final time that day to give me a tender kiss and with that I left. "I love you!" he called out when I was out in the hall.

"I love you, too!" I said, loud enough for Tanya to hear from where she was sitting. I giggled at her seething expression and all but skipped out of the hospital. Might I say, that was a first.

My happy spirits dropped when I returned home. My mother had seen better days and the sight of her lying on the couch staring but not really watching the TV was pitiful.

"Mom?" I started, kneeling down in front of her, "What's wrong?"

The tears, as if on their own accord, burst from her and her strong façade turned to blubber. "I miss Phil," she whispered shakily. Her breakdown shattered my heart and I lost it. I couldn't keep doing this to her. My only option was to leave. I saw no other way around it. My leaving would allow Renee to travel _with_ Phil instead of having to be left behind every time he had to travel away from home.

Then my mind brought up Edward. I couldn't leave him _again_…

But maybe…I could come back and by the time that happens Edward would be out of rehab? Oh, who was I kidding? Even if I were here when he was released I'd live too far away. This was probably for Edward's best anyway.

With a new determined mind, I turned back to my mother.

"Mom," I said, "I think I'm ready to take you up on that suggestion."

"What suggestion?" she asked tiredly.

"To move in with Dad. In Forks."

**AN: Bum bum bum! She's leavin' again! Silly Bella; so selfless and yet…so stupid. Go ahead and hate me. S'all right. I'm sure you'll hate me even more for the next chapter. But actually, I'm kind of proud of my filler-ish chapter. Better then I thought it would be. The story's not over yet! I didn't think I'd actually be sending her to Forks until…a couple minutes ago…but now I'm thinking that will give us at least another chapter. Maybe I'll throw in a certain young, Mr. Black? Yeah, most likely so watch out. I just don't know how well I'll be able to write him :S But the point is, there's still more to come!**

**Review to your little hearts' content, my wonderful readers!**


	18. Not Now

**AN: 'Not Now – Blink-182.' I friggin' love this song to pieces and so should you. It's not really…all depressing-y and slow like it probably should be for this chapter but does it look like I care? I didn't think so. Lyrics work. Oo! okay, 'Note to Self - From First to Last.' Love.**

**Bahahahaha! Wooow, I didn't think I'd get such a reaction out of you all for mentioning Jacob but it was **_**quite**_** amusing! For future reference, you shouldn't take me so seriously when I think of an idea and run it across you guys; my head's too impatient to stick to one thing. But it was good to get feedback and know that you guys detest the idea of Jake coming into the story…I actually didn't really want him in it either, I don't know what I was thinking at the time (I'm actually being serious and that worries me). A reviewer gave me an idea, though, on what to do when Bella moves (yes, she will be moving, so suck it up :D ) and I might be going with it. I'll let you know when I get to…it. Proceed.**

**EPOV**

Seeing Bella's face crumple as she took in the sight of me sickened me. I was disgusted with myself. I didn't understand why she was still visiting me and sticking around. She was free now which meant she could go wherever she pleased and _see _whomever she pleased. She could easily find a more suitable boyfriend…one who just so happened to _not_ be a complete druggie and failure. And yet she stood by me, trying in vain to reassure me of my pureness.

"It won't be too much longer, Edward," Bella interrupted my self-loathing session. "Another day and you'll be out…of the hospital, at least," she added with a sad smile. I didn't ever want to leave, though, knowing this was the only chance I'd get to spend time with Bella.

"I'm sorry," I said for what must have been the hundredth time. "I was so stupid to—"

"Got any twos?" Bella cut me off. I decided to let her change the topic.

I looked back down to the playing cards I was holding in my hands and smirked. I shook my head. Bella's hopeful face dropped to a scowl and she chucked her cards down.

"You win," she mumbled. She really wasn't that great at Go Fish. I don't even know how that's possible. Bella uncrossed her legs from her sitting position and wiggled her toes in front of me, "My feet are asleep," she explained. I smiled at how cute she looked. I couldn't help but detect a hint of sadness in her eyes, though, and it was killing me to know what causing her pain.

"Bella?" I began cautiously. She looked up from her brightly striped socks and gave me her attention. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, Edward," she said with a forced smile.

"Bella, something's the matter, I can tell," I said. When I saw that she was still hesitating I added, "You know you can tell me anything, don't you? I love you."

This appeared to be the wrong thing to say as Bella visibly winced at this. My stomach dropped at the look on her face. Something was definitely up. My first thought: _Is she breaking up with me? I knew I didn't deserve her…_

"Edward…" She started. _Oh, here it comes…_

"Edward," another voice said. Dr. Young, my assigned doctor, walked into my room. He didn't wait for my acknowledgement but continued speaking. "I have good news. You seem to have recovered phenomenally and I'm pleased to tell you that you'll be able to return to the rehabilitation center today," he informed me with a kind smile.

Bella broke out into a smile and she grabbed me into a bone-crushing hug. "I'm so proud of you," she whispered into my ear. My brows knitted together in confusion but she couldn't see because she was still hugging me.

"Why?" I asked. I still couldn't comprehend how she could find something in me to be proud about. I had messed up time and time again. She pulled away showing a took of annoyance,

"Why must you think so lowly of yourself all the time?" she said, exasperated. I thought she was being a bit hypocritical at this; she was always claiming that she was unattractive and not worth the time of day. How wrong she was. Before I could retaliate, which was probably for the best, a throat was not so subtly cleared. Both of our heads snapped to the sound and found Dr. Young still there. I had completely forgotten his presence; it's easy when you have a stunningly beautiful girl in such a close proximity to you.

"Sorry," we both mumbled.

He gave a stiff smile and finished briefing me on my release from the hospital…if only I could've automatically been released from rehab as well. I replied to his questions when needed but not in the cheerful mood I imagined I was supposed to be expressing. At least not the happy mood Bella seemed to be experiencing. Was she happy at the prospect of being rid of me soon?

As I walked out of the room after being checked over one last time, I found Bella patiently waiting for me in the waiting room.

"Hey," I said as a way of making my presence known. She seemed to be in deep thought and I wanted nothing more than to be able to hear what was running through her mind. I suddenly remembered that Bella was going to tell me something before Dr. Young interrupted us earlier in my room. "So, what were you going to tell me?" I said, trying to come off as sounding calm.

She scrunched her face up in realization and turned to face me.

"Edward…I love you. I want you to know that," she said but then muttered under her breath, "That probably wasn't the right thing to say." I guessed that was not supposed to be for my ears but I still heard it and it hurt like hell. "I mean…I—" she was struggling with words. I was really getting anxious to hear what she was trying to saying, so much that I could hear the blood pounding in my ears. Again, she resigned to look down at her feet.

"Bella?" I prodded but winced when it came out more as a whimper. I was pathetic; pathetically in love with someone I was beginning to think didn't love me back, even if she was claiming it in front of me.

"I'm moving, Edward," she said quietly. My head snapped up at this.

"What?" I asked in confusion. This was not what I was expecting.

"I just think it's for the best… My mother was recently remarried and she hasn't been able to spend _any _time with him because he travels a lot. It's my fault, she has to stay behind for me," she said sadly. I sat there shocked for a moment, forgetting the ability to form words.

"And don't tell me that your overdose wasn't because of me. I feel so guilty, if you hadn't have met me…" she trailed off.

"Bella…" I managed to get out. "No. No, don't do this. It wasn't your fault for either thing. I…it was _my _fault for the overdose; I wasn't thinking clearly." It was half a lie. It _was_ over the depression I felt from losing Bella but it was true that I wasn't thinking clearly. I would never blame her for it. But if I had done that when she left, and we weren't even broken up…how would I be able to cope now? "Please," I breathed desperately.

She averted her eyes from me and gave a small shake of her head. "It's for the best," she said again.

"So…we're breaking up?" I asked in a whisper, trying to make sense of the whole situation and needing clarity.

"Yes," she whispered back. She was crying now. As much as I hated to see her cry, I took this as a good sign. Bella must have not wanted to break up as much as she seemed to want to. Maybe _she_ wasn't thinking clearly? I hung onto that idea desperately. I didn't want to accept the fact that she didn't love me anymore but it was inevitable. My selfish side was lashing out again, scoffing at my earlier thoughts on how she should move on to someone who deserved her. _Well, I'm getting what I wanted, _I thought bitterly. "I just can't keep hurting everyone around me," she said, explaining further. My brow furrowed in confusion.

"Bella, you're not hurting anyone. Don't leave," I pleaded.

She shook her head, "I have to." She stood up to leave.

"No, you don't," I protested, standing up as well.

She looked up at me sadly and stood on her toes to kiss me on the cheek. "Goodbye."

I watched as her form retreated down the hall to the exit of the hospital. I was left to stare into nothingness in the hospital waiting room, trying to cling to the feel of her lips against my cheek.

"Edward," Carlisle addressed from behind me. I slowly turned around to be faced with my parents. He took in the sight of me -presumably I looked like hell- and asked what was wrong. I silently shook my head. I did not want to talk about something I could barely fathom. I could tell Esme was itching to solve my problem, it was her motherly instinct; she looked to be on the verge of tears and she didn't even know what the matter was.

Throughout the car ride back to the rehabilitation center I didn't speak. Nothing was even running through my mind, I was just numb. I was getting worried glances from my parents but I didn't think anything of it.

As we pulled up to the building, my mind finally decided to snap to attention. I did _not_ want to step foot back into that dreaded place; I wanted to go find Bella and shake her until she agreed to stay. I wanted to convince her that nothing was her fault like she seemed to think it was and most importantly, I needed her to know I still loved her. But these thoughts came to a screeching halt when I tried to wrack my brains in hopes of remembering where Bella said she was moving. She didn't. I _knew_ she told me where her father lived but I couldn't for the life of me remember the state.

"Welcome back, Edward," Dr. Reid greeted me at the entrance. Ugh, another reason I didn't want to return. I couldn't help but to think that I _wasn't_ imagining smugness in his tone. I mumbled a 'hello' and turned my back on him to say goodbye to my parents…again. It was suddenly feeling like I was experiencing Déjà vu. _Now if only the love of my life was somewhere in the building waiting for my return it would be as if nothing had happened._ I tuned the doctor out as he spoke about god knows what and I waited patiently for my cue to retreat back to my room and stay there for the remainder of my time there.

I didn't get far when I was ambushed by Alice and Jasper.

"Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes?" the pixie said angrily. "Where have you been?"

I sighed deeply, "The hospital." I could see Alice working it out in her head until Jasper stepped in.

"You did, didn't you?" I did. He knew.

"What! What did he do?" Alice asked anxiously, looking between us.

"I had a relapse," I said quietly.

"Oh, Edward," Alice groaned. She put a hand over her eyes in frustration. "Now tell me, how do you expect to get out of here faster to see Bella when you go and do something like this? Who knows how long you'll be in here now."

I felt like a sharp knife had impaled my chest at the mention of her.

"I won't be seeing her again," I mumbled dejectedly. Alice's hand flew from her face to reveal frantic eyes.

"What do you mean by that? Of course you will. She'll wait, she loves you," Alice said.

And she was twisting the blade deeper.

"She visited me in the hospital. She's decided to move. Thinks everyone's pain is her fault." I could only form simple sentences at this point.

Alice showed a horrific face at this information. "I'm going to kill that foolish, selfless girl. Who does she think she is? She's going to wish she never left after I make her go shopping with me for 30 hours straight."

"Stop Alice, please. I don't want to talk about it. I just want to go to my room," I sighed, if only I could sleep away my problems. At this point sleep would probably only worsen the nightmare, exaggerating it to the extreme.

Alice slumped in defeat and nodded her head while Jasper gave me a sympathetic look. I briskly walked to my room and locked the door behind me.

I crawled onto the mattress after turning off the lights. Darkness seemed to be my best friend right now.

I laid there for what felt like hours, not drifting to sleep, but letting myself succumb to the numbness.

**AN: Ta da. Another one. I am now kicking myself for changing their ages…uhm, can I change them back to, what were they, seventeen? Is that against the non-existent rules? It really doesn't make a difference; it would just make me feel better with the ending…I should really learn how to organize my thoughts, and think things out…evidently, I'm not capable of it. I hope to have another one out this weekend but I have to write a huge essay on Shakespeare. I don't even have a thesis statement yet so there you go. I'll try, though, I really will!**

**(By the way, we once again beat the amount of reviews from last chapter. 50! I love it.)**


	19. Asthenia

**AN: 'Asthenia – Blink-182'. Soo…I _just_ used one of their songs last chap but…I don't care. It kinda works and I'm looking for another song at this point.**

**Just so we're all on the same page: Jacob Black will NOT be making an appearance in this little story of ours. I thought long and hard about it ('kay, not really) and decided to go a different route. I also knew I'd have to practically force my fingers to type him into the chapter and that wouldn't be enjoyable for any of us.**

**I noticed that the beginning of this chapter was a _lot _like the one in Twilight (by the way, Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight) without me even realizing it so I had to change some of it, teh.**

**BPOV**

"Bella, are you sure you want to go through with this?" my mother asked in hopes of convincing me to stay. It got old after hearing the same words eleven times being spoken to you in one hour. "I didn't really mean it when I suggested it last week." Renee was fighting back tears but I could tell they were of mixed emotions. It was a bittersweet moment for her; she was saddened at the thought of her only daughter leaving her for more than a month but at the same time she was thrilled to be getting the opportunity to spend some much needed time with Phil.

I sighed, "I _want_ to do this, Mom. I haven't seen Dad in almost a year."

She nodded in defeat/giddiness and gathered me into a tight hug. "I think this will be good for you," Renee said, looking on the bright side. "I really am proud of you, honey. I knew you'd be able to get over your problem." I attempted a smile for her benefit. "Remember to call and e-mail me."

"Okay Mom. I really have to go now," I said hurriedly as I stole a glance at the clock on the wall. My plane was boarding soon. "I love you," I added, oblivious to the fact that this would only start the waterworks for Renee.

"Oh, I love you too!" Again with the chokeholds.

After reassuring her I wouldn't completely cut her out of my life I left before she could reconsider the situation… again.

The plane ride went by painstakingly slow; it wasn't safe for myself to be left to the seclusion of my own thoughts. There was only one subject running through my mind: _Edward_. I could feel my heart physically clench every time I thought of him and I was constantly second guessing my decision to move to Forks. Before I could compose myself to attempt to make myself look 'excited', I was walking through the gate looking through the crowd of people for Charlie.

"Bells!" I could hear my nickname being called out from over the crowd and I turned in the direction it was coming from. There he was, my dad, waiting for me in all his awkwardness.

"Hey Dad!" I greeted, hoping to sound enthusiastic.

"How are you?" He asked. I got my disability for making small talk from him, if it wasn't already obvious.

"Fine," I lied. "How are you?"

He smiled warmly and replied with the same answer I gave him. That's all we needed.

The ride to Charlie's home –I guess I could say _my _home as well now— was spent in comfortable silence. I hadn't made a noise until we reached the house when I immediately noticed the unfamiliar vehicle in the small driveway.

"Oh, do you have company?" I asked in confusion.

A faint blush appeared on Charlie's cheeks (yet another trait from him) and he shook his head bashfully. "I got you a truck."

I stared at him for a minute processing this information. _He got me a car?!_I whipped my head around to take in the vehicle again. Well, I guess it couldn't really be classified as a _car_ per se. The rusty, red truck looked well worn and I was certain that if it were to ever take on an eighteen-wheeler it would come out of the scuffle barely scathed. The beast of an automobile was monstrous and I was astounded that I loved it so much.

My father took my silence for hesitancy and began to ramble. "It used to be an old friend of mine's truck. You remember Billy Black, right? From the reservation? **(AN That's the only time he'll be mentioned, I swear) **It's very reliable and sturdy. I know it's not the most modern vehicle, in fact—"

"How old _is_ it?" I asked for curiosity's sake.

"Well, it was new in the late fifties, I believe, or the early sixties maybe…but anyway, it's a solid truck and in perfect working condition."

"I love it, thank you," I smiled, but it faded when I realized what he had done for me. "But you really didn't have to do this. I could have bought one on my own."

"I wanted to. Besides, think of it as a 'Welcome to Forks' kind of gift," he suggested.

I refrained from giving him a hug; we both weren't partial to that sign of affection. Plus I was still too stunned by the fact that I actually loved this huge truck.

Charlie's home was just how I remembered it; he didn't change a thing. It was small but I didn't mind. After walking up the narrow staircase I found my old room from when I was a baby. Again, this room was the exact same as how I remembered it. I breathed out a heavy sigh as I flopped onto my bed, tired after putting up the charade of _not_ being pathetically depressed. _You were the one who chose this Bella, _I thought bitterly. This was supposed to be for the best, for everyone, and I was just going to have to keep telling myself that. It'll be my little, silent mantra.

I made sure to keep myself busy that evening, unpacking and putting away my clothes and various things I brought with me. I was shocked to hear that Charlie had been horrifically living off of fried eggs and bacon for the past seventeen years. Maybe appalled would have been the better word to use. I put together an actual dinner for him and immediately vowed that I would be doing the cooking from there on out.

At 10:30pm, I decided I would try to go to sleep after informing Charlie that I would like to go to school the next day. He said I could stay home for one day but I stubbornly disagreed. It wasn't the school part I wanted, I just couldn't see how I could spend a whole day home alone with myself. I knew the self-loathing and hateful thoughts would commence almost instantly.

I had never had such a worse nights sleep before. The downpour of rain against my bedroom window only helped my guilty thoughts take over and keep me up all night. The one time I did fall asleep I was greeted with terrifying nightmares.

The next morning I felt dead. It was early but I had long since given up on sleeping. I groggily made my way downstairs in the morning to find Charlie making his infamous eggs and bacon.

"Bells, you're up early," he said, not taking his eyes off the frying pan he was currently holding.

"Couldn't sleep too well," I explained monotonously.

"You'll get used to the rain," he assured me. If only it was that easy with the nightmares. "Would you like some?" he asked me motioning to the same frying pan, bringing me back to reality.

I scrunched my nose in distaste but declined politely, deciding on a simple granola bar for breakfast. My stomach was far too nervous to be able to hold anything down. I'd be going to a whole new school and I was frantically wondering if the students here would be as stuck up and full of themselves as they were in Phoenix. I prayed to anyone who was listening that they weren't or else I would quickly hate myself for even thinking about coming here.

If I had been tired before, hearing the sound of my truck roar to life surely woke me up. I let out a small scream and cursed my jumpiness. I'd have to watch myself and make sure I didn't have a repeat of this scene in the school parking lot after school; that would be embarrassing.

This town suited me perfectly. The constant rain in this town matched my mood to the T. _Maybe I could just live here for forever._ I would get over the fact that nothing in Forks seemed natural. Everything that was supposed to be brown, like rocks and trees, _wasn't._ Everything was _green._ Maybe if I was in any other situation I would have gotten over this fact quicker, but the greenness of my surroundings only made me remember a certain pair of emerald green eyes and it was eating away at me.

I found the school—if you could call it that—with little trouble. It was an odd set up, at least to me, with a bunch of buildings scattered around with numbers on them. Finding a parking space was a little trickier and with the size of my vehicle it only added to the difficulty. As I walked past the other cars after parking I was happy to see that my truck wouldn't stick out too much because there were other antique-ish cars in the lot; all except for one big jeep that could rival my bigger truck.

I stepped foot into the small secretary office and was met by a middle-aged woman clacking away at her outdated computer. I cleared my throat unsubtly when she didn't look up from the screen. The woman—who, after reading the nameplate, I came to know as Ms. Cope—dragged her eyes from the computer monitor to look at me.

"Hi," I said impatiently. "I'm Isabella Swan, I'm new here…" I trailed off not really knowing what else to say.

"Oh!" Ms. Cope all of the sudden snapped to attention. "Of course, we've been waiting for you," _Of course_. "Now, here is your class schedule and a map of the school. Take this slip, and if you could have all of your teachers sign it that would be great. Good luck, dear."

I mumbled a thank you and walked briskly out of the building. She was too perky for me; the dark cloud hanging over my head was making it unclear as to why anyone could possibly be happy at this time.

My morning was going smoothly until the period before lunch **(AN What is that, like fourth? I dunno, I only have 4 classes a day…)**. I was fortunate enough to not have to introduce myself in front of the class but as I walked down the aisle in the classroom to get to my seat, that annoying clumsy side of me decided to step in and take over. This resulted in me tripping over air and falling flat on my face…in front of everyone. _Great_ first impression. "Ow," I mumbled as I sat up, rubbing my elbow which I had hit on a desk.

I received a round of laughter for my performance and I turned a nasty shade of red when I heard someone laugh louder near me.

"What a loser," he said.

"Shut up, Yorkie," another voice scolded from above me. A large hand appeared in my line of sight and I graciously took it without a second thought. When I was on my feet I came face to face—more like face to chest—to a boy with a mop of brown curls on his head. I was at first extremely intimidated by this boy on account of his unnatural sized muscles; he must have had the entire school trembling in his wake. But as he broke out into a smile (probably at the fact that I was blatantly staring wide-eyed at his stature) I couldn't help but to return a _small_ smile. I wouldn't have taken him for having dimples but they suited him and, to be honest, made him a little less scary.

"Thank you," I said quietly, still trying to get over my near fatal heart attack.

"No problem. I'm Emmet," he said with a grin.

"Isabella but please, call me Bella," I replied.

"I would like to start the lesson sometime _today,_ Mr. McCarty," Mr. Mason stated impatiently.

"Sorry," we both muttered. As I walked back to my seat, once again, I tripped. Luckily I now had Emmet and he was near enough to catch me.

"Thanks," I said, blushing furiously. _The entire class is going to think I'm incompetent or something._

Emmet's booming laugh filled the room, "I like you, Bella." He ruffled my hair for effect.

We didn't get the chance to talk throughout the rest of class but after the period, Emmet asked me to sit with him at lunch. I hesitantly agreed. I wasn't sure if he sat with a crowd; that was the last thing I wanted. All eyes were on me in the cafeteria and I seriously thought then and there about turning on my heel and leaving the building. I subtly located myself behind Emmet, away from the view of the students, in the lunch line.

"Bella," he laughed, "what are you doing?"

"Everyone's staring," I mumbled.

Emmet looked at me like I had something foreign growing on my face until he turned to look at the student body in the cafeteria. He raised an eyebrow in amusement and turned fully to the crowd.

"What's the matter with all of you? Haven't you seen a pretty girl before?" He asked, winking at me.

Another blush crawled up my neck and I was beginning to think that was the only reason he said that. "Emmet," I whined.

"Fine, fine."

He led me to a table away from all of the piercing eyes and for that I was grateful. We hadn't been seated for long when I noticed a stunning blonde storming her way over to our table. I was utterly confused as to why she seemed so angry and also rather scared. She had to have been the most beautiful girl I had ever seen _and_ she was angry; that can't be a good mix.

"Emmet," she all but growled, "who is _this_?"

I'm pretty sure my eyes widened a bit when her scrutinizing eyes landed on me, sizing me up.

"Hey, Rose," Emmet greeted her, standing up to kiss her on the cheek. "This is Bella, the new student. Bella, this is Rosalie, my girlfriend." He turned to look at her again with loving eyes and my heart lurched. I was jealous. Not that Emmet had a girlfriend, but the fact that his love was there in his presence and mine was miles away most likely either pissed at me or happy to have been rid of me.

Rosalie's eyes seemed to soften with the recognition that I was most definitely not a threat and she soon happily sat down at our table and threw herself into the conversation.

"So, what made you move to Forks?" Rosalie asked halfway through lunch. The newfound smile that had been on my face faded quickly as I remembered who I was and the reason behind me coming here. For a while there I had felt _normal_. Just a normal, teenage girl enjoying lunch with her two new friends. Could I tell them everything that had happened to me? My past? I didn't want everyone in the school knowing, though it was a small town and it was bound to spread somehow.

With a steady breath I asked, "I can trust you two, right?"

"Of course," Emmet said while Rosalie nodded her head in agreement.

"And you won't think any differently of me when I tell you this?" I stalled.

"You didn't kill anyone, did you?" Emmet asked, feigning worry. Rosalie rolled her eyes.

"Ignore him. Come on, you can tell us. We're your friends, we won't think differently of you," she said. I simply sat there for a minute smiling like an idiot at her words. How did I get so lucky as to find these two on my first day?

"All right. In Phoenix, Arizona, I was a cocaine addict," I said. I could hear Rosalie gasp softly but continued. "I was committed to a rehabilitation center and stayed there for six months. After I was released I figured coming here to live with my dad would be a nice, fresh start to my new freedom," I explained, editing the story greatly.

"That's not all," Rosalie stated. "You're leaving something out, something important," she said accusingly, pointing her plastic salad fork at me.

I sighed; well, there was no going back now.

"While I was at PRC, I met someone. Edward." My lips involuntarily curved upwards at the sound of his name coming from my mouth. I had gone too long without hearing his name. "We fell in love. Well, we still are. At least I am," I added in a mumble. "But…I had to leave, I was being let out…and when I left, Edward had a relapse and I couldn't help but know that it was my fault. I had hurt him. But not just him, I hurt my best friend and especially my mother. She just remarried and she hadn't been able to spend anytime with him because he travels so much. So, I figured leaving Phoenix would be the best way for everyone to move on with their lives." I ended with a small shrug. I looked up to my two new acquainted friends to find their mouths slightly agape. Rosalie was the first to speak.

"That…that might just be the stupidest thing I've ever heard."

"Excuse me?" I asked, a bit offended.

"You leaving them like that. I don't even know them but I can tell you mean a lot to them and you just…left so abruptly. Poor Edward. I can't see your thought process behind this at all," Rosalie said bluntly, leaning back.

"Well, he's probably happier now…" I said weakly. "He doesn't have a burden hanging around him now."

"Okay, now _that's _the stupidest thing _I've_ ever heard," Emmet scoffed. "You said he loved you right?" he asked.

"Well yeah…"

"Then he sure as hell wouldn't have hated your company. He's probably too depressed to function right now. I can't even imagine how I'd be if Rose ever left me for 'my own good'," Emmet said, once again turning his adoring eyes to Rosalie.

They looked like they were having a moment so I decided to stay quiet and think things over. I hadn't even known Emmet for that long but that was probably the smartest thing I had heard him say so far. He was right. How could I just leave like that? Now a new wave of guilt was hitting me. I knew Renee would get over me leaving because she would be too busy being ecstatic over traveling with Phil. But Edward…God, how could I have done this to him? Twice? I had thought leaving would cease the hurt I was causing him but it only inflated it. I didn't deserve him; I was too ignorant and cold-hearted. Now I _really_ couldn't return to Arizona out of fear of the hateful words Edward would say to me. But that's the thing; Edward's too good for that. He'd probably do better by just ignoring me. Now I was sure of my move here. I would stay and hopefully in time forget about the beautiful God I had once had but foolishly pushed away.

"Hey, hello?" Emmet was waving his hand in front of me face. "Are you in there?" I snapped out of my dreary daze.

"Sorry," I said with a blush.

"'S'all right," Emmet said with amusement clear in his face. I do believe I had quickly become his new source of entertainment but I didn't mind.

As I finally began to eat my lunch a student approached our table but I was too embarrassed by my previous actions to look up.

"Shove off, Eric," Emmet said in a bored voice. My face paled, _Eric?_ _Great._ He was probably here to laugh at me some more. I chanced a looked at him and I could see him scowling at Emmet.

"I'm not here to talk to _you, _McCarty," he sneered. His face softened when he turned to me. "Hey Bella. What do you say to going out to see a movie with me tonight?" I sat there with my jaw hanging. Was he seriously asking me out now? Right after he had so nicely taken on the responsibility of becoming my one-man audience to my comedy act?

"Um…" I was too flabbergasted to even turn him down.

"You're kidding me," Emmet said, astonished. "Go away and leave the poor girl alone." I could see Emmet's massive muscles flex in his arms as he glared and for a second even I was a bit scared for Eric. But then I came back to my senses. I grinned at Emmet, though; he was acting like a big brother to me and I loved him for it.

"She doesn't want to go out with you, Yorkie," Rosalie said in disgust. "She already has a boyfriend." My wide eyes snapped to hers. What was she doing?!

"What? Where?" Eric stammered in confusion.

Rosalie rolled her eyes while she stared down at her perfectly manicured nails. "Well he's not here, _obviously_, but that doesn't mean she's automatically attainable," she said in a tone that sounded like she was attempting to talk to an annoying ten year old.

"Oh." Was all Eric was able to say as he scurried off.

"…Thanks?" I said, bewildered.

"Not a problem. That'll keep the boys away from you. You'll notice they're quite…forward here," she said with a smirk.

"Great," I sighed. And I thought I had left my annoying admirers behind me in Phoenix.

**AN: Wow. I really need to sort out my priorities (haha, I love you Ron). Well, here you are, I hope you all are happy that I'm not working on my essay right now to finish this. I really hope I don't fail… anyway; do you love me for putting in Emmet and Rosalie?? Ye of little faith, my readers, tsk tsk. That wasn't my original plan but ****tonkatruckss.**** gave me this idea and I thought it was brilliant (thank you!). I'm sure I didn't really capture their character that well but I tried and that's all that matters. I think. Review please!**


	20. The Grace

**AN: 'The Grace – Neverending White Lights'. This is the **_**only**_** song I like-well, this and the one that features Raine Maida-only because I like Dallas' voice. I didn't want to pick it but the lyrics fit really nicely!**

**Well, I'm glad you liked that I put Rosalie and Emmett in! By the way, notice I used two T's there? Psh, I feel stupid; I hadn't even realized I wasn't using two T's because I actually know an Emmet and he only has one T in his name. So I guess it's just a habit. But Emmet and Emmett couldn't be more polar opposites, teh. Emmett's high on life and Emmet's high on…other…substances…-awkward cough-…good thing I know he wouldn't be reading this…or do I? Moving on.**

**For someone who needs to write a poem this weekend on Infatuation (along with 9 other assignments from the hated English teacher, Mr. I-Think-I'm-Gangster), the mood of this chapter is really putting a damper on the mood. Sheesh. Sorry for the wait, though, I really didn't know what I wanted to do for this chapter and I still really don't. Enjoy.**

**EPOV**

I felt like I was reliving that time period when Bella had left the Center. Only this time it was one hundred times worse. Last time I had been left with the hope that my love—who at the time had claimed she loved me—would be waiting loyally for me on the other side of the doors. But now all that was lingering was unreciprocated feelings and half-hearted apologies.

Although Bella did not love me anymore, my heart's feelings for her were stubbornly staying put. I had no idea how I would be able to get over her-I couldn't-but I secretly knew there would be no one else for me. That sounds comical coming from a seventeen year old that has barely lived or even seen the world, for that matter, but I knew I was right.

Every morning seemed like a tiresome task to crawl out of bed, I was so depleted. Knowing I wouldn't be seeing Bella every day was affecting me, yes, but I had taken on the goal, I guess you could say, to putting as much energy I could muster into getting out of the retched hell they called Phoenix Rehabilitation Center. Mostly so I could brood and sulk in my own home instead of having to look at the other hopeless cases there.

Though Alice and Jasper would be two exceptions. I knew that it wouldn't be too long until the two of them would be leaving. But really, could I honestly say I wasn't used to it by now?

"Hi, Edward," Alice greeted me when I entered the classroom. I knew she was still upset about the situation with Bella but she was maintaining her upbeat attitude. She had tried countless times to bring it up, saying that Bella didn't really mean what she had told me and I wanted to believe her, I really did, but I couldn't. After I told her to stop saying it following every time she tried to say something about it she eventually gave up. Now, she had moved on from those choice words to simply saying cryptically, _Everything is going to work out._ I knew better than to bet against Alice but I daringly did so; I did not want to get my hopes up. She was so sure of this fact that her mood had taken a turn for the better, multiplied by three.

"Hello Alice," My less-happy self replied formally to her annoyance. She didn't understand how I couldn't believe her and why I wasn't as chipper as she was.

"Edward, everything—"

"Is going to work out. I know, Alice," I said monotonously, earning an impatient huff from the pixie.

Alice angrily muttered something incoherent and turned her attention back to the front of the classroom, though Mrs. Williams hadn't even arrived yet.

A presence to my right informed me of their entrance when they scraped the chair legs at the desk loudly and sat down. I growled lowly at who it was.

"Cullen," he acknowledged me. He had the audacity to act smug in front of me.

"Newton," I growled out. I had been trying to put as much of a distance as possible between Mike and myself but he wasn't making it easy right now or any other time when in passing he would mockingly asked 'where my girlfriend is'. Even now I had to fight the urge not to give him another black eye and so much worse. As much as I wanted to do that I would definitely get kicked out and I needed to stay-though to my displeasure-to get clean. It was the only thing that was keeping me going at this point, my freedom. And Mike seemed to enjoy waltzing right in and dangling it front of my face.

"What's got you down, eh?" he asked in mock sympathy. Like he _didn't _know that I hated the very ground he walked on for what he had tried and almost succeeded to do to Bella. I glared at him as he stared back with his arrogant smirk. His mood and actions were sure signs that he still hadn't quit the drugs. He knew I couldn't do anything to him with so many people around and he was taking full advantage of it. No, I had no patience for this jackass today…or ever for that matter. I darted my eyes to the front of the classroom to find that Mrs. Williams still hadn't arrived. With this opportunity, I moved my chair closer to Mike.

"Edward…" I could hear Alice warn. I ignored her.

Mike bravely stood his ground but I could see the fear lurking beneath his audacious façade. I surprised him when I grabbed a hold of his forearm forcibly. I knew he thought I wouldn't dare try to hurt him in here but he thought wrong. I applied enough pressure to turn my knuckles slightly white and that emotion of fear, which I had recognized previously, surfaced.

"Listen. Bella may not have wanted me to injure you further before but she isn't here now-as you have so kindly pointed out to me numerous times-and I have no problem in finishing what _you_ started," I said deathly calm.

I removed my hand from his arm and returned back to my original position at my desk after giving Mike one final warning glare, which seemed to send him over the edge of terror.

"Boys." Alice muttered beside me while shaking her head.

* * *

As I ate my lunch in the cafeteria that day I was really missing the hospital food. At least they made some sort of effort to make the food edible there. _If only Bella was here to go get me a cheeseburger_, I mused. My neutral expression washed away to be replaced with a frown at the thought of her name.

Alice let out an impatient sigh across from me with narrowed eyes.

"Alice, leave him alone," Jasper said gently, voicing my request.

"Well, I can't stand seeing him depressed like every other kid in here. If he'd just listen to me, he'd know that there's nothing to be upset about."

"And how do you know?" Jasper inquired.

"I just know," Alice replied simply and seemed that Jasper believed her. I continued to look between the two as if a tennis match was taking place.

"Well, it's hard for him to—"

"Okay, I'm right here. You can at least acknowledge my presence," I said, annoyed.

"Sorry," they both said bashfully.

"And Alice, this is _rehab_. You cannot honestly except everyone to be so happy and go-lucky as you," I said coldly.

"I'm not asking for that, _Edward,_ it just wouldn't hurt to see a little bit of hope from everyone around here," Alice said stiffly, narrowing her eyes further if that was at all possible. I opened my mouth to retort when she cut me off. "Have you even played the piano since Bella's leave?"

"Damn it, Alice!" I half-shouted as I stood up abruptly. Alice stood her ground, looking up at me with a clenched jaw. "Would you just keep your nose out of other people's business?"

"Edward," Jasper warned lowly.

"What?" I snapped.

"You need to cal—," he said.

"Do _not_ tell me I need to calm down," I said menacingly.

As I stormed out of the cafeteria, Alice chose that time to speak up. "It's okay, Jasper, Edward is just a coward who won't face the truth," she said loudly. I chose to ignore it, knowing it would be in my better interest and that she was trying to get a rouse out of me to either come forward with what I was feeling or to finally accept what she was claiming; she had already half-succeeded.

I climbed the flight of stairs to my room, slamming the door behind me. I paced the room for a good five minutes, throwing things at the wall in my wake. When I came across the sheet music to her lullaby I paused. In my furious state I tore the paper up until it could be passed as confetti. There was no point in having it around any more, though I knew that I would always know the song down to the last note; I had it memorized.

When I gave up on being angry I slumped in defeat on my bed. I looked around at the mess I had caused. I was embarrassed to have lashed out like I did but I wouldn't lie and say it didn't feel good. I was still anxious, though, and so I stood up and went to the only thing that would calm me.

There it was in all its glory. Alice had made a point when she asked if I hadn't played since her leave from the Center. I couldn't believe I went so long. That was just the affect she had on me. I hadn't even entered the room after her last night; the room held too many memories.

Her showing me the room for the first time, me playing her lullaby for her, us sharing our first kiss, officially becoming boyfriend and girlfriend, and then there was that last night where I had confessed my true feelings for her. I was beginning to wonder if she had only said those words back because I had said them…but I couldn't see her doing that.

I sat down at the familiar piano bench and started playing whatever came to me first. I winced as that song happened to be her lullaby.

My fingers continued playing the now painful melody until the end. No matter what, though, it did calm me down. I let the last note reverberate throughout the room and then let my hands fall to my lap.

"Told ya," A voice said from the door. I jumped in fright from the sudden noise and turned around to find Alice smirking to Jasper. I rolled my eyes at the pair but a feeling of guilt washed over me as I remembered my earlier words and actions.

"I'm sorry, you two," I apologized quietly. "I was just upset."

"Really?" Alice asked sarcastically. I ignored this.

"I miss her," I sighed, voicing what I had been bottling up, "so much."

"We know. We know you still love her and that Bella loves you too," she said confidently, not noticing my small flinch at the sound of her name. I wanted to argue the latter of that sentence but Jasper spoke before I could.

"Just…let her have her way," he said.

"Ugh, I can't believe I behaved that rudely to you two when I really shouldn't be. You both are all I have left here," I said, running a hand through my hair.

"It's fine. We understand," Jasper interjected.

"Yeah, we realize you are just being an idiot, not wanting to face the fact that everything _will_ fall into place eventually," Alice said brightly with an underlying tone daring me to disagree this time.

I sighed and leant my elbow on the piano keys- creating a mesh of notes to ring in the air- and rested my head on my hand. "All right, Alice," I conceded. "I believe you; everything's going to work out," quoting her words she had said so many times before. I refrained from rolling my eyes as I said it. But Alice was so confident when she was saying it that I couldn't help but to start consider it. I guess I would just have to trust her; she had been right before.

**AN: So I tried showing just how messed up Edward is right now and so there you go. I don't think it was one of my better chapters but that just means the next one has to be better hopefully. He's having a rough go but he's starting to accept what Alice keeps persistently telling him (you know you shouldn't go against what Alice says). Next we'll go back to Bella, I believe.**

**Also, I'm not sure if Alice and Jasper will meet up with everyone in Forks…that just seems unreal (then again this **_**is**_** fanfiction) but they seem happy enough just two them already, don't they? I don't know; if I can think of a way for them to get to Forks I'll do it but if not… well yeah. Ideas in reviews/PM's maybe? :)**


	21. Into the Sun

**AN: 'Into the Sun – Lifehouse.' Yay-ah (that was supposed to sound gangster…). Listen to second verse and you'll see why it fits. Only…Bella is not man, as we all know…**

**Well, thank you all for the ideas in your reviews! I love getting feedback like that :) Some of them were a little out there but funny and some I'm really considering. I really don't know what I'm doing with the story at this point and this chapter suffered because of it. Writers block much? The thoughts are kinda scatterbrained but that sort of shows how weird Bella is right now, I guess? I guess.**

**I hope you all are content that I'm using two T's in Emmett…because I'm not. It feels so awkward to type! / I'll deal, though, no worries.**

**BPOV**

I remember in seventh grade my drama teacher, Miss Mackenzie, told me I would have no future in acting. And I believed her. My clumsy tendencies were reason enough. But it seems that all it took was for me to be thrown into the most awkward situation to let my natural acting ability shine through.

I had created the perfect façade of happiness. Everyone had it in their twisted heads that I was simply the happy, carefree girl from the sunny Arizona state and they actually liked me. What made the situation disturbing was the fact that everyone _knew_ that I was a former druggie—I'm not sure how that piece of information spread but I had my guesses on a certain bushy-haired girl in my English class. I had not been expecting that type of reaction from the people of Forks, which is why I had decided upon the theory that I had excellent acting skills. That, or I had quickly mastered the art of lying. Or both.

Along with the overly friendly population of Forks warming up to me came the admirers. Or the 'desperate hormonal boys', as Rosalie liked to refer to them. Apparently ex-cocaine addicts were all the more attractive…

Having met Emme**tt****!** and Rosalie, I found that I wasn't minding Forks. I wouldn't say I was having an outright blast, but I wasn't wallowing in sorrow every second of the day. Just maybe every other second. This wasn't what I had planned to happen when I moved away. The people I had left behind in Phoenix were supposed to be the happy ones not _me._ I felt absolutely guilty whenever I caught myself laughing freely at Emmett's foolishness. But it was all right to be happy, wasn't it? They moved on and so could I.

Whoa, I was becoming such a good liar that I almost believed myself there.

I figured that I was bound to get into heaven with this selfless act. Maybe it would even overshadow the past drug addiction? **Keep thinking that, Bella.**

Even after the amount of time I had been away from him, my mind was constantly reeling with thoughts of Edward. _I wonder what Edward is doing right now? Is he playing the piano? I wonder when he'll be let out of the Center. Is he thinking of me? Does he hate me?_

"Hey Bella!" Emmett called from the other end of the school corridor. I was carefully walking as quickly as I was possibly able to without tripping away from him. I loved the bear to bits but I knew that tone of voice. He and Rosalie had another scheme to get me out of the house. I just wanted to get home, crawl under the covers of my bed and sleep through the weekend. It was one of those days where my head didn't even want to _try_ and not think of him.

My attempt at fleeing Emmett failed, as, unlike me, he didn't have to move around people to get outside. He plowed his way through.

"Hey Bella," he said again as he caught up to me.

"Hey Emmett," I replied.

"How are you?" he asked politely. I couldn't help the giggle that escaped me. It was so obvious that he was up to something; and he really wasn't good at hiding it.

"I'm fine, thanks, how are you?" I asked, playing along.

"Excellent. What are you doing tonight?" he asked straightforwardly.

I sighed, "Homework, Emmett." And it was true. I was putting everything I had into schoolwork to keep busy and so far, for the month and a half I had been in Forks, it was working splendidly.

Emmett made a face showing that he was truly appalled. "What? You can't do homework on a Friday night, it's unethical," he said dramatically.

I rolled my eyes, "It's not unheard of. Please Emmett, I need to get home."

"Nu-uh. I insist you come out with us tonight. We're all going bowling, maybe a movie too," he said with a grin.

I acted shocked, "Forks has a bowling alley?"

Emmett glowered, "Ha ha." He said sarcastically. "No. We're driving to Port Angeles."

I let out a frustrated sigh. _Who goes bowling anymore?_ my aggressive thoughts asked._ Only in Forks._

"Please?" he whined. Damn. He knew I had a hard time resisting his pout.

As I was about to reply with my weak excuse, Rosalie caught up to us in the parking lot and I knew there would be no way of getting out of it now.

She greeted me before giving Emmett a sloppy, passionate kiss for the entire world to see. I turned away for too many reasons.

"So, you are coming with us tonight, right Bella?" Rosalie asked me sweetly; too sweetly. Emmett turned his gaze to me. Smugness was written all over his face. I could almost hear him thinking, _Have fun saying no to Rose._

"Really guys, I'm not in the best of moods today."

"All the more reason to come with us tonight and have some fun!" Rosalie countered.

And out the window my resolve went.

"Fine," I sighed. "But only for an hour or two."

"Yeah yeah," Rosalie said, waving my statement off.

Rosalie and Emmett were nice enough to let me go home for an hour. Enough time for me to return my book bag and prepare a dinner for Charlie. I meant it when I told him I would be doing all of the cooking and as much as he pretended to be disgruntled about it I knew he liked the change in what he was eating.

The ride to Port Angeles was a fair way away but Emmett kept the drive amusing with his hysterical singing style as he tried to keep the tune to the songs playing on the radio, much to Rosalie's displeasure.

Port Angeles was bigger than Forks –then again, I couldn't think of many places that were _smaller_ than Forks– and we met up with the others from school including Angela Weber. Along with Emmett and Rosalie, Angela was the closest friend I had made in Forks. She was very intelligent and was one of the three people at Forks High who did not feel the need to base our conversations around questions like 'Why aren't you tanned if you're from Arizona?' and 'What was cocaine like?'. Sadly, Eric was there as well but I made sure to stay far away from him. Before moving to Forks, I had never realized how well I was at holding grudges. So many new talents!

"I didn't take you for wearing bowling shoes, Rose," I laughed as we picked up our shoes from the counter and walked to our lane.

She scowled and looked at the pair of shoes in disgust. "I'm not." She then took out a spray can from her purse and bathed the shoes in the scented smell that made me choke out a cough.

"Jeeze, Rosalie, I think they're sterile now."

I bowled a couple of frames until I gave up. If I couldn't walk across a floor without tripping, how was I supposed to walk _quickly_ and hold a heavy ball at the same time? I wasn't. Eric offered to show me the proper technique in bowling but one murderous glare from me and he was sent scurrying away. Oh, I was good.

Emmett was also beginning to frighten me. Never had I seen someone so competitive. He was making this friendly game of bowling seem like the Superbowl.

I found Rose seated in the plush bench and I plunked myself down beside her with a heavy sigh. "I can't believe you guys made me come."

"Oh, you know you're enjoying yourself just a little—"

"Take that, Yorkie!"

"Okay, I admit, seeing Emmett bowl is pretty entertaining," I laughed as I looked over to see Emmett pointing his finger tauntingly at Eric.

Rosalie snickered. "I don't even think he likes bowling. He just wanted a chance to show Eric up."

"Figures." We were quiet for a moment until I asked, "Did you even bowl yet?" She gave me look saying 'What do you think?'

Rosalie was thoughtful for a moment until her face brightened. "How about we go shopping for a while?"

"That's your great plan?" I asked incredulously. "Do you not know me by now?" I said with a laugh.

"Well sorry. Maybe I should meet your friend Alice. From what I hear, she'd be the perfect shopping partner," she sniffed.

I flinched away at the mention of the pixie.

Rosalie's eyes widened a miniscule in realization. "I'm sorry…"

"It's fine," I said, averting my eyes. After telling them my story the day I met them, I had tried to not talk about the people I left in Phoenix as least as possible. But that didn't mean I hadn't been constantly thinking about them, mainly a certain bronze haired God. If only not thinking about him was as easy as not talking about him.

That didn't stop Rosalie from bringing them up, however. It seemed she had made it her new goal to get me to 'come to my senses' about the situation.

"I really do think you should talk about it," Rosalie said quietly but firmly.

My eyes returned to her sharply but I couldn't say anything.

"You're obviously miserable."

"I'm fine!" I snapped. Rosalie leaned back with raised eyebrows but she wasn't at all phased by my small outburst at her.

She scoffed, "You can't just keep pushing your feelings down. It's not healthy—"

"Rose! Rosie, look! I got a strike!" Emmett's booming voice called to us excitedly.

"Yeah I see, Emmett. Good one," Rosalie said mechanically. She glanced at him for a second then turned back to me. She rolled her eyes but I could see the smile playing on her lips. I sighed inwardly like the desperate teenager I was for the boy that could make me smile like that.

"Anyways," Rosalie continued as if she hadn't been interrupted, "I know you miss them. Why can't you call them?"

"Because."

Rose shot me a look.

"Because…well one, they're not allowed cell phones in rehab and… two... wasn't that the whole point I left? So they could move on and stop worrying about me being there?"

"Was it?" Rosalie asked, raising a perfectly arched eyebrow.

"Yes…" I said weakly. "Yes. Yes, it was." I stated more firmly.

She 'mhm'ed and left it at that.

"I won!" Emmett jogged over to us with a bright smile on his face.

"Nice one, Emmett!" I couldn't hide the smugness I had as I watched Eric stormed off in humiliation. Rosalie went a different route in congratulating Emmett and pulled him into another one of their kisses. I routinely looked away; this was getting strenuous.

"Okay, where to now?" Emmett said with his arm slung over Rosalie's shoulder.

"Home."

"Let's go get something to eat, it's only six," Rosalie suggested, dismissing my suggestion.

Emmett's ears perked up at the mention of eating and he immediately led us to the nearest restaurant.

My newest observation of the people in Forks was that they must all be very patient. They had to for being able to put up with me and my annoyingly, depressing antics. As much as I was well aware of what I was doing, I couldn't stop. Maybe I had become a masochist?

We went to an Italian restaurant nearby and we were seated quickly. It was outings like this that made me slightly uncomfortable with them. I was the third wheel and there was no denying it. I was used to it by now, of course, and I had been used to it even before I came here when it had been just Alice, Jasper and I in rehab. That changed, though, when Edward came.

I stopped myself from following the path that my thoughts were leading to and turned back to my two friends.

The three of us enjoyed simple conversations until the food came and Emmett shifted his attention to the plates—yes, plates—in front of him.

"So, Bella," Rosalie began after daintily wiping her mouth with her napkin.

I groaned. It hadn't even been an hour. "Stop, Rose."

She gave me a cold glare. "No."

For a second I was actually scared of her but her face crumpled in frustration.

"God, Bella! I'm about to go up there myself and—" Rosalie stopped abruptly and her lips curled into a sly grin. "Why don't you go visit them, Bella?"

"What? Okay, out of all your suggestions, this has to be the most absurd. Why would I do that? I didn't leave just so I could run back almost two months later."

"Okay, Bella? There's something that you aren't understanding here. Just because _you_ want them to move on for reasons that are stupid to me…that doesn't mean they are just going to automatically forget about you, _especially_ Edward. If you two are as in love as I know you are, I bet one million dollars he's _still_ depressed over losing you. Speaking of which, I'm starting to really want to meant this bloke and see if he's just as insane as you are."

I stared at Rosalie for a moment with my mouth hanging open. "So…?"

She rolled her eyes, "So you need to get your butt on a plane and go fix what you screwed up."

It was my turn to roll my eyes. "It's not that simple. Even if Charlie let me—which he wouldn't—I know where Alice lives but I have no idea where Edward is, if he's even out of rehab. But I'm not going."

"I fink 'ou shou'," Emmett spoke up with a mouth full of food. Rosalie smacked him on the arm for talking with his mouth full. "Ow."

"Bella, we love you like a sister and because of that we can't stand seeing you like this," Rosalie said seriously.

"There's nothing wrong with me. I just haven't gotten over them yet but I will."

"Honey, at this rate it's going to a lot more than 'trying to forget' to get over this. Hell, I'll buy you the plane ticket myself if it'll mean you leaving this state."

"Ouch," I smirked.

"You know what I mean."

"I do," I could feel my eyes start to water at the words Rosalie was saying. She was being such a good friend to me even though _I _was being stupid. Rosalie made a good point and I didn't understand why I hadn't listened to her before then. She was right; I _was _being an idiot. My selfless act turned out to be nothing but selfishness. "Thanks Rose…and Emmett," I giggled as I saw him still eating away across from me. "God, why didn't you smack some sense into me sooner?" I feigned anger, standing up.

Rosalie smirked and stood up, "Come on, we'll drive you back to Charlie's."

"Aw, you pick the time to listen to us when I'm eating," Emmett muttered as we left.

"Shit!" I swore suddenly when a thought caught up to me. "Seriously, how am I going to get Charlie to let me go to _Phoenix_?" I asked frantically to no one in particular.

"Damn, that is a problem…" Rosalie muttered.

"Just say you miss your mom," Emmett suggested coolly, leaning on his massive jeep.

Rosalie and I turned slowly towards Emmett.

"Well, I mean, play it up a little bit…"

"You know, that's so crazy it just might work," I said, astonished.

Entering my house after being dropped off by Emmett and Rosalie, I was a ball of nerves, sweating bullets as I thought of just how I was going to convince Charlie to let me fly back to Phoenix.

"Bells? Is that you?" Charlie's gruff voice could be heard from the living room and I followed it.

"Yeah, Dad," I said but then remembered that I was supposed to be upset. I couldn't believe I was about to do this to my father but I needed to go see Edward and I was desperate.

"How was bowling?" he asked pleasantly and it only made me feel guiltier.

"Fine," I sighed. Charlie looked at me for the first time since I came home—he had been staring fixedly at the TV screen where a football game was taking place—and his thick brow furrowed.

"Something wrong, Bella?"

"I…I…I miss mom," I whimpered. The shock was evident on Charlie's face and it was obvious he wasn't expecting this.

"You…you miss your mother?" he asked as if he needed to hear it a second time.

"Yes," I whispered.

"Oh. Uhm…er…" Charlie continued to stutter out nonsense. I could tell he didn't know what to do. I let out a sob and I prayed that it didn't sound us fake to him as it did to me.

"I miss mom so much, daddy." All right, maybe that was a bit over the top.

"W-well, what are you trying to say? Do you—"

"I want to go home," I wailed. _God, I have lost respect for myself with this stunt._

My heart broke as I looked at Charlie's shocked and slightly hurt face.

"Erm…Bella, you have school—"

"Please. Just for a visit." I could see him having an internal battle with this until his face softened and I knew I had him. _I'm such a horrible person._

"All right. I know it's been hard for you readjusting here. It's Friday, at least, so you could fly back Monday," he said in thought. "I'll call Renee and—"

"No!" Charlie looked at me, startled. "I mean…I'd like to call her and ask her myself, if that's okay."

"That's fine…" he said in a confused tone. I stood up and gave Charlie a tight hug, something that surprised the both of us. I wanted to convey all of my gratitude into that hug and, somehow, show how sorry I was to be lying to him like this. I rushed up to my room to pack a small bag; I didn't need much.

I couldn't call Renee. I couldn't stay with her when I went because, frankly, she knew me too well. Yes, I seemed to be excellent at fooling Charlie but I knew Renee would see right through to my alternative motive and she'd probably send me right back. I was still afraid to know her reaction of Edward but if she didn't approve of him because of his drug problem she would be s complete hypocrite.

My mind was racing and the voice in the back of my head was questioning why I was doing this. Sure I could go see them—if they were out of rehab, I hoped they were—and apologize profusely for my ridiculous actions but where would that leave us? Back to square one. I'd return back here and that would be that. Of course, if I found Edward and begged for him to take me back—that is, if he hadn't moved on. Again, I hoped he hadn't—we could try a long distance relationship. I don't know how well that would work but if it meant having Edward in the slightest I would give it all I had.

But I was getting ahead of myself. Who said they would even be there waiting for my miraculous return?

I decided to shut those doubting voices up and continued packing. I would just have to go there and let the chips fall where they may.

The only optimistic thought running through my head:

_I get to see Edward again._

**AN: I need to ask; do all you Americans have the big bowling balls with the holes in them?? Because here in Canada we have, like, baseball-sized bowling balls. Tragic. And i couldn't think of anything else that they could do so i was like, 'hey, why don't they go bowling?'. I didn't want to do a shopping scene again.**

**Okay anyway, so I had a new idea half way through this chapter so…I went with it. I hadn't been planning on Bella going back but…I rather like this idea because I'm pretty sure what is going to happen will not be what you expect. You'll see why next chapter when we go back to Edward. That just made it seem really dramatic and it's not really…but we'll pretend it is. And I know it probably wasn't believable at **_**all**_** but…I had to make Charlie a pushover. Just trust me in where I'm going with this, haha. I'm sure not a lot of this chapter made sense but I tried to write it as quickly as possible today because I need to write a frickin' math journal! Who assigns something like that, is my question. My insane math teacher is who. He's psycho.**

**ALSO: Can someone explain to me what a "frock" is?? I have a vague understanding but not really. For my final orchestra concert they expect us to BUY a frock, how rude.**


	22. Konstantine

**AN: 'Konstantine – Something Corporate.' If you have not listened to this song there is something majorly wrong. This song is life. I'd love to base an Edward/Bella story off this song :)**

**Haha, may I just say that I loved hearing all of your takes on what a frock was. It made me smile. And I'm still slightly miffed that all you lucky ducks in America get the big bowling balls. I was just in NY last summer; I should've gone bowling there while I had the chance! Anyway, if any of you are wondering how my concert went with my frock, it didn't. I gave up on the whole frock thing and wore my dress (that I got in NY last summer ;). I'm such a rebel it's insane. But in my opinion, I think it kind of looked like a frock so it was all cool. Sadly, my legs are so pale I'm pretty sure I blinded the whole audience with my…whiteness. It was a very emotional night. Our amazing violinist/Concert Master (I happen to call him Mr. Vibrato Man. Don't ask.) played the theme from Schindler's List and needless to say: I cried. That in itself is sad. But he's off to University and now our orchestra is going to suck even more! How sad. I should've learned his ways while I had the chance.**

**I truly feel bad about these updates happening only once a week but it won't be long until school is over for me! (You silly Americans! Don't you even say anything! You're all off school right now, aren't you? Aren't you!) I have this week and then next week is exams and then…done! Then I have all summer to write :) …and that's probably all I'll be doing this summer…Wow, this whole AN is just sadness on a stick!**

**And now, onto more sad business… Edward! Poor Edward. (If this chapter is too rushed, I'm sorry. I smooshed a lot into this chapter dealing with Edward. Is it just me or am I saying 'Edward' a lot? Heh.)**

**EPOV**

Two weeks. Two more weeks passed and the day of Alice and Jasper's release came. I was being selfish but that wasn't anything new. Not only was it not fair that I was losing them but the fact that I was losing both of them in the same _day_ stung deeply.

I was skeptical with their identical date of leave but I partially blamed it on my ever-growing paranoia, which wanted to blame it on that Dr. Reid. He, of course, would probably find great amusement out of my pain of losing two close people in my life. The rational side to me, however small at that point in time, knew that it was merely a coincidence. That, and I had the inkling that the doctors of PRC were becoming careless with whom they let out because it seemed that they were receiving more committed patients by the day.

Not that I didn't believe Alice and Jasper were ready to be let out. During my entire stay at PRC I had constantly wondered why exactly they were there; they were perfectly fine in my eyes.

Today was their day and I wasn't going to let my pathetic, depressing self get in the way of their happiness—I was making it sound like they were getting married. But I wouldn't put it passed them that that would be the next big event in their lives. Alice and Jasper had nothing to worry about when it came to living situations. It turned out that they lived close to one another, a little under an hour away from each other to be exact. The bitter side of me wondered why Bella and I couldn't have been that lucky. _Bella—_

No. I had a promise to keep to myself. Today I was going to be on my best behavior.

"Cheer up, Edward." Though the little sprite was making it very hard.

I turned with narrowed eyes to Alice who was wearing a content smile. "How can you _possibly _expect me to 'cheer up', Alice? You know I'm happy that you're officially over this but you can't expect me to be all bright-eyed and cheery about the situation."

"Sorry I said anything," she muttered after my miniature rant.

I closed my eyes for a moment and sighed, then opened them again. "I'm sorry, Alice."

Her whole demeanor brightened at my apology and she patted my cheek condescendingly. "S'okay." I swatted her hand away in irritation.

Jasper came into the room at this time, seemingly sensing my growing tension.

"Hey, Edward," he greeted.

"Jasper," I replied. He looked at me for a second with pitying eyes and then turned to Alice. I turned away subtly, not needing to see them looking at each other with their adoring, love-filled eyes.

"They're looking for you, Alice, it's time," Jasper said softly. I could tell Alice was trying to hide her excited squeal but a small one slipped out inevitably.

"All right," she said calmly to the best of her ability. "When are you…" she trailed off, looking at me from the corner of her eye.

I sighed, "It's fine, Alice, I'm not trying to stop you from being excited today. You should be and I understand."

She gave me a small smile and a quick hug. "I'll come back to say goodbye when I'm done talking to Juliet." I rolled my eyes at her name for her doctor. I hadn't gotten over that fact.

With that she danced out of the room to her doctor's office, leaving Jasper and myself in the common room to sit in uncomfortable silence.

"You'll be fine, Edward," Jasper finally said.

I scoffed, "Easy for you to say."

"I mean it. You've been putting everything you have into getting over your drug problem that I doubt they'll be keeping you here for much longer. A month tops."

I laughed a short, humourless laugh. "Yeah? And then what? I'll get to sulk and wallow in my depression in my own bed. Sounds fantastic," I said sarcastically.

The prospect of it had sounded ideal when I had thought about it weeks ago but I was coming to the conclusion that, in a twisted way, I didn't want to leave the Center. I was wishing in vain that somehow Bella would return to me. If I left, she would have no way of finding me. It was a pathetic hope even to me.

Jasper gave up reassuring me after that. He and I both knew it was a lost cause but I did try to be a little less gloomy in front of them.

"Jasper Whitlock?" A voice called from the doorway. Both of our heads turned to the new member to the room, who happened to be a nurse. "The doctor will see you shortly, please follow me to the waiting room."

After giving my shoulder a squeeze with his hand Jasper fluently stood up and followed the nurse out to the corridor, leaving me alone in the dim room. I would have to get used to this feeling. After today I would be alone for good here. It is not like I would be going out of my way to make friends. At least I wouldn't have to _try_ and hide how distraught I was now.

Alice and Jasper came back to find me in the same room in the exact same position I was in when they had left me. The realization that they were actually leaving now came crashing through my comfortable numbness as I looked at their faces that held mixed emotions of happiness and sadness. I sickly noticed how it was an interesting contrast to see.

I stood up slowly—the first movement I made in what must have been over a half an hour.

"I guess this is it," I stated tonelessly. Tears sprung to Alice's eyes and she spontaneously (to me) grabbed me in a surprisingly strong hug.

"Goodbye, Edward. Wait! Give me your address for, you know, when you get out. We'll come visit. Here, take mine as well," she said quickly, flinging a piece of loose-leaf out from her back pocket and a pen. I didn't even begin to wonder where she got the pen. I scrawled my address on her piece of paper without putting up a fight—it was useless and I liked the idea of the two of them visiting me. She, in turn, ripped off a piece of that paper and gave me her address. "Good luck, Edward," she said dramatically, holding me by the shoulders at arm's length. "You won't need it, though."

"Thanks," I mumbled, a faint smile gracing my lips at her attempt to lighten the situation.

Jasper gave me another one of his famous shoulder squeezes and also wished me good luck and bid me farewell. He wasn't a man of many words and I didn't mind in the slightest.

I walked them to the exit of the building where Alice gathered me in one last hug. She put her mouth near my ear and whispered words of Alice Wisdom, "Don't dwell on anything for too long. Please remember: Everything will work out in the end."

When she let go, I nodded my head in agreement. Why fight it?

All too soon, Jasper and Alice were walking out the doors of Phoenix Rehabilitation Center leaving me, for the second time that day, alone to watch after them as they walked to their freedom.

I was alone.

* * *

Another four weeks were spent in countless hours of support groups and 'therapy sessions' with the doctor. In those four weeks my life had become to follow that boring routine. Class, support group, quality time with the doctor, more good times with the group, painfully disgusting suppers, bed, and then the next morning I would begin my routine over again. And I had come to accept it.

Yes, I was still yearning for my love, Bella, so much that I was sure it was driving me dangerously close to insanity, but there was that small hope, even after a month, that Bella would come back to Phoenix. It was my fuel to get better. I needed to be the old Edward I had been before I started taking heroine for her. Though, I knew I could be so much more than that Edward now. I had developed more confidence and depth to my emotions than I could have ever thought possible before coming to the Center.

And I was confident in saying that I no longer yearned for that particular drug. I had beaten it. The only drug I needed was Bella. I was addicted and I desperately needed my fix.

On that fourth week after Alice and Jasper's departure, it happened. A day I thought would have never came—and it was certainly beginning to look like it—arrived. _My_ day to be let out of Phoenix Rehabilitation Center.

On that day I was even civil with Dr. Reid. Why not humour him? I'd never see him again. I listened intently as he rambled on about how well he thought I had done and in such a short amount of time, no less.

But as I sat in his office with his nauseating mint green walls and cheap, superficial pieces of art all I could think of was… _Did Alice 'see' this happening when she predicted everything would fall into place? Was she even talking about Bella and I finding each other again or was she merely speaking of my release? _My head was hurting from these thoughts and the possibilities surrounding this one sentence. That little pixie was going to be the death of me.

"Edward?" Esme called, snapping me out of my thoughts. She and Carlisle were both standing up in the office, as well as Dr. Reid. Had I really been that deep in thought? Esme's questioning eyes turned from me to that doctor to thank him.

"Thank you, Dr. Reid. We can't tell you how much we appreciate this."

"It was no trouble at all, Mrs. Cullen. Your son has shown immense determination to overcome his addiction. Edward," he addressed me, "I hope you continue to stay clean."

"Of course," I said. Thinking back on it now, I was quite embarrassed that I had ever even _tried_ heroine. Now I was just ready to forget about it and move on—

What would happen when I leave? Bella wouldn't know where I was… But of course I was being ridiculous.

_She's not coming back for you, Edward. She _left_ you._

Even so, I wasn't about to give up on that small bit of hope. It was all I had.

* * *

"Welcome home, Edward," Esme said, giving me a motherly hug as soon as we walked in the door of the house.

"We're proud of you, son," Carlisle added.

"Thanks, Dad." Esme and Carlisle exchanged a look but I was too tired and beat to even ask.

I excused myself after that to retreat to my room. With a heavy sigh I slumped onto my bed. I was home. For good. I had wanted this since the first day I stepped foot in Phoenix Rehabilitation Center. Now? Now I wasn't so sure how I felt.

I needed Bella. She was the only person who could possibly bring me out of this depression and it looked like I would never be seeing her again. This was all too much to handle. When I had come to PRC, never would I have thought that I would be leaving with all this hanging over me. Or that I would fall in love.

A knock from my door brought me back to the present and my mother and father walked in. I didn't like the looks on their faces. It looked like they were anticipating a bomb to be set off, scared to make any sudden movements.

"Edward, we have some news," Carlisle began.

"Now Edward, please remember we have your best interest in mind," Esme interjected.

"What is it?" I asked, cutting to the chase. They were trying to break something to me easily and it was only annoying me further.

"I've gotten a job offer…" Carlisle said. I looked at him with a confused expression. Where was the problem in that? "Out of state." Oh. The colour drained from my face at those three words.

"What's wrong with your job here?" I asked desperately.

"Nothing, Edward, but they're offering my a position of head doctor. More importantly, I think this would be a good, fresh start for you," Carlisle reasoned.

I closed my eyes in frustration. I didn't _want_ a _fresh start_, I wanted to stay here. I needed to stay here with the hope that Bella might come back. I knew it was a lost cause, though. Carlisle was making it seem like he already had this finalized. I only needed to know one thing.

"Where?" I croaked.

"Sorry?"

"Where are we moving to?" I whispered.

Carlisle hesitated for a moment until he spoke,

"Forks, Washington."

**AN: Bum bum bum. Edward's free! But what shall happen now?? Reviews are appreciated; I'm loving you all with your generous reviews. 50 last chapter! :) I can tell you all right now that there definitely won't be another chapter until next weekend (I'm sorry!). This week, as I said, is my final week so I'll be having tests, essays, labs and what have you all week. Kill me now.**


	23. The World You Love

**AN: 'The World You Love – Jimmy Eat World.' (sigh) I heart it.**

**Okay so, wow? Most reviews yet (almost seventy!!), that's freaking amazing! (You're lucky I'm not one of those authors who wait until you beat that amount until I post another chapter). Thank you all, seriously, it means a lot! :)**

**Disclaimer: I never remember but you guys should know by now that I am indeed not Stephanie Meyer. I am some random Maritimer who has nothing better to do than to sit in her basement and write fanfiction.**

**BPOV**

_I'm going to see Edward, I'm going to see Edward_ was my silent mantra all throughout the plane ride to Arizona. I had received some peculiar looks on the plane from passengers and flight attendants… or I suppose they were looks suggesting that _I_ was the peculiar one. And I didn't doubt their judgment. I was a bouncing fool. Every minute I contemplated marching to the cockpit and flying the plane myself if it meant getting me to Phoenix quicker. But I wasn't in the mood to kill a hundred innocent people today. Or, knowing me, I'd somehow find something to crash into _in _the air.

As soon as I had the okay to unbuckle my seatbelt and get off the plane I booked it out of that too small airplane.

My mind was so focused on the thought of being reunited with Edward that it didn't register until I was standing outside the airport that I had no idea where he lived. My giddy grin that had been plastered to my face faded and I dropped my small overnight bag to the pavement in defeat. _How the hell am I supposed to find him in this humongous city?_ My thoughts practically screamed in my head.

I must have stood there for at least ten minutes mulling everything and nothing over. I had come all this way to see Edward and I wasn't even going to get to see my love. At the same time my mind was completely frozen in place. Shut down. I felt like pulling out my hair in frustration or to at least feel something. Anything.

Suddenly it hit me. I was being selfish. How dare I only worry about seeing Edward on this trip? There was another special person I had _needed _to see and I definitely knew where they lived. I had written it down when we had grown closer in rehab. We had promised to visit each other when we got out and that familiar guilty feeling was seeping back into me.

Before I could withdraw back to my normally pathetic state, I straightened myself up and put on a determined face. Besides, I was sure that the person who had passed me twice now, and had seen me in the same position both of those times, was contemplating asking me if I needed professional attention.

Quickly hailing a taxi, I told the cab driver the address and we were off, speeding away from the airport. It was a generous way away and I knew it would be costing me a fair penny. Luckily, I had quite a bit of money saved up from a previous summer job and it was more than worth it to be spending it on this so I didn't think twice about it.

The driver was thankfully not much of a talker so I was left to my own thoughts and what I would say when I got there. I imagined I would be apologizing for a while.

When we arrived at my destination, I almost rudely shoved the money into his awaiting hand and threw open the car door. I speedily raced up the front path to the two story home, only stumbling once on the uneven tiles.

With one calming breath, I firmly knocked on the grand wooden door and stepped back a step to wait for whoever answered. I was met by Alice's short form, her face holding an uncharacteristic bored expression until she recognized who was at the door. She let out an ear-piercing squeal, sprinting the few steps separating us, almost tackling me to the ground. I caught myself by grabbing hold of the step railing at the last second.

"Bella!" Alice squealed. "What are you doing here?! I've missed you so much! How—wait." Her eyes narrowed as she stepped away from me. I immediately grew nervous under her penetrating stare. "I can't believe you just up and left like that! What the hell were you _thinking_?! I'll tell you; you _weren't _thinking. You—"

"Alice, Alice, please." I begged, cutting her off. I couldn't handle her berating my foolish actions right now, though I knew I fully deserved them. "I'm sorry. I really am."

"Why did you leave, Bella?" Alice asked quietly. It killed me having to look at her downcast face; it did not belong on her.

"I… I thought it would be for the best?" I said weakly, questioningly.

"Yeah, I heard that's supposedly why you left from a certain boy you harshly left behind," she said sharply, making me flinch back at her coldness. Though she could be intimidating during shopping trips, I had never experienced this side of Alice before and it frightened me beyond belief. "Do you have any idea what you did to him when you left?" she questioned but she didn't let me reply as she continued making me feel worse and worse. But the masochist in me knew I deserved it and so I let her speak. "He died inside, Bella. I don't think I saw him crack a smile the whole six weeks after you moved. And Jasper and I were left to try and help him pull himself back together but we knew it was useless. We knew we weren't the people he truly wanted to see."

I was quiet for a moment. I had no idea what to say to that. What _was_ there to say?

"How is he? Have you seen him?" I asked desperately.

"Oh, so _now_ you care."

"Alice, you know I've always cared—"

"Do I?"

"Just let me explain, please?" I pleaded. She relented and relaxed a fraction but

she still kept her guard up. "I really _did_ think it was for the best. Believe me when I say I had you all in mind when I left… I could see I was hurting you guys. I was keeping my own mother from seeing her new husband and I made Edward almost _kill_ himself for pity sake—"

"You didn't make Edward do anything, Bella. Overdosing was _his_ stupid mistake. The only reason he got through that was because he got to see _you_ in the hospital."

I couldn't speak again. Alice was hitting all the key points and proving my flimsy excuse wrong.

"I really am sorry. Please, Alice. You know I love him. I wouldn't intentionally hurt him in any way and you know I never wanted to hurt you."

Her hard eyes softened and she uncrossed her arms from her chest. She let out a heavy sigh.

"I know. I know somehow in your twisted head it made sense. You were trying to play the heroine but look where that got you?" she rolled her eyes playfully.

"I'm sorry," I said once again. That seemed to hit the nail home as Alice launched herself at me for the second time.

"I really did miss you," she said whole-heartedly.

"I missed you too," I replied, giving her a squeeze with my arms.

"I really hate that I can't stay mad at you…" she sighed.

I chuckled but remained quiet, pulling away from her. I decided to change the topic to a slightly happier one. "Well what have I missed? When did you get out?"

"Oh! Uhm…" she paused, lifting her eyes to the roof of the porch to calculate. "About four weeks ago. Jazz and I got released on the same day," she beamed.

"How is Jasper?" I humoured her. I wanted to know how he was but I could tell there was some news that Alice was anticipating to tell me.

"He's great!" she said quickly, moving to her main topic of discussion. "And he only lives an hour away! We get to see each on weekends!"

"That's great, Alice, I'm happy for you," I tried to sound enthusiastic. I _was_ happy for her but I couldn't hide my jealousy very well, which is why I asked my next question.

"Have you seen Edward lately, then?" Her face suddenly turned sympathetic.

"No. I'm not sure if he's out yet or not. I don't see why he wouldn't be. He was determined to get over the heroin after you left—sorry," she said quickly after seeing my wince. "You're going to go see him now, right? I know you came here to see _me_ but…" she teased.

I rolled me eyes. "You know I came to see you just as much as I came here to see Edward. I'd go see Jasper as well but I kind of spent most of money on the cab here."

"Idiot!" she exclaimed. "Why didn't you call me? I would've came and got you!"

"Well, based on how you welcomed me here I wasn't so sure what your reaction to hearing from me would be."

She stopped for a second. "Good point," she grinned.

"Oh!" A thought just coming to me. "Can I ask for a huge favour?"

"Depends," she chirped.

"On what?" I asked incredulously, I figured she'd have no problem with this.

"On whether I get a trip to the mall out of it," she said seriously.

My mouth gaped. "You're kidding?"

"Honestly Bella, I find it insulting how you would believe I'd joke about shopping. It hurts," she said, holding a tiny hand to her heart.

"Knock it off. Yeah, I'll go," I said, rolling my eyes. Annoying pixie. "So can I stay here for a couple of nights or what?"

"Of course," she said triumphantly.

"Thanks," I said sarcastically. She was just too proud that she weaseled a shopping trip out of me. "I need to go see Edward now, though."

"Yes, you do. What's wrong?" she inquired, seeing the apprehension in my eyes.

"I'm nervous, I guess… I mean, what if he doesn't want to see me?" I was all of a sudden worried about Edward's reaction to me. I had been trying to stay positive the entire plan ride but it had caught up to me.

Alice simply rolled her eyes. "I'd like for you to come up with _another_ reason why Edward was depressed the entire, what was it, four weeks **(AN so I can't do the math…) **that Jasper and I were left to watch him mope about."

"Thanks Alice," my sarcastic nature was back with a vengeance, "just make me feel worse about what I did; that's great."

"Just get your butt over to him."

I was about to walk down the porch steps when I realized that rather important fact yet again. "Alice," I turned around to her, "I have no bloody clue where he lives!" I threw my arms up in the air helplessly, slapping them against my thighs.

Her face dropped for a moment until it brightened again. She ran into her house without a word and I followed, looking like a fool outside while the door was wide open. I walked up the staircase leading to the second floor and found her frantically rummaging through everything throughout her entire room. I stood there in awe as I watched this tiny figure dash around the room in an unfathomable speed, pulling clothes from drawers and miscellaneous objects from her enormous walk-in closet.

"Ah ha!" she proclaimed.

"What is it?" I asked wearily.

"I knew I asked him for it for a reason," she muttered. She uncrinkled a torn piece of paper and slapped into the palm of my hand.

"What is thi…?" I trailed off as I looked down to find beautiful, elegant writing. I knew this writing; I had seen it everyday in rehab on his schoolwork but it stood out most to me on a certain sheet of music. And as I read what his writing said it clicked in my head why this piece of paper was so important.

It was Edward's address.

* * *

Alice let me borrow her car (a _Porsche _no less) to drive to Edward's house and what I was met with stunned me. Good thing I was already parked before I decided to take in the house.

It was a modern home but had an old-fashion feel to it. It actually wasn't that much bigger than the home I had in Phoenix or Charlie's in Forks but it was just _nicer_. I was guessing that Edward's mother had spent a lot of time just tending to the garden in the front. I was suddenly self-conscious of my boring, bland home.

I didn't spend any more time ogling the home as I briskly walked up the steps to the door. I was so nervous. I tentatively knocked on the door and stepped back, for the second time that day, to wait for someone to answer.

I waited for two minutes but no one answered. Again I knocked but was met with the same result. This could not be happening. I pulled the piece of paper from my front pocket to double check the address. Yes, I was at the right place.

I desperately looked around anywhere, hoping for some answer or sign. I _needed_ to see Edward. I didn't fly all the way here to come face to face with nothing but a locked door. As my frantic eyes scanned the front lawn, that's when they locked in on it. A moving sign.

I sprinted to it and my face dropped as I read what it said. SOLD was plastered in big, arrogant letters across the sign and I slumped down to the grass in defeat. I couldn't believe it. Tears automatically sprung to my eyes but I wouldn't accept this and fought them back. I _refused_ to accept the fact that Edward had moved.

No. He was still in rehab. He hadn't left. With that calming thought I ran back to the Porsche and sped away to Phoenix Rehabilitation Center. A place I never thought I would return to.

I marched through the sliding doors and right up to the front desk with as much confidence as I could muster.

"I need to see Edward Cullen, it's important," I said to the receptionist. She looked at me as if I was insane for a moment but put on an impassive mask.

"Miss, are you family?" she asked.

"No," I answered without thinking.

"Then I'm afraid I can't let you do that, and even if you were we keep the visits with the patients a minimum here."

"_Please?_" I resorted to begging. "It really is important."

"I'm sorry, miss. Now if you could, please leave the premises before I need to call security," she said formally.

I let out a frustrated growl.

"What's all the commotion out here?" a voice asked coming down the hallway. I recognized him immediately as Dr. Reid. Not the person I wanted to see just then. Or was he?

"Dr. Reid!" I said, half-jogging over to him.

"Bella, back so soon?" he asked.

"What's that supposed to me?" I asked defensively; I had no patience for any type of joke whatsoever at this point. I didn't let him reply. "—Whatever. I need to see Edward," I basically demanded.

"Edward?" he asked, his eyebrow furrowed.

"Yes," I drew out the word. How could he forget one of his own patients?

"Bella, he was released not even a week ago."

The air in my lungs left my chest at his words. No, no, no. This wasn't supposed to happen. At least when I had moved I knew Edward was still in Arizona but now… how was I supposed to know where he was? He could have moved to Europe for all I knew.

I left the Center without another word to the doctor.

I drove back to Alice's in a numb state. This couldn't be happening.

I hadn't even stepped foot onto her porch before Alice threw open the door. After taking in my appearance her eyes grew worried.

"What's wrong? What happened?"

"He wasn't there, Alice," I said flatly.

"What?! Well did you—"

"He wasn't home, he wasn't at rehab, he's _gone_, Alice," I said, the tears coming back more forcibly this time until they spilled over.

"Oh, Bella…" she muttered, gathering me into a hug. I cried, resting my head on the top of hers—she was too short for me to lean my head on her shoulder while standing without it looking or feeling awkward. When my eyes were finally dried, she took my hand in hers led me back into her house, bringing me back up to her room.

Neither of us spoke for an immeasurable amount of time. What was there to say?

"Well I didn't see this coming," Alice muttered. I was too distraught to even ask her what she was talking about. "Maybe there's still hope, Bella…you never know," she said gently.

I scoffed. "Please, Alice. We both know it's useless," I said pessimistically as I sniffled. "At least I got to see you," I said quietly. That was true. I don't know what I would have done if I had come here and not even have been able to see either of them.

"You're still welcome to stay another couple of days. You do owe me that shopping trip," she said, lightening the mood slightly.

"How could I forget?" I asked, rolling my eyes playfully. Alice got up and walked over to me, giving me another comforting hug.

"It'll be okay," she consoled.

"I hope you're right, Alice."

Though I had Alice with me, she wasn't the person I was _yearning_ to see. I needed to Edward's face. Even if he didn't take me back it would just be nice to know I hadn't gone insane.

_This couldn't be happening._

**AN: Um… so I know a lot of you are just getting fed up at this point wondering when Edward and Bella are going to see each other… it's coming! Sorry! The ending's rushed because I wanted to post it for you all!**

**As I reread this I laughed at how many time I wrote 'happening'. It was intentional but I think it had to do with just seeing 'The Happening' featuring a certain Mr. Mark Wahlberg aka one of my many secret pretend husbands (my others including Matthew Gray Gubler from Criminal Minds and Andrew McMahon from Something Corporate, for instance)! Eeek! Has anyone else seen it?! Intense much? I love Zooey Deschanel as well so it was rather awesome. Sorry sorry, I'm done, gosh.**

**Soooo, I'm pumped. This week is (technically) my LAST week of school! Ahhh! I mean, I go back one day next week on the 27th but who's counting that? I'm not. I'm so excited it's insane. Sorry, carry on with the fabulous reviews? :)**

**(I think my late New Year's Resolution will be to write shorter Author Notes…)**


	24. Into the Ocean

**AN: 'Into the Ocean – Blue October AN: 'Into the Ocean – Blue October.' I wasn't a fan originally with their song "Hate Me" but this song got me. And their song 18th Floor Balcony? Love.**

**Emily's on summer break (technically)! I am so happy exams are over, though I'd like to not talk about the math exam… oh god. But I'm done and that's all that matters.**

**Happy Belated Birthday, Edward!**

**EPOV**

"You've got to be joking," I muttered as I stepped out of the Port Angeles airport. This town was the polar opposite of what I was used to in Phoenix. It wasn't because this place was disturbingly small compared to Phoenix or the fact that no matter how carefully I scoured I was not able to find one vehicle in the airport parking lot that was made before 1990.

It was the _rain_.

How could there be so much rain? Being from Phoenix, Arizona, a state where it only rains a handful of days a year, I was completely baffled at the first sight my eyes beheld of Port Angeles. I couldn't help but pick up the unspoken sarcastic messages, 'Welcome to Your Own Personal Hell' and 'Get Used to It.' This was just perfect. The perfect atmosphere to match my mood. With this conclusion I took to giving a better effort to accepting my new town. The weather and I seemed to have an understanding and so I embraced this dreary town much to my parents' confusion. I had, of course, been previously sulking the entire plan ride to Washington so my abrupt change in character was questionable if not worrisome.

This town only worsened my mood but the masochist in me didn't care in the slightest, though the sane part of me just wanted to scream out, "Pull yourself together, man!" But I was beginning to like the prospect of living in a small town. Perhaps there would be fewer people to judge but I could be getting ahead of myself with that one.

The drive to our new home took just under an hour, though I knew I could shorten that time greatly once my Volvo arrived and I was behind the wheel. We pulled onto a winding drive surrounded by overly green trees—that seemed to be the trend in Forks. We shortly after pulled up to a house that was much larger than the one we owned in Arizona. My jaw fell in astonishment as I looked at the grand Victorian style house in front of us. I knew already that Esme was just itching to redecorate it inside and out.

"What do you think, Edward?" Esme asked eagerly, turning around in her seat to see my reaction. Of course my reaction was nothing but confusion and wonder; probably the most emotion I had shown in the past two months.

"Don't you think it's a bit…large?" I asked, bewildered. "I mean, we can't possibly be in need of this many rooms." We did not need this big of a house for three people.

"Well no but it's just so much more roomy and spatial. Never mind the fact that it's simply a _beautiful _house," Esme ended with a beaming face.

A bit my tongue from saying anything. And I had thought our home in Phoenix was big.

As we waited for the moving trucks carrying all of our possessions to arrive Esme visited every room in the house mentally planning out how she would design the layout. She was like a little kid in a candy store, for lack of a better simile.

The moving trucks arrived shortly after we did and we got to work with unpacking. This was good. Anything to keep my mind focused off of other thoughts.

I had gotten a room on the third floor (_third_ floor) and it, like the house, was a lot larger than the room I had in Phoenix—I had to stop comparing everything to Phoenix. One wall was entirely made of glass and gave me a spectacular view of the backyard and forest. Esme and Carlisle—or perhaps just Esme—had bought me a grand, black leather couch to be placed in my room. If I didn't know any better I would think they trying to make up for something.

I spent a good part of the rest of my evening organizing my CDs. Luckily the walls in my room were large enough to fit them all. At home I would have one wall filled plus another separate CD tower filled.

I breathed a sigh of relief when my Volvo finally arrived on Sunday. I felt the need to drive it so—again for the need to keep myself busy—I took myself on a tour of Forks. Unfortunately, this didn't last long. It was Forks, after all.

On Sunday night, I was still awake in the early hours of the morning. The rain continued long into the night but I after a while I didn't mind it; it was almost therapeutic. Though the things running through my head were anything but therapeutic.

As I lied in bed I was wondering where Bella was at this very second; in her new town where she had her new friends and, who was I kidding, probably a new boyfriend. At this aggravating thought I gave up on the whole idea of sleeping. It was only a couple of hours until I had to get ready for school anyway. Had I really been lying in bed for that long? I realized I wasn't even tired.

After spending at least twenty minutes in the shower—what else was I supposed to do? —I dressed as slowly as possible, wasting as much time as I could. It was very tedious but it seemed to be working as I set to the task of making an extravagant breakfast—I was up so early my parents weren't even awake yet—though I wasn't that hungry.

"Edward?" Esme shuffled into the kitchen, still clad in her sleeping attire. "What are doing up so early?"

"Couldn't sleep," I muttered. Esme gave me a sympathetic look.

"You'll get used to Forks, dear," she consoled. I had no reply to that. Maybe I would but it still didn't mean I wanted to be in Washington.

Finally I felt that it was a safe enough time to go to school. It was still a bit early but I didn't know how hard it would be to find the school. I'll admit I was more than amused to find that it took me less than ten minutes to pull up to Forks High; if you could call it that. The format of the school was slightly strange but I didn't think much of it. Quite a few things in Forks were strange; for instance, the unusual amount of rain fall and the greenness of practically the entire town. Strange.

There weren't that many vehicles in the parking lot yet so after receiving my schedule—a disturbing task. I had the inkling that the secretary had a crush on me—I sat in my Volvo as I waited for the students with their outdated cars to arrive.

I had little trouble finding my way around the school on my own, however the female population of Forks High thought otherwise. They offered to escort me to every one of my classes or not so subtly offered to escort me to dinner… or some other places that I'm not willing to disclose. I politely but firmly declined every offer. I was definitely not ready for a relationship even _if_ someone here caught my eye. The sad part is that I would probably feel like I'm cheating on Bella.

It was the period before lunch and up until that point I had been lucky enough to not have to endure the task of introducing myself to the class. Until that point.

"Class we have a new student with us today, Edward Cullen, and—Mr. McCarty, are you all right?" Mr. Mason asked as a boy from the back of the class burst out in a fit of coughs.

"Yeah yeah," he muttered, as he looked at me like I had grown another head.

"Mr. Cullen would you mind introducing yourself to the class?" Mr. Mason asked.

"Not at all," I replied politely, though on the inside I was sighing in aggravation. "I'm Edward Cullen and I just moved here from Phoenix, Arizona with my family, umm…"

As I trailed off due to having nothing else really to say, I could have sworn I heard someone whisper, "What's with all the people from Phoenix moving to Forks?"

I slinked off to an empty seat before I was subjected to any more embarrassment.

At lunch I found the cafeteria with the unfortunate help from one of my unwelcomed admirers. I had grown used to the few hormonal, carefree girls in rehab. Plus I had Bella, so—

_Stop._

I paid for my food and sat down at an empty table. This was feeling oddly familiar.

"Can we join you?" I was pulled out of my trance when the kid from my last class and a blond girl, who was unsubtly beautiful, approached the table. It was the guy who had spoken—I had just noticed how big he was; he was all muscle—while the girl looked skeptical of something.

"Yeah, sure," I replied.

"Hi, I'm Emmett McCarty," he introduced with a huge grin on his face while the girl introduced herself as Rosalie Hale.

"Edward Cullen," I said for Rosalie who hadn't been in any of classes so far to hear my name. Her eyes grew wide at this and I was immediately confused.

"See?" Emmett muttered to Rosalie. I think I was supposed to not be able to hear it but I don't think Emmett understood the concept of being sneaky.

"What?" I asked bluntly.

"Nothing. So your name is Edward Cullen?" Emmett asked.

I sighed, "Yes."

"And you're from _Phoenix_… Phoenix, Arizona." Rosalie put her head in her hand as Emmett spoke.

"Yes, what is so hard to under—"

"Have you ever done drugs? — OW!"

"What?!" I exclaimed as Rosalie hit Emmett in the back of the head.

"Ignore him, he's an idiot," Rosalie explained as she glared at Emmett.

"Rose, that hurts," Emmett mumbled with a pout. I chuckled at his performance but I was uneasy with the last question he asked. Why would he ask that?

"Care to tell me what the questions were for?" I inquired while I took a bite of my sandwich, trying to sound casual but failing as even I could hear the unease in my voice.

"I told you; he's an idiot."

The two quickly changed the subject and I followed for the most part when I wasn't contemplating Emmett's reason for his questions. I decided to simply brush it off and think nothing more of it.

Emmett and Rosalie turned out to be a comical duo just on their own with their banter. Though I couldn't miss the odd looks they would give me when they thought I wasn't looking. I figured they knew something I didn't but what would there be for them to know that I didn't? I hadn't even known them for that long.

"So Edward, what brings you to Forks?" Rosalie asked.

"Uh, my dad got a job here at the hospital. It seemed like a better offer than in Phoenix so he took it," I ended with a shrug. I didn't bother saying how my parents figured it was a better start for me or that I was a recovering heroin addict.

The bell signaling the end of lunch rang and I was saved from any further questions. Rosalie and Emmett would definitely keep me on my toes.

I walked outside to my next class and, of course, it was raining. I would need to invest in a raincoat. Or even a coat, for that matter.

I was spared the task of introducing myself in Biology and was given a table all to myself. I didn't prefer lab partners because I found they dragged me down. I had learned what this class was going over already in Phoenix. So I was glad to have no partner.

Though I was told it was only for today.

**AN: I didn't originally want them to have the ginormous house they have in Twilight because, come on, there are only three of 'em but I caved. Short chapter, I do feel bad. Some of this was written while I was supposed to be studying for exams, that's why it's lame and that's why I probably failed my math exam.**

**This chapter bored me and I apologize for the shortness.**

**Next chapter may or may not be the last chapter. Depends on how short it is. If it's disgustingly short I'll fit everything into one chapter and that'll be it! I hope to have it up in _less_ than a week, possibly a couple of days.**


	25. So Contagious

**AN: 'So Contagious – Acceptance.' Good enough. I just picked the first song I could think of. No eleborate story.**

**Turns out, I didn't fail Grade Ten. How about that? Though, again, we will not speak of my math mark, baha. Go die, mathematics. You and your stupid Unit Circle.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

**THIS IS IT, GUYS! MOMENT OF TRUTH FOR E & B!**

**BPOV**

Alice was most definitely serious when she 'bargained' a shopping trip out of me. I spent an entire Sunday shopping for clothes that probably wouldn't even fit in my suitcase for my return. Whoever decided shopping on Sundays should be allowed is a dead man.

I can't say I particularly _missed_ the mall in Arizona. The mall closest to Forks might be a fourth of the mall in Phoenix. One of the few 'pros' of moving to Forks; less shopping. I imagine if Alice lived in Forks she would personally see to having a bigger mall built.

On Monday I had to leave much to both of our displeasure. I was missing the sun already. Before I even said my goodbyes to Alice I returned to Edward's old home. I knew I was hoping in vain that it would be some joke. That Edward hadn't actually moved. That he was just waiting to surprise me and miraculously take me back. But as I pulled up to the beautiful home, the home that Edward had grown up in, there it was; that daunting moving sign standing as tall and strong as ever.

I glared at it as I sat down beside the sign just gazing at the house, picturing a younger Edward running around out in the front yard, my present Edward leaving the house as he would go to school. He would hop into his silver Volvo that he had told me about back in rehab. I could tell by the way he had talked about it that he loved the car.

I heaved a surprisingly deep sigh as I sat on the –of course—perfectly manicured lawn. I obviously couldn't catch a break. It was just like me to finally scrounge up the nerve to drag myself back here and fix what I had screwed up but what happens when I arrive? I discover he's not even in the damned … state, for all I knew! As if my depression couldn't get any worse.

I didn't know when, if ever, I'd be able to get over him. I knew that I'd never really be able to but I had to at least try.

So after I had endured enough self-inflicted torture, I took in the house one last time, enjoying the unusual quiet surrounding me, and made my way back to Alice's Porsche that I had once again hijacked. Not before kicking that stupid sign to, I don't know, somehow spite it, but it only resulted in a throbbing toe on my part.

I returned to Alice's house and it was an eerie silence between us. We both knew that we wouldn't be seeing each other for a while but we promised each other that we would visit each other as often as possible, though Alice would probably be visiting my state more. Although she was now living in a foster home –she was removed from her father's home after her attempted suicide—she had large inheritances, which let her go on her many infamous shopping trips.

She drove me to the airport and waited with me until I had to leave. As my flight was called I turned to her and my heart broke to see that her eyes were watering—not that mine weren't but it was painful to see Alice cry. We seemed to have a competition of who could squeeze who the hardest in a hug; Alice won, of course, the freakishly strong pixie.

"You better be expecting me to visit within the month," Alice said in a playfully threatening tone.

"Of course. Just what I need, two crazed shoppers in the same vicinity as me," I said sarcastically, referring to Rosalie who Alice was dying to meet. She rolled her eyes jokingly at my statement. I wasn't as sad at this farewell. At least I knew this wasn't a last goodbye. "Make sure you bring Jasper with you," I reminded. I was sad I hadn't seen him this trip.

"Yeah yeah, now get! I'll see you when I see you," she laughed. Stealing one last hug, I boarded the plane, departing that beloved sunny state. I would miss Alice but I knew that she was happy here with her new family and Jasper just a short drive away.

I was obviously calmer on this flight than the last but only because I was trying my damnedest to think of _anything_ other than the fact that I had not seen that beautiful, bronze-haired boy that had been intruding my dreams for the past couple of months. But I had promised myself to try and get over him and that was what I was going to try to do. _Starting… now._

I would be returning to that dreaded cloudy, desolate town. Though I couldn't help but smile at the thought of seeing Rosalie and Emmett again. Rosalie will be nothing but pissed after hearing that the boy she had all but forced me to go see wasn't even there.

Another thought hit me suddenly and it caused my eyebrows to stitch in worry. Charlie. I had told him I was going to visit Renee and obviously I did no such thing. I could only pray that the two hadn't been in any line of communication while I was away or else I would surely be in serious trouble.

With that _pleasant_ thought lurking in front of my mind, I boarded off the plane to see Charlie waiting at the gate for me. A stab of guilt went through me but I swallowed it down as I approached, hoping to come off as a perky girl who had just had the pleasure of visiting her missed mother.

"Bells, how was Phoenix? How was Renee?" he asked. I was surprised he was being this animated but I figured he was trying to see if I was better, emotionally. I hurried to think of a lie, I had been good at lying to the student body of Forks High, why not now?

"It was great, Dad! It was so good to see Renee again," I said in a fake content sigh. _I still have it._

This was enough for Charlie and so we embarked on the drive to home.

It was a quiet night after we had arrived home, like always, continuing the same routine we had followed before I had left for a couple of days. I would cook us dinner and then we both would migrate to our respective places in the house—Charlie's being in front of the television in the living room and mine in my room.

The following day at school I was welcomed back by Emmett and Rosalie. I was thrown off at first. I had assumed they would be a little more excitable to hear about my visit to Phoenix—however depressing the news may be—than when I initially saw them.

"Bella! Welcome back," Emmett greeted me in the parking lot before school, supplying me with a massive bear hug nearly choking me.

"We missed you, Bella," Rosalie said with a grin. "How was Phoenix?"

I sighed, "He wasn't there, Rose." I could have sworn I saw a glint in Rosalie's eye at this news but I brushed it off. "I don't know where he moved to or anything but I did get to see Alice which was nice," I said sadly.

Rosalie pulled me into a hug, "I'm sorry, Bella."

"Well you never know, he could've moved closer to you than you think," Emmett said in an ominous sort of way. Rosalie and I both turned to him as he just shrugged and turned away.

I looked back to Rosalie and she murmured, "It'll be okay." I gave her a squeeze as a sign of thanks.

The morning was monotonous as per usual. I had missed a day, yes, but I had missed a school day where I really didn't miss much so I couldn't even busy myself with schoolwork. My promise I had made with myself to not think about… _him _was failing miserably. I could swear I was going insane as I walked the halls of Forks High. It had to be my imagination, as I would see the back of a bronze head up in front of me between classes. Then I would blink and it would be gone.

By the time lunch came around I was about ready to give up and just go home for the day. Seeing Rosalie and Emmett brightened my spirits, though, so I stayed. That and when I mentioned possibly leaving they acted as if that would be the most shameful of crimes.

I left the table and cafeteria in a hurry. Although I was glad to see them again and they were being nothing but supportive, they were just acting too weird for me to handle.

"Have fun in _Biology_, Bella!" I heard Emmett call. I chose to ignore that.

I only then noticed that class didn't start for another twenty-five minutes. This meant that the halls would be relatively clear, to my happiness.

I rushed to Biology, looking down at my feet as usual so as not to trip. When I reached the door to the classroom, I smashed—seriously; this was no gentle bump—into another person coming from the opposite direction. Both of our books went flying as we crashed to the floor. I was mortified, of course, so in Bella fashion I started stammering out a pathetic apology.

"I'm so, so sorry! I wasn't watching where I was going." Through this I had yet to look up at the unlucky victim of my clumsiness. My eyes were glued to the floor until I heard a sharp intake of breath.

"Bella." It wasn't a question, it was an acknowledgment. A shocked one at that. My eyes snapped up at the sound of that velvety voice that I had longed to hear for too long. But it couldn't be—

There he was. In all his amazing, gorgeous glory.

"Edward?" Of course my reply came out weaker and more in an inquiring tone. I was all but questioning my sanity so it wouldn't have surprised me if I were imagining Edward sitting in front of me for my own sick torture.

We sat there in suspended silence for a full thirty seconds until Edward made the first move. He tentatively reached out until he gathered me into a hug. "I can't believe…" he trailed off.

"I'm sorry, Edward," I cried. He tried to calm me with a gentle 'shhh' but I wasn't having any of that. I continued. "I really thought it was for the best. That if we were separated you'd get over me and move on with your life. I understand if you're mad at me, if you don't want me anymore. I just—"

"Bella, Bella, stop," Edward said firmly, cutting off my embarrassing rant—thank god the halls were still empty, eh? He waited until I was looking at him again—with the help of his hands on my face, guiding me. "It's all right. I get—"

"But I—"

"Would you let me speak, you silly girl?" he choked out a laugh. "In a way, I can understand your reasons behind your actions, though I do not know where you come off blaming my issues on yourself," he scolded. "I missed you so much," he finally said as he pulled me into another hug. "And if you'd consider being mine… again, I'd—"

"Edward, are you kidding me? I love you, that's why I tried to do the 'right' thing by leaving, though obviously it just ended up being the dumbest move of the decade," I smirked. "I _love_ you, I never stopped loving you. I don't know why you're asking _me_ to take you back. _I'm_ the one that should be apologizing like crazy and begging you to take me back."

Edward sighed and leaned his forehead against mine. "We're both idiots," he murmured.

That we were.

"I love you," I whispered. How I had missed saying those three words to him. Edward conveyed his love for me in a gentle kiss. How I had missed the feeling of his lips on mine.

The shrill sound of the warning bell sounded throughout the school and almost simultaneously, kids came pouring into the hall. We then realized that were still sitting down with our books scattered everywhere.

Edward and I—I sighed a _true_ content sigh at those words—were the first ones in the Biology room. We went to our respective seats when we noticed that we had walked to the same table.

Edward smirked, "Of course."

We used that short time before class began to take in how absurd the situation actually was. I wasn't a real believer of fate but after experiencing this odd event I was going to revaluate where my beliefs lied. Turns out, Edward's father received a job offer here that he couldn't refuse. His parents also believed it would be good for Edward to get away. When Edward told me this he left the explanation at that and again I felt guilty that I had put him through pain.

We weren't finished talking and I knew that, even though Edward waved off all of my apologies saying that they were not necessary, I would continue to try and make up for what I did. I grinned at the idea of us actually being able to go out on our first date and not be confined to one building. We could actually be a normal boyfriend and girlfriend, though we had never been normal in any circumstance and I didn't mind in the least bit.

For the time being, Edward and I simply enjoyed each other's presence in that stuffy classroom. We had gone without each other for too long.

"You do realize that Emmett and Rosalie knew, right?" I muttered.

"Yeah, I figured something was up. Emmett really isn't good at subtlety." I grinned. This was true. Somehow, they must've thought not telling us would help in the long run. I wasn't going to dwell on it; I had Edward—though I strongly believed I didn't deserve him—and that's all that mattered.

As the bell to the end of the class rang, Edward's face slipped into a pout. "I'm not used to being in different classes than you. I don't like it."

I rolled my eyes playfully, "C'mon, you'll manage." Though secretly, I was thinking the very thing he had said.

"What if I can't? What if I'm addicted to your very presence?" Edward said seriously as he leaned into me, running his nose along my jaw. A shiver ran down my spine. "You're my drug."

"Don't worry, it's only one class 'til you can get your fix," I breathed. "Though, haven't you learned anything? Addiction isn't healthy," I smirked, stepping way. I started walking backwards down the hall.

I could see Edward say something in reply but it was lost in the sea of bodies in the hall. A playful glare showed on his face and I turned back around so I wouldn't trip.

I missed him by my side already but he was here and he wouldn't be going anywhere if I had anything to say about it. We were to fools who, sure, we got over our substance addiction, but we had both found something else that was far more addictive and was ten times harder to withdrawal from.

**AN: 'Kay, who thought I was going to do the whole intense, dramatic cafeteria scene where everyone's all deathly silent and the characters put on a whole scene for everyone thing? Silly readers, trix are for kids.**

**I dunno if I liked the ending but I needed to finish it. It was vital. I'm not sure how many reviews I'm going to get for this because… what's up with not getting any alerts for updates?? Jeepers. So no worries, I have more ideas that I'm itching to get out there. Not sure how good they are but meh. Look for them soon!**

**That's that! Finito! I'd like to thank ALL of you for all of your support and your reviews. Man, I really didn't think I'd get as many as I did.**


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